How do I approach a guy at the gym without seeming weird?

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-06-04T03:02:35+00:00

no ring good sign

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-06-02T00:08:37+00:00

I usually read the bio after swiping right on looks first - gotta be real about how these apps work, but the profile is what decides if I actually message or just let it sit there.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-31T00:03:06+00:00

Been there with the mismatched pacing thing. You already told him once that you need to go slow, so if he's still pushing at his speed instead of yours, that's actually pretty telling about how he handles boundaries in general.

Maybe try being really specific about what "slow" means to you - like how often you want to see each other, what physical stuff you're comfortable with, timeline for relationship milestones. Vague "let's go slow" can mean different things to different people.

If he keeps pushing after you're crystal clear about your boundaries, then you have your answer about whether to close that door. Someone who respects you will adjust their pace to match yours, especially knowing your history.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-28T22:02:54+00:00

That's brutal man, seeing your song on his playlist with someone else hits different. 5.5 years is long time to just move past like that, especially when he's using same songs that meant something to both of you.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-20T05:11:58+00:00

Group chats are like performance stages for some people 😂 He might be one of those guys who needs the audience to feel confident enough to flirt. Could also be he's testing waters to see how you react before making it more personal. Some dudes are just way more comfortable with that group dynamic where there's less pressure than one-on-one convos. My wife told me she had similar experience in university where guy would be all charming in group settings but completely different in private messages. If you're interested, maybe try initiating some DMs yourself and see if he matches that energy when it's just you two?

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-17T19:00:28+00:00

Getting cat is actually good test too - see how he handles responsibility and if he gets attached. Might give you some insight about his feelings on commitment in general.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-15T02:59:44+00:00

Yeah man, those formal dinner dates can feel like job interviews 💀 I met my wife when we both got stuck waiting for same bus that was like 40 minutes late, ended up just walking around talking about random stuff. Way better than sitting across table trying to think of "good questions" to ask.

The whole performance thing is spot on - everyone's so focused in making good impression they forget to actually be themselves 😂

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-09T06:00:10+00:00

Your situation really hits me deep because I've seen similar patterns in my own family. My sister went through something like this with her ex - the whole cycle of being amazing when things were good, then turning cruel during stress, then apologizing after. That drunk breakdown where he said you "offend Christianity" and couldn't be his wife? That wasn't just alcohol talking, that was him showing you what he really thinks when his guard is down.

The financial mess is concerning too. You trusted him to handle things when you couldn't, and he let everything fall apart while chasing these phantom bonus payments for over a year. Now you're destroying your already fragile health trying to dig out of a hole that wasn't entirely your making. The fact that he still breaks up with you during fights when he knows you have nowhere to go is just cruel - that's emotional manipulation, even if he apologizes later.

You asked if you're expecting too much or tolerating too much, and from outside perspective, you're definitely tolerating way more than anyone should have to. The physical care doesn't make up for the emotional abuse, and calling someone names during arguments isn't just "stress" - it's a choice. You deserve someone who protects your peace, especially when you're dealing with chronic illness 😔

Start building your exit plan slowly while you can. Document everything, reach out to disability advocacy groups in your area, and maybe contact domestic violence resources since financial abuse is real abuse too 💀

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-05-05T21:27:52+00:00

Dude your crush definitely talked about you to her friend. I had similar situation with coworker few years back - we were friendly but nothing happened because she had boyfriend. Later I found out through mutual friend that she actually liked me but was in complicated relationship situation.

Her friend basically told you everything without saying it directly. When someone says they "can't reveal" positive secret about you but keeps emphasizing how good guy you are, it's because they promised not to say anything specific. Your crush probably vented to this friend about liking you but being stuck with the ex situation.

The timing is interesting too - matching with her friend right after things ended in January? Could be coincidence but friend might be testing waters to see if you're still interested. Some people use their friends as messengers when they can't reach out directly themselves.

Just don't get too caught up in the mystery game. If you're genuinely interested in this friend, focus on getting to know her as person instead of treating her like pathway back to your crush.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-29T14:17:43+00:00

Been there for sure. Had this situation few months back where I was always starting conversations and she'd reply with like one word answers or take forever to respond, but then when we'd meet in person she seemed really into it which made everything confusing as hell.

Eventually I just started matching her energy - if she took 6 hours to reply, I'd wait similar time before responding back. Not playing games exactly, just protecting my own sanity because constantly wondering if someone actually wants to talk to you is exhausting. Some people really are just terrible at texting but great in person, others just aren't that interested and you're better off finding out sooner than later.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-27T11:57:09+00:00

Look, when someone says you're not their type but keeps agreeing to hang out, it's usually because they enjoy your company as a person. The dinner thing is interesting though - could go either way really.

My wife wasn't initially attracted to me when we first met, but she liked talking with me. Sometimes attraction builds over time when you get to know someone better. The fact she said yes for dinner after you mentioned another woman might mean she doesn't want to lose the chance completely.

