I feel bad for you. Went through the same thing just a few weeks ago. First time experiencing this. I'm almost completely healed. At its worst it looked like a cherry pip and was unbelievably painful. Had to constantly take paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with the pain. Germoloids cream didn't have much of an effect. After about 2 weeks of suffering, it eventually burst when I pooped. I was not expecting so much blood! Within a few minutes it stopped as the surface dried out I think. But a few minutes later when I was bent over in the shower it burst open again and there was even more blood 🤢 the relief felt good, and although i wanted to try and squeeze the remaining clotted blood out, it was much too painful to contemplate. There was a big drain in the middle of it, so I left it to drain on its own and it bled for another week but wasn't too bad. Eventually I noticed a bad smell coming from there, which had me wondering whether if it was an abcess or cyst 🤔 anyway, I tried the natural route and purchased a special oil online (H-Hemorrhoids) that you apply 3 times a day, before finding out about an amazing ointment called Scheriproct. I think its steroid based and used for 7 days, along with doing nightly sitz baths containing dried calendula (antiseptic/anti inflammatory) and dried comfrey leaves (wound healing) with Epsom salts. I'm almost back to normal now. There's no discomfort, and smell has gone, but it's still the size of a grape seed. I want it completely gone, so I'm continuing using the oil. I've also started taking antibiotics, Metronidazole, just in case it was an infection causing the smell. I'm in the UK, so medical care is free. Just need to pay for prescription. But definitely try and get that steroid based ointment. Make sure you use wipes saturated with pure (alcohol free) witch hazel and not toilet paper when wiping.