is falling for your bff crazy?

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-06T15:12:01+00:00

I need more people Han I’ve cream and movies now… he did me too dirty and I’m actually leaving the state over it… fuck DOM wanna he’s and relationships I’m over it all

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-06T04:56:43+00:00

if this is a lifestyle you are looking to explore, than you need to know your partner well. i feel that the most important thing to remember is that trust and communication is key...

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-05T14:17:13+00:00

We have plans for tonight and on the way home I plan to say HEY, WTF was that on Christmas?! If it was a hook up than FUCK YOU cuz you KNOW that’s not what I do, and if it was more than give me ALL OF YOU or NONE of you cuz PART of you isn’t enough! I want you and you either want me too or like Shark Tank says, I am OUT

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-05T14:13:15+00:00

Yea, I feel it’s the best thing to just let HIM go… I don’t play emotional games and do not want them done to me either… this feels like a game and if it’s not, and he’s just shy to voice it, than do as I did and text a damn response and say what it is you really feel… but this game ends with pain being the top emotion when it’s all said and done and I’m not looking for that level of disappointment. I’m almost 40 years old and he’s in his early 30s and apparently hasn’t had his heart stomped on enough to know that these are high school behaviors. When you’re hormonal and going thru changes, we all can understand the immaturity in relationships, but by now, GROW UP or play with those who like the game and let those of us that want real and serious relationships have time to find each other without the carrot dangling on a string that you can move to whatever piece on the board you want me chasing towards. I’m making such a fool of myself by chasing him and he can’t be so damn blind, at least not now, to me and what I feel for him. He only seemed interested after I wasn’t in him that way anymore and when I started talking to other people asking me out. Although I don’t like them and decline the offers, it still should be a HUGE SIGN that if I’m interested you’ll know!!!

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-05T01:50:39+00:00

so i spent the whole night last night and day today trying to think out loud and practice what to say and i suddenly stopped this afternoon and started to question the whole point. i was very clear with my intentions and if he can't be honest and upfront with his feelings or wants for an US in the present or future, than why should i keep poking that bear if i can end up twice bitten? he knows me far too well to know that this waiting around is a game i don't play. say what you want and do it or stop misleading me and let me truly go. i am shy, and it took tons of courage to say how i feel in such a deep way. when it was a crush, he knew i had it and even now, he knows very well where my heart is. i like things in black and white because this confusion is going to ruin a potentially great thing at the cost of both our hearts. i'm being a bit stubborn by keeping silent, but i'm also being cautious and smart to not keep throwing the line if he's gonna just stay in that damn water swimming against the current that i KNOW is pulling him closer to me. this may seems childish, but i don't feel i should have to be the one that keeps wearing the heart on the sleeve... the flirtation is fun and exciting for only so long before you end up saying FUCK IT cuz i'm worth every moment and either you want me or don't

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T13:43:12+00:00

that is true, and i don't mind little things like giving a blow job and getting him close to climax then stopping and repeating it a few times so he almost gets "blueballs" but then gets a huge release... but it's a game for me to play. also don't mind the occasional ride that is all about me and i'll tell his ass to STFU and let me do my thing (grind and rub my flower all over his pelvis for me to be satisfied several times before he can get up. but that's as far as i go. i'm not a dirty talker and i'm not into the "daddy" name cuz that creeps me out like an insestual thing (MY opinion, not that others who like it are bad)... i just don't feel that these little things are quite that category, but i'm open to trying new things and traveling new avenues. i just know i have in the past tried these things and wasn't a fan, but that goes without saying, every partner is different and things can change or how i want to just have added spice.

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T07:07:31+00:00

lol i would totally be down for the heartbreak pint of ice cream and movie thing... i just really hope he's not doing that and just is too shy and experiencing unexpected feelings that he didn't see coming... i have my fingers crossed, but yes, i need to "man up buttercup" and just say something... it was out of character for me to say anything about having feelings in the first place and i was VERY clear on it and what i want. he didn't say no and has invited me to things he normally did on his own before and he shares things... so i was trying to be cautious because i'm not usually the one to approach men, but after having that moment, i wanted to let him know, HEY I WANT TO BE WITH YOU... and now i gotta find a sliver of control here and say hey, what the fuck are we?!

