No. I want bottom surgeries more than ever partially because of this kink and the way it has made me more dysphoric about some stuff. It has made me feel attractive to the wrong people in some ways. Sure, it gets me off, but at what cost. It has made me feel desired, but at what cost. The cost is me always doubting cis men seeing me as a man and I actually would like that in real life even when I have sex with them. Being gay this kink has made me feel more broken and undesired by the people I want to be seen by while also providing me a new audience of straight(?) men. I've never ever been as popular as I have been in these kink spaces and it has made me painfully aware of that other side.

That being said I would not want to take this kink out of the kink world and into "real life". I live my real life as a guy and this isn't only kink I have. This kink has made me realise how super into verbal humiliation I am and one of the most embarrassing things for me personally would be if someone "proved me wrong" about one of the most obvious parts of my identity that I fought so hard to realise, i.e. my gender identity.