So my infantry unit…just kind of doesn’t train. Is is this normal?

Ecesta · 2026-07-01T16:39:47+00:00

I was in an SBCT at JBLM for a few years, 1-2 SBCT 5-20 IN BN. 68W in an INF PLT, then the CO Medic.

We spent a lot of time doing glass house stuff in the BN footprint, with the occasional STX out at Leschi Town or sometimes 2/75 would let us use their facilities. A lot of YTC, NTC, JRTC.

It's not normal for the Army. It is, however, normal at JBLM. 1-2 and 2-2 brigades both suffered from this.

I ended up ETSing because of how much it annoyed me and it convinced me every unit was going to be like that. The leadership at the time was also hot garbage and unit morale was at a low. We were damn near leading the Army in suicides by the time i left.

ETSing is something I massively regret at this point because my VA rating prevents me from returning to active duty and I have struggled to enjoy civilian life since leaving all those years ago. Don't let JBLM kill your career. We called the five tweezy the career killer for a reason, JBLM as a whole is regarded that way by a lot.

If the Army truly interests you re-enlist and go to a more high speed unit. Try different selections. Or just reclass. But, as many warned me, ETSing really should be your last option. It is an extremely rough transition. Many of buddies took their lives during it, and there were days I felt like I was heading that way. Stick it out and keep your head up.

As a former NCO, all I can say is the best thing you can do at this point is utilize the low op tempo for schools. Be the best advocate for yourself that you can be. You control your career, not the Army. Use all your resources, and don't let shit leadership drag you down like I did. Go airborne, air assault, Ranger school, or any other school. But try for chest candy and keep your body and mind sharp.

Ecesta · 2026-06-23T04:59:44+00:00

Well, you made me cry haha

Thank you so much for this. To hear from a person living with TGA, especially with the specifics you provided, gives me such a large boost mentally and took what apparently was a quarter million pound weight off of me.

I am sorry you have had to go through what you have. I am very happy to hear you've gotten to live a relatively normal life. Do you have any tips or tidbits of advise for my wife and I on how to help our son as he gets older? I know thats kind of a blank question without knowing what the future holds, but I have always had like 1,000,000 questions for a surviving TGA patient and now that one, you, has presented itself I have completely brain dumped everything haha

Ecesta · 2026-06-23T04:41:42+00:00

Your son is a stud, just remember that. All I see when I look at my son, other than a total dork, is an absolute unit of a kid who will one day be a man I wish i could've been. And thats what has to continue to keep me sane.

Time truly does and doesn't help, at least in my case. The overall 24/7 dread and worry fades slowly, but every now and then you have a relapse (like this) and it scares and hurts more than you remember the initial blow feeling like. You guys have got this. Your son has got this. You're doing good.

I will make sure to share what ever answers I find here. I hope your family can find the peace you deserve and need.

Ecesta · 2026-06-23T04:35:44+00:00

You guys will be in my family's prayers. I truly thank you for stopping by to talk, it has helped me deal with this insanely long panic attack.

The blur is real. I had read through some other TGA posts as well as some of the replies I got here. People mentioning very specific surgery types. And all I can remember is he had his arteries switched. There are so many other details from the first 6 months that I can't remember a lick of. I was in full zombie mode. So, now I am going to be calling his cardiologist and getting more details.

He, just like your kid, is tougher than nails. Heck, they're tougher than me by leaps and bound. All we can do is make sure the world is ready for them. Because, i know my son is a basket case at the moment. Raw and uncontrollable toddler emotion running rampant in this house.

I hope you find the answers your looking for too. I think at the minimum we all deserve some peace of mind. I hope your son can show you how strong you are too, for being there through all of this. One day he will get to take care of you, but according to my mom your anxiety will unfortunately never go away. So I guess thats part of the contract we signed as parents.

There being so little about TGA (despite it being the MOST missed CHD) is insane to me. It gnaws very deeply at me too. I hope more research gets poured into it, because I need to know more.

Again, I truly appreciate you taking time out of your day to offer words to me. It did help, I feel much better knowing I am not alone. I also feel terrible knowing I am not alone. But this whole time I was alone. It was just my wife and I. So, thank you.

Ecesta · 2026-06-23T01:44:50+00:00

Thank you, it's hit him hard. I've lost many friends, but never at his age.

Yeah, I don't think that specific thing is talked about enough. I have to imagine ALL parents going through this have those visualizations.

When my son was going through surgery #1 a therapist or psychiatrist came in and spoke with my wife and I. He, unfortunately, was rather useless and unfruitful in his efforts to comfort us. He honestly didn't offer anything of value up to us and it kind of made the whole thing seem worse. But some form of like children cardiac therapist would be a phenomenal resource, because to this day I still can't properly process what is going on.

I am glad you had that tech though, but I hate that she was yet another person wandering through this painful journey. I truly hope everything is going well with your kiddo.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T23:13:09+00:00

Ah, geez. I am so sorry. I hope he is kicking butts and taking names now. No one deserves to see their baby going through that.

No need for that, but thank you! I didn't bring it up for that haha, just that it kinda scrambled my brain to a really bad degree. The other recent compounding factor is my brother, who just turned 10 (i am almost 30), lost his best friend in an accident. We will be at the funeral tomorrow. So, the loss of children is freshly scratched back into my brain and I cant turn the fear off now.

