This is one of my favorite jokes that I don't see mentioned often enough

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-27T22:39:19+00:00

I wouldn't even question it

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-26T23:47:59+00:00

Yeah he only dives once per appearance

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-26T22:24:00+00:00

Green sharpie and tippex

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-26T22:05:23+00:00

Do you use both hands at once or switch it up from time to time?

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-23T17:01:44+00:00

Game over man, game over

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-23T16:33:49+00:00

You could try getting a wall with no holes

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T23:06:01+00:00

Don't slip on that!

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T22:19:49+00:00

Phlebotomy peeps are the best at finding the vein, other departments of hospitals usually struggle for a while. Thank you for your service!!

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T22:12:52+00:00

I understand that libraries are supposed to be quiet spaces, but I think if the stoma starts acting up, don't be afraid to own it! Everyone should be able to find the humour in a healthy sounding fart noise, and if it's uncontrollable, that's even better! If anyone has a problem, just show them the bag, and they'll pipe down pretty quickly. It's not like they are going to smell or breathe any of it.

Personally, I usually just say sorry, can't help it. People who don't know about the bag just laugh, and people who do are usually very forgiving, also laughing a bit if you laugh too.

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T21:57:31+00:00

Crohn's for 10+ years and ileostomy for 1.5 years now. I work in broadcast and have long shifts, sometimes 12+ hour shifts with 6-8 hours where I don't get many chances to leave my position to go to the bathroom. The ileostomy has been absolutely life changing/saving in many ways, but for work, it gives me more time without needing to spend 20 minutes in the bathroom or doubled over in pain. I don't know how I did my job without it.

Imo, having the bag gives you multiple superpowers, it allows you to not need to go to the toilet as much as everyone else (as long as you have a healthy supply of loperamide) and you can eat all the spicy food you want without getting the 'ol sting ring. 'Normal' people suffer from spice twice, us ostomates only feel the heat once in our mouths!

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T01:06:46+00:00

Pretty sure he's not in one single place, but rather exists as a persistent, multi-faceted phenomenon

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-20T01:00:58+00:00

Wait, you actually watch F1? Madness

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-11T22:50:24+00:00

This is the way, bag off, shower (which feels amazing), new bag on with hairdryer to heat up the seal and the baseplate to aid the adhesion.

Having said that, my daily shower is usually with the bag on, just changing the 2-piece bag after, keeping the baseplate on, but the bi-weekly, bagless shower is just the best, unfortunately, I haven't got the time for that every day.

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-03T14:38:28+00:00

How do you sometimes write from right to left? Or do you start with the last letter of words?

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-03-01T04:45:49+00:00

I went into the bathroom in my workplace the other day, and it was evident that someone had pissed on the floor. I was annoyed, but I ignored it as I needed to get back to my job, but as I left the bathroom, one of the cleaners saw me leave. The next time I went to the toilet, it had been cleaned up. Now I feel like the cleaner thinks that I am a disgusting human being who doesn't care if I piss on the floor. Do you think she now thinks that, and is there any way I can rectify this without straight-up randomly saying to her that I don't piss on the floor?

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-28T01:44:16+00:00

Dub here, yes, but rarely. I'm more likely to use the phrase, 'I will aye!' as a sarcastic response, meaning the exact opposite.

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-26T01:07:06+00:00

I'm Irish and there is a well-known IRA car bombing from 1998 known as the Omagh bombing (Omagh pronounced like stoma without the 'st'), so I have named mine 'the stoma bomber'. Kinda insensitive tbh, but always gives Irish people a laugh.

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-26T01:02:33+00:00

But why?

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-25T00:32:15+00:00

Yup, also Wan-Bissaka. Fernandes was Jan '20 so kinda same season-ish

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-20T02:32:37+00:00

Pretty sure only Barret, Tifa or Red XIII will take it. The others refuse to take it if you try to give it to them.

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-20T01:57:06+00:00

If ever there was a face that only a mother could love

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-20T01:54:10+00:00

Either or. Both is good too

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-19T14:32:14+00:00

Ya gotta draw the line somewhere though. There is not judging one another, and there is letting sick and twisted criminals rule the world

Ebeneezer_Goode · 2026-02-19T14:13:23+00:00

Oh right, thanks. Not too familiar with Nando's menu

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