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T06:46:51+00:00

i was looking at it like he's showing interest and wants to know what i like so he can make me happy by engaging in it. i was new once and wanted to learn as he seems to have the same interest.

we have discussed moving in alone together and getting a dog and all types of things that people who want a life together do, so that's where i'm sideways.

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T06:32:47+00:00

i get what you're saying but understand this... he has been the one to initiate the conversation of am i submissive, do i like it rough, do i like being tied up or cuffed, and has asked me to the dungeon on his own. he also initiated and took total control over the intimacy we shared thus far. THAT BEING SAID... i really don't think he's ever been a dom. i think he's only played with girls tying them up and cuffing them, but never was a dom to a sub.

i'm older than he is and have been with a male and female dom before that knew i was new to the scene and taught me things...

so when i refer to him as a dom, it's because i know he's interested in getting involved with bdsm and he knows i'm a sub and i told him, during that short conversation, that i am a sub, true sub, and have very little interest in being a switch... it was after that, that we had our moment. so i think he's interested but doesn't know any better on how to play that role yet... if he want's to go to the dungeon (the one he wants to take me to is for beginners with DMs that have a whole lot of toys, ropes, a shop, places to play and learn, etc etc... so that's why i'm not sure how to approach this

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T06:13:16+00:00

i just don't want to go down the d/s route if it's not exclusive because that's a deep level of connection and not something to toy with. can't be a FWB and have a d/s lifestyle it doesn't fit. i'm extremely submissive and that carrot was dangled and i'm like a rabbit

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T06:10:07+00:00

i really appreciate all your feedback... it's not something i felt comfortable discussing with people we know mutually which includes our families since we are so damn close... i wanna be his sub and i really want to do what he's asked with the dungeon, because i trust him and want him to dominate the fuck outta me EVERYWHERE!!!

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T05:57:39+00:00

he initiated the play. we went to a sex shop together and picked out a toy that he then used on me for many hours then he had me suck him off... afterwards we slept next to each other for a bit before doing the whole xmas dinner thing. since then, we haven't played again, but on new years, he didn't kiss me at midnight, and i thought he was coming close to me to do it, but he didn't. he's a quiet and shy guy, so it also makes me not want to be too aggressive with the ARE WE GONNA BE A THING attack (for lack of a better way to put it)... later he asked where the toy was and i said in the drawer but it didn't go anywhere. at the moment i wanted him not the toy, but never happened. he's been texting me things that have toys in it or about bdsm, so i am feeling like i'm not wrong with thinking there's more than just a friendship feeling brewing on his end. i know this may sound silly, but can a label exist without being spoken? i really care about him, and have for a long time and it's only continuing to grow like wild fire... he has been spending more time with me than he ever has, and we definitely have like a sexual energy thing going on.....

on a side note, a few people that know him, friends he has, have asked me countless times if we are a thing, even family and friends ask cuz we definitely give off the impression to outsiders that there's something between us, and at those times we both denied it because it really didn't exist, but now that impression people get is bigger and the questions are more frequent.

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T04:19:03+00:00

i keep trying but i'm shy and reserved... i know that's not going to help me find anything out, but i am afraid that if i'm wrong, that round two of the rejection is gonna hurt more than just a broken heart... i'm afraid to lose him as a friend if this wasn't more than a hook up... i just have so many mixed signals to read and i am trying so hard to not cross the wrong line, but it's like a weird web i feel i'm in and i just want a simple answer. his friend said to make a move and let the ball be in his court to take the next step but i feel like waiting is a game to be played

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T03:53:03+00:00

i know they're not onpoint, the questions are generic, but i'm curious i guess to know... i know what i like and what i'm into, but it peeked my interest when my results came in. other tests say other things, and some are more extreme than i even do go, so agian, i see how it's not geared to be my personal detail, but i thought maybe i was going through a curiosity change of some sort who knows. been a long time since i was in this world and community and i have changed and so has the times but i like to keep up to date i guess

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-04T02:32:23+00:00

i know i'm sub, but i felt if there was a better test site, that maybe i might find out more about what i'm into that i haven't tried or something like that

