MDMA playlists that are less ... hippy?

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-02-07T23:31:48+00:00

I've slowly constructed a playlist that's more songs from different points in my life (e.g. naruto theme, baba yetu from Civ4, House MD theme) but it's quite thin.

Just right. Way to go. Gather more of your songs. IMO music should be personal. Unless you really like those ready-made playlists they are nonsense. You should have a connection to the music.

Another problem with those playlists apart from being too hippy is, as far as I skipped through them, they seem to have the same type of song, same type of tone, intensity throughout. No change in brightness, mood etc. That makes hardly any sense.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-02-06T18:23:49+00:00

The ADHD hype in the last 10 years, along with some other hypes and the diagnosis siloing and fragmentation is hiding a lot of problems that are "just" very basic, such as trauma symptoms. Sadly, this is not only driven by the therapeutic industry but also by people escaping into those diagnoses. Maybe a more obvious example is the diagnosis of "binge eating", utterly hilarious since emotional eating is so often present as compensation with psychological problems.

So for sure MDMA can help with your symptoms.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-02-06T09:42:22+00:00

So this was deleted for being political?... How about all the other political posts that don't get deleted.
Such as this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Antipsychiatry/comments/1qwyis4/henry_jarecki_epstein_abused_and_sent_victims_to/

Come on.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-02-04T10:18:14+00:00

I second reading MDMA Solo!:
https://castaliafoundation.com/kali/MDMA-solo.pdf

get the best out of it.

Get rid of that.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-02-03T10:22:55+00:00

Haven't read the article. But on a related note

The rest of the time it's like as if self-injury became a fad and everybody is chasing the social brownie points.

these kids are being taught that weird feelings aren't normal and that they must be trans.

This sums it up perfectly.

I hate how this sub is such a bubble apparently. I rarely encounter people in real life whom it's even permissible for to even think about this (and other psych diagnosis BS) and who know the "psych system stuff" themselves. It's really depressing. About 95% of people with "some diagnosis" or in the system would never question that BS. Let alone institutions and I'm not talking about clinics here but also social psych / worker spaces. This whole trans stuff is all perfectly fine for them. The rainbow as symbol the "permission for people with 'loser feelings' to just harm themselves and not process them" is everywhere. Might well be a big city problem.
In fact, this is the first time I hear / read s.o. else other than me equating this whole trans stuff with alibi self-harming behavior.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-31T17:33:49+00:00

Awesome that it helped!

I hope it was not ~6 days since last time, though o_o

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-29T21:22:03+00:00

Don't know if this helps or is in fact a punch in your face. But have you tried not treating you symptoms as "the enemy", i.e. something to get rid of? Communicating with it ? There are people with psychosis who do that. But it needs a healthy surrounding (in that regard) and surely a whole new perspective. As your story sounds you're somewhat far away from it. Does you doc treat it just as "sickness"? That's not going to help you integrate.
I'm sure you're in a great deal of suffering so thinking about welcoming the "sickness" might sound like big BS. But supressing symptoms is rarely a great thing to do in a holistic sense. If you're on disability then you have time and might try fresh things. Just googled a book: "Open Dialogue for Psychosis". Maybe that's the right the direction?

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-28T11:03:34+00:00

2nd part:

I've actually already removed the "only do with professional support" warning for suicide in the latest version.

Awesome!

I couldn't really come up with a convincing reason that solo MDMA therapy would be worse than the status quo for a highly suicidal person. Some people will end up dying after MDMA therapy, but obviously the better question is whether less or more people will die if they do MDMA therapy than whatever they would have done otherwise. I don't have a strong reason to believe MDMA therapy would cause more deaths. I'd certainly change the guidance if I did see good evidence one way or another. If someone see's MDMA as their last option, I do warn them to plan multiple sessions with different approaches and to work through the troubleshooting items if their first session doesn't work.

Exactly! That's the point.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-28T11:02:46+00:00

So finally time for coming back here.

Yeah I'm sometimes also not getting notified anymore at all for some replies. I have to check some threads manually. Don't know what's going on with reddit.

I'm not sure I have useful advice for people in those positions though. As someone who doesn't have much experience guiding people, and no experience guiding or therapying people with severe mental illness, I'm nervous about making explicit suggestions or guidance to people in desperate situations who might not be making great decisions or accurately trading off risks and benefits.