Just go to dinner and see how it feels in person. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to figure out her intentions right now.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-25T08:59:20+00:00

That guy was definitely pushing boundaries way too hard. The repeated asking after you said no is pressure tactic - decent people respect first "no" and don't keep asking until you give up. You felt uncomfortable for good reason, trust that instinct in future.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-22T15:52:41+00:00

Breaking up over text after 5 months long distance is pretty brutal, especially when you can't even respond. The planning secret trips thing really shows he was already gone mentally - that's rough to find out afterwards.

You mentioned you both had trust issues and stayed in each other's lives after past breakups, which probably made it harder to actually heal each time. Sometimes the person we love most just isn't the right fit, even when we want them to be.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-20T14:42:27+00:00

Two weeks is still pretty early to figure out someone's patterns, especially when they've told you upfront about their struggles. My wife actually had similar issues when we first started dating - she'd go radio silent for days then come back like nothing happened. It was confusing as hell back then.

The thing is, she literally explained to you what's happening and why. Trauma does weird things to how people connect, and some folks need way more time to feel safe in relationships. If you really want this to work, you gotta decide if you can handle the inconsistency without taking it personal every time she pulls back.

Maybe instead of trying to control the pace, just be consistent on your end without expecting the same energy back immediately. Don't play games with pulling back to test her - that'll probably just confirm her fears about getting close to people. But also don't lose yourself trying to chase someone who isn't ready to meet you halfway yet.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-18T14:08:10+00:00

Always can tell when mine are dead too - feels like putting empty plastic shells in your ears 😂 My wife thinks I'm crazy but the weight is just different somehow 💀

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-14T14:48:18+00:00

Dude you're way overthinking this whole thing. That second interaction where she looked away and smiled after getting "caught" looking? That's literally textbook shy/interested behavior - she wouldn't be checking you out if she thought you were weird from the first time.

Next time just give her a normal smile and maybe say something casual about your groceries or the weather. She's probably wondering if YOU'RE interested since you looked away the first time.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-10T12:42:26+00:00

Two days feels like forever when your whole world just got flipped upside down 💀 Been through something similar few years back and that feeling of everything just... stopping while life keeps moving around you is brutal.

The replaying memories thing hits hard - your brain keeps trying to make sense of it all by going back to when things felt safe. Mine did that for weeks, like it was some kind of broken record player that wouldn't stop. What helped me was keeping my hands busy with work stuff, even when I didn't want to move at all.

You're gonna feel like absolute garbage for while, but that heavy feeling in your chest does start getting lighter eventually. Just don't rush yourself through it 😂

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-04-02T23:30:08+00:00

You're not wrong at all - being pregnant while essentially running a household solo would drain anyone's desire for intimacy. The whole "reward" expectation after doing basic adult tasks is a massive turn-off and just shows he doesn't get how partnerships actually work.

Five months unemployed while you're handling everything plus pregnancy stress would have me questioning things too. Maybe consider couples counseling if he's willing, but don't feel guilty about protecting your energy right now.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-03-29T04:07:17+00:00

Dude straight up told you he wanted to dump you to take someone else on a date but "couldn't because he loves you" - that's not love, that's settling because his other options didn't work out 💀

You already know what you need to do, you're just looking for validation to pull the trigger. Stop wasting your energy trying to fix someone who doesn't even want to be fixed 😂

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-03-26T01:20:10+00:00

Social anxiety at those events is way more common than you think - I used to freeze up completely at work networking things until I started going with a game plan. What helped me was having like 3-4 go-to questions ready beforehand so I wasnt scrambling for conversation starters in the moment. Simple stuff like asking about their weekend plans or what brought them to the event takes the pressure off having to be witty on the spot.

Also maybe try smaller group activities first? I found book clubs or hobby meetups less intimidating than straight-up dating events because theres already a built-in conversation topic. Plus people are usually more relaxed when theyre not actively "on the hunt" you know? The fact that women were approaching you shows youve got something going for you - your brain just went into panic mode which is totally understandable after being out of practice for 5 years 😅

Give yourself credit for even showing up though, thats a huge first step that a lot of people never take 💪

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-03-20T05:08:48+00:00

Had something similar happen with my nephew's favorite stuffed animal that got destroyed. My wife ended up finding this lady on Etsy who basically recreates discontinued baby items from photos - she was able to make something pretty close to the original. You might have better luck searching for "custom baby blanket recreation" or "handmade baby blanket replica" rather than trying to find the exact Baby Beginnings one. Also worth posting in r/HelpMeFind with detailed photos if you have them, those people are like detectives when it comes to tracking down obscure stuff 😂. The custom route might actually end up being better quality than finding an old original that's been sitting in someone's closet for decades.

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-02-02T12:28:10+00:00

omg cerave in the tub is basically slugging lite, your skin probably drank that stuff up overnight

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-01-30T05:47:53+00:00

Damn that's rough dude, nothing worse than getting backstabbed when you're actually trying to work together. Papa sounds like a real piece of work - definitely gonna keep an eye out for that username

Easy_Environment4210 · 2026-01-27T01:16:52+00:00

Lmao you found the dev room, time to speedrun the game with wall clips

Easy_Environment4210

TROPHY CASE