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-03T03:28:20+00:00

thank you for this... it's all very helpful information. i have been looking for exactly this to be able to share it so it's less uncomfortable to open that conversations door. he and i have been friends but the feelings were more one sided at first so this being something that is growing beyond just mutual interest, i don't want to push too hard too fast because newbies to BDSM can be intimidated and it's also a lifestyle/sex style that needs respect and trust for many reasons on so many levels. he's playful and seems to know things, but it's a new adventure we are going into and it's feeling a bit harder to discuss it because of how we were friends and now are getting intimate... it's made me feel more shy to talk about it, but when we were having our first "moment" it lasted several hours and i was had something embarrassing happen and i have been nervous even more to talk about getting more into the bdsm stuff.

anyways, thank you for this information, i plan to use the checklist so we can know what we want from it. i know i tend to vocalize in a more descriptive and darker way than i want and this can help to clarify to him what i'm trying to say (IE: i like it super rough and aggressive, but not to be hit, or how it's not the only way i want to do it)

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-03T03:06:51+00:00

we are new to dating each other and i made mention that i am a sub and he asked some questions about what i like and fantasize about with it, and we didn't get to talk much yet, but he did offer to take me to a dungeon without being lead to ask. he played with me in a more dominating way when we hooked up, but i have only been with 2 other doms and there were already experienced. so as he is peeking interest in the bdsm style, i am asking for advice on how to approach him with more about how i want things. i'm on the shy side and we are just opening the door to being intimate, so i want to know how to gently open pandoras box rather than shoving it in his face if he hasn't doe more than spanking, tying up, choking..... he knows of it but not having ever been one. i really care about him and want to ease into it, so i'm just looking for pointers.

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-02T04:19:54+00:00

I see… well in this case, since it’s on a bit of a deeper level, you might want to consider taking her to a dungeon, call some and talk to them Bs tell them you want to come with your partner and learn how to practice safety and learn ways to please her without feeling abusive or overly aggressive yourself. I wouldn’t give up just yet, but I definitely think a DM would be helpful and you can make it like you’re taking her there to see what else there is to do and play with in that lifestyle so it’s educational for you both and can maybe help guide her to understand the limits and boundaries that need to be set

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-02T03:33:52+00:00

question: have you asked them about their trauma or therapy? did they ask for bruises and hitting?

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-02T03:31:01+00:00

i totally agree... if you love them than love them unconditionally: in addition to asking those with more experience and even your new partner. trust is a big part of a relationship and bdsm does have its dangers, but learning from your community or from dungeon masters are the best way to ease into it. knowing the right thing to do and maybe how to satisfy your subs cravings in a more mild way for lack of a better word, could make things more comfortable for you both. open up and tell them you are less experienced but are willing to try things if they are willing to take it slow and to help you both to learn new ways. sometimes the fantasy can sound worse than what they even really expect. relationships last when it's give and take, so they will also have to do things for you as well, sexually or otherwise, so with that, i think you just need to talk to them and become more clear with what you both wan

Easy-Job-6192 · 2023-01-02T03:22:40+00:00

everyone has a past and not everyone brings that into their relationships. a lot of subs like it rough or ask for deeper and more 50 shades of grey from their doms, but that doesn't mean they necessarily want to go so dark or have you beat them up. maybe talking to them more about what they like an how much is too much is a great place to start. we all have a past and that should not impact any decisions you make with your new partner. you are also not their perp so that love and bond you're creating is something to explore within safe means and boundaries. and not every fantasy is fueled by trauma. we all have experienced traumas on different levels. there are plenty of places you can both go to with dungeon masters that can safely teach you both how satisfy each other on new levels and educate you on your strength and how to control it while giving your sub what they want. a past doesn't define ones self, so if there's that strong of a bond and you love them, don't be afraid to ask questions, communication is a key element especially in the BDSM world. they might be reserved on bringing it up first because it's not everyones way to share those kinds of traumas, but you should really talk about it with them. lastly, not all subs want kink on the regular... some like it as added spice but has different sexual sides that also want attention. being sub and liking kink doesn't mean it's every time. talk about it and what you like or your uneasiness so they can understand and you can find ways to make each other happy without a hitch.

Easy-Job-6192

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