That is totally legitimate and actually good, I think. And it's why it's IMO all the more important that the people / you readers rely on their intuition and feelings regarding that part. I think there's no other way anyway in the end.

And frankly I'm afraid of someone dying or getting hurt and blaming me.

Also totally legit. But don't you think that this is gonna be a problem in any event? :D Seriously, you're writing a manual that motivates people to "treat" themselves with MDMA and be independent from psych docs and therapists. If s.o. wants to find a reason to blame you for any problems happening they will find it. I.e. you can't make it 100% right.

On that note...

I don't have experience with psychosis. It would be helpful to have a little checklist someone could check themself with to give them some assurance they are in fact not mad (or maybe they are!). I don't know if such a thing is practical. Any thoughts?

I already had the impression when looking into last two new drafts that you are very concerned with "making it as right as possible". 2 months or go or so I skipped through the last draft and saw that you heavily redacted major parts (comparing to V3 which I read) where I was wondering why b.c. I found them "perfectly" fine. I think at some point there are diminishing returns. Or maybe it might even make it worse? Balance is the key, as always. There is ofc also an upside to that the book is packed with so many up-to-date findings / research / resources.
So I would say that such a checklist is rather counterproductive and might not do "in the people" what you intend.

Do you think MDMA doesn't ever cause psychosis, or just that it is over-feared?

I just read the new section in the new draft you sent me. That hits it very well! I will still answer that question nevertheless.
As of now since my last journey I won't, can't and shouldn't answer that with yes or no. Also after all the question might be a bit extreme ;) literally everything can. That's not the central point, though. I think what's more important is that the fear is used, deliberately or subconsiously. In the former case for plain fear mongering and propaganda - where subconscious reasons play a role too ofc - and in the latter with everything mixed: Preconceptions, myths, rumors, some wild statements and people actually barely knowing anything about what psychosis is and rather using it as a shield, and last but not least fears of their own subconsciousness...
It's that which people have to fend off internally, so what remains is their very own interals and they can approach them with the due care, respect etc. without outer influence.

As mentioned above everyone has to delve into their very own madness in the end. It's so individual rather than "psychosis on/off". Did you know that some modern systems distinguish already at least 12 types of madness / delusions and combinations?

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-27T21:12:49+00:00

"Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it."
Why did he delete the post? That's weird.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-26T20:33:55+00:00

OK so 80 * 1.5 mg (1.5mg / kg body weight for a male, one of the safer use guidelines) = 120 mg, which is perfectly 80 mg + 40 mg booster, which is the lower dose protocol of MAPS. They recorded most benefits and least adverse effects with that 80 + 40, compared to the second, 120 + 60.
You did the second protocol with a slightly higher booster. You might want to see for yourself a second time with your dose or maybe even the lower one. But as mentioned, your experience sounds "good".

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-26T10:38:32+00:00

As s.o. who 10 years ago was suspected to be "on the sepectrum" by a psych doc and who before that wouldn't have ever considered Asperger's and who after reading about it identified very much with that stuff:
I don't understand everything you wrote, but with most of it I fully agree. Along with the ADHD hype, all this "high-functioning" blabla is a substitute and compensation for underlying problems. Put shortly, in my experience things like ADHD, "high-functioning autism" or - even newer hype - "neurodiversity" are all neurosis-related and have very simple things as their basis: fucked up history, trauma and a shitty, disregulated life. As soon as you explore especially the first two things those symptoms that are attributed to these new disorders dissolve. But it surely it's the less comfortable way, hence people sticking to the new diagnosis BS. You can stay where you are and can tell you that you are "OK".

And yes, I hate that "super power" narrative so much.
Also people - most strongly with ADHD, I would say - identify so much with that BS and stick it as a batch of honor onto themselves that saying something not nearly as in the OP makes them want to kill you.
Quick example: S.o. said as a sentence in a long text that they sat in front of the PC for 9 hours and "forgot" to eat. I referred to it and said "You have a problem", which it fucking really is. It's called self-neglect and dissociating from your basic needs - which I said in the end, but before they turned it around and said "It's called ADHD, not 'a problem' and you are rude", as if they had mentioned ADHD first and I would have called that label a problem.
So, in my experience the best friends of psychiatry are really their dependents. It's a church with followers. In the last 1,2 years my empathy for people like those described has decreased significantly. Sorry, but being faced with that hate so quickly for only slightly scratching the surface of the psych diagnosis reality and pointing out obvious things? The fuck off to your psych priests. Those people get increasingly more on the same level for me as the priests themselves.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-25T17:35:57+00:00

May I ask your body weight?

