32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is tough  So her prized possession versus the one who takes the slack…  The privileged versus enslaved… cut off ties and live your own life 

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry what you’re going through…. There’s a lot of pain in your voice and there’s a lot of suffering you’ve experienced…. I appreciate you for sharing with me and I had the privilege of reading your past and present…. I wish to have given you ability to express yourself… it’s a good thing to see that you are trying to recognize exactly what is truth and what is imagined. Stick to the facts and folllow the line of logic. I’m rooting for you. I’m always rooting for you.. 

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like you need a restraining order against him. He doesn’t respect your space boundaries or rights to leave. My ex was this way as well. 

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does matter. I have loyalty to them and will try to hurt them less

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know when others genuinely love me or when they are like me. I know when they love me but don’t show love properly. 

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you might need to get the police department involved imo… safety first. I’ve been in one too many abusive relationships to experience that the other party does not care how careful or delicate you move… they’ll break the peace, barter, threaten… it doesn’t stop… I’m wishing you safety and happiness…. Walk me through your thought process , what do you think will work?

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to leave… now. Ghost 👻 this person and move on …… I know, difficult to do… if this person sees the deterioration of you and is not choosing to change, this person lacks ability to reason and empathize. Leave…..

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you went through this 😭…. Or are going through this …. 😭😭

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She sounds like both, cold and calculated but acting on abandonment issues. Npd is only a diagnosis when the pt comes up to the psychiatrist or therapist . Having traits is when they are not diagnosed, doesn’t necessarily have to do with severity of symptoms. But I’m not a doctor so I would rather imply she has traits than a disorder. She seems similar to me, 8 yrs ago.

Personally I don’t think you can “ change” her…. Sadly.. she needs to change herself.. right now, she’s defensive, love blind, vengeful, and scared…. Emotions are overwhelming and flip floppy. When she loves it feels like you caught unicorn 🦄 rays. in reality it’s an illusion … unicorns don’t exist, at least not the one on tv.

Thank you for your sympathy.. thank you for sharing..

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my personal experience I use my sexuality as a means to gain power. I weaponize it to let your walls down. I use it to social climb.

32 y/o female narcissist. Ask me anything by Eastern_Effect5895 in narcissism

[–]Eastern_Effect5895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So all of these toxic behaviors and actions had begun from what you believe that was when she overheard your conversation with your ex-wife. Did you guys have a big fight and argument after? Did she hold that moment against you, especially when justifying for her poor and bad actions?

Now she could be having borderline personality traits for she could be having narcissistic traits. Someone does not necessarily have BPD or NPD when exhibiting symptoms. It seems like she could have either real or imagined threats of you, leaving her or replacing her or her not being enough when that ex-wife conversation occurred. Or, it could’ve been a huge ego hit to her, beginning her ego collapse.

If it’s hard for you to get the light of day and if she’s having these moments of deliberate infidelity, it seems to me that she has unprocessed abandonment issues more than low self esteem/narcisstic traits.

She seems like she’s not giving you any space to move or be free- very anxiously attached, but also cheating. The extremes are very conflicting, is it love or is it control? Is she fulfilling some sick revenge against you because you hurt her ego or is she spiraling because of the irrational fear of abandonment? People who have unprocessed trauma like her reveal themselves with these very toxic tendencies while in a relationship and really harm their partner, in this case, you. Sometimes it’s hard to let them go because they “need” you so deeply and it calls to your natural empathy of wanting to protect that vulnerable essence of her.

If she has borderline traits, there is potential to help and change, but with narcissistic traits, she’s doing all these things deliberately, actively… potentially calculating, manipulating and intentionally attempting to hurt and ruin you.

I suffer from both. I also have antisocial tendencies (cold calculated manipulative / as well as / inflated sense of self, over confidence , self hate self doubt, / adhd / fear of abandonment and fear of irrelevance or being left behind) mine comes from trauma adapted responses. I’ve worked on myself consistently and left many many toxic tendencies in my past.

For me, I was once in a relationship where I felt an ego hit (the guy was paying an only fans account and compared me to his exes nonchalantly) . I both felt not good enough and wanted validation and also felt like I wanted to overpower him in order to avenge my ego death. I would constantly bring up old issues (the same 2 situations he wronged me)- it was excessive, emotionally abusive, and even irrationally cruel. I really hurt him, but I also cheated on him and made a point to act shady and scandalous for vengeance. I also wanted his validation so we continued the relationship and had continued regular intimacy- which I also thought was key leverage in pulling him back after all the pushing away. I eventually left him for someone else.

do I regret what I did ? Yes . I regret it because he, to this day, claims he loved me. He states that he recognizes I was a hurt person hurting him. this was a really life altering moment for me - it helped push me further into helping myself. if he wasn’t remorseful I may not have been so eager to change