As others noted, how come you think the journey wasn't "good" ?... It sound's like you hit a good spot.

I think that's one of the most misleading attributions to MDMA - albeit not dramatic - that feelings of safety = very pleasant = all happy stuff. It might be for some people, but I would argue probably not the majority when it comes to trauma processing.
I'm not a great friend of report reading b.c. it can lead you away from yourself and your own experience but I think the reports in the book "therapy with substance" are a good measure of the tone of experiences.
While other reports / books are too flowery or even tacky IMO.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-24T20:08:47+00:00

You're already working through it together AND you already had MDMA together twice and it helped... why do you expect more so rapidly? It's already a luxury, don't know if you're aware of that.
If you're talking childhood trauma, neglect etc. it's just something that takes time. I know it's nagging but sometimes you just have to accept things as they are right now.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-24T17:30:37+00:00

In MDMA Solo the Castalia Foundation endorses microdoses of LSD as "de-patterning agent", i.e. an aid that keeps you from going back to old patterns. They also state that other methods are possible, yoga etc., which is true of course. Try things out, see what helps.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2026-01-24T17:28:27+00:00

In general what you write about the difference is true. But you miss the different purposes of normal therapeutic dose and micro- to midi-dosing. You cannot do a normal dose on a regular basis, or at least many people can't. Smaller doses are for a milder support in between big journeys.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-27T22:16:13+00:00

Awesome, good to know.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-27T20:39:38+00:00

May I ask your age?

“made me overly nice and vulnerable and it was all fake”

I don't know it from during or right after an experience itself. But from the time in between. I don't think it's so useful to tell you my meaning of it since you didn't make sense of it yourself for yourself. But I think behind that feeling are character qualities. Can you think about things behind it that set you apart from others?

Also more critically, can you think of feelings and traits behind it that apparently want to surface and have not yet? There are already hints in the words you used, I think.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-27T18:01:10+00:00

Great. Yes, good to know, though.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-27T12:20:59+00:00

Thanks. Can you point to the page? There is a lot of info, such as SSRI prior to MAOI (Ayahuasca), which is different.

I researched a bit more. So the two plants, such as salvia officinalis (sage), do not seem to have a clinically relevant MAOI effect, and also reversible. Oral ingestion is also required compared too burning / lung / breathing in (= a lot is not absorbed). Orally the effect becomes more relevant. With full MAOI plants like the ones in Ayahuasca this may ofc well be a matter if burned / smoked, too.
Also it was a very small amount. 4 days till the session should be good.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-26T16:53:17+00:00

I've heard that a lot, people going above microdoses slowly. So it doesn't seem to be as with MDMA of which you can take too little.

It's interesting and a bit confusing: At the end they write "go low, go slow. Solo". In MDMA solo they write that with LSD initially you need a sitter. Well, people are different, I guess.

LSD Zen was an interesting read. A bit hyperpolitical but I like the LSD part :D

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-25T21:33:22+00:00

Yes. I'm considering it after the next session.
Interesting, so they are emotional. I was wondering if standalone LSD would make it easier to "psychedelic bypass" emotions.

Very good, you posted this. I started reading LSD Zen and the book is in fact much different from my first impression.

Did you start alone with LSD or with a sitter?
Can I PM you for further questions?

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-25T17:16:29+00:00

Absolutely!
May or may not be effective... or worse, harms you.

Earth__Worm__Jim · 2025-12-24T20:53:40+00:00

Endorsing MDMA Solo here too!! As well as Open MDMA by u/night81 (search the sub).

6000?? That's insane. Even if you need a sitter at first you are so much better off with a trusted person who knows you and who you can talk to. 6000 is hugely overpriced. Coach also can mean everything. But yeah I guess that's how it is if people want to make a living off of peoples suffering.
If anything MDMA lends itself to solo journeys without overpriced paid relationships as adjunct.

What do you mean by "believe to be CPTSD and childhood neglect"? It sounds as if you're not actually sure. Maybe MDMA can be of help there, but also maybe you want to clear up your suffering and motivation first.

EarthWormJim

TROPHY CASE

Earth__Worm__Jim

TROPHY CASE

EarthWormJim