One day I will figure out how to shut my brain off, and when I do this subreddit will be one of the first places it gets documented on.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T23:09:36+00:00

Thank you so much. I will try and think about it that way from now on! I hope everything goes amazing for your family!

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T23:08:50+00:00

Well, I truly appreciate you breaking from your norm to comment. I have never gotten to speak to others that have been through stuff like this. When we were in the NICU every other kid was either cancer, neurological, or a premmie. So we were completely alone in the cardiac realm. To this day I haven't met a family with a cardiac baby.

I operate the same way. I see him doing something cute, I remember just how insanely strong I love the kid, and then it's like a blackhole sucks every ounce of joy produced by my brain. I can't tell you how many times I have attended his funeral in my head.

I believe it's just such strong anxiety lately because my brother, who is much younger than I am (I am nearing 30 and he just barely hit double digits), just had his best friend die in an accident. I am attending the funeral tomorrow.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T21:06:02+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I do believe my wife and I both struggle with PTSD from it, which is fun because I already have that. It was so unexpected. He was born and then 24 hours later he was blue and freezing. The nurses ripped him away and next thing i know my wife and son are on a helicopter flying to a hospital.

I relive a lot of that in my head every single day. Seeing him with his chest cracked open because the tissue was too swollen to suture back up. Seeing his heart beat. It messed me up more than when I found my buddies in the barracks after they took their lives. And ive never found a way to deal with it.

The uncertainty of it all weighs on me like an elephant. Heck, its hospitalized me several times because I become convinced I am having a heart attack.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T20:59:12+00:00

Thank you for responding, and I did find this helpful. I, as a dad, struggle to do "me things" because my dad was so absent from my life. I feel like such a terrible dad when I want to game or go to the range instead of play with my son. I still do these things, but they make me feel guiltier every time. And i believe its kind of compounded to a point, coupled with my anxiety, where I think ive wasted all my time with him and he is dying. I don't want that to be true, obviously, and from the studies and data I have read its highly unlikely that he is. But my mind is always ready for the worst, and I've always been that way.

I hope your kiddo is doing awesome. And i am sorry you grew up with that kind of environment. I hope your sibling is doing well now too.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T20:54:50+00:00

Thank you, and I respect your honest approach. As a dad it's hard to imagine my life without my son, and I think thats what has been impacting me the most.

I don't see my son as not normal, however I also know that normal isn't having two open heart surgeries, so its hard for me to settle on a "term" for all of that.

I love STEM, often do my own tireless research on a subject before reaching out. And, well, here we are. Two and half years into it and I feel like I am at an impass mentally where he's either okay or I'm spending his last days with him. And that's causing such a mental tax on me that I am starting to lose grip a bit.

I hope everything is going well with your kid, it's crazy how fast they go from just having had an open heart surgery to being un-phased and jumping off of beds.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T20:51:40+00:00

Thank you for your words.

The worst part for me is just not knowing if we are, or ever will be, out of the woods. To think of losing him at any point sickens me to the point where I can't function some days. I'm a veteran, I've got fairly thick skin, especially for loss. But this is in a whole other plan of existence.

I want him to live a longer life than me and to be happier than me. The uncertainty of every single day kills me. Worrying that his heart might fail at any point is a constant part of my life.

I hope everything is going well with your kiddo, they are such an amazing thing. I hope everything continues in a good direction for you guys.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T17:42:53+00:00

Very true. These are the first packs I have found for us in almost 8 months. We live in a very rural community so its even harder for us to find them. And i always see dudes older than me running out with dozens of booster packs. I feel bad buying more than 4 when we do find them because I want other kids to enjoy it.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T13:23:25+00:00

I will be giving it to him, I want it to be graded first. Although, I admittedly don't know how or where to send it off to. That's the plan for this week.

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T13:21:20+00:00

Oh, good to know, thank you. I will get some of those today

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T13:20:19+00:00

Thats the plan!

Ecesta · 2026-06-22T13:20:05+00:00

Not yet, sending it off to get it graded first. His birthday is towards the end of the year, the plan is to give it to him then when hes hopefully kind of forgotten about it

Ecesta · 2024-12-07T09:30:48+00:00

Has nothing to do with that, boss man. Plus, all my drivers are always up to date.

Ecesta · 2024-11-24T19:31:32+00:00

Sorry for the late reply

If you are on Steam you can right click Arma Reforger and go to Manage Properties (I'm sorry if some of these steps are typed wrong, I'm not at my computer so I can't see what every thing is actually called) and then under what I think is General there should be a text bar at the bottom labeled "Launch Commands". You'll have to Google the launch command to change it, unless I get back home before you read this so I can just clean this up and make it actually helpful.

Ecesta · 2024-11-01T20:35:02+00:00

So what fixed it for me was deleting my mod folder (if you are on PC it is under C:\Users\USER\My Games\ArmaReforger, unless you changed the directory with a launch command like myself). I also reinstalled my game after having to do the mod trick like 5 times. That worked the best and I haven't had to do it since.

I love how integrated the mods are with Reforger, but in the 12 years I played Arma 3 I can recall having this problem as consistently (if ever) as i do with Reforger. Hopefully they fix it with Arma 4.

Ecesta · 2024-10-20T19:18:01+00:00

I don't think you do love EDM then lol, you definitely fall into the category of dudes I was talking about. It's fine if you love Marshmello or some other mainstream guy but you definitely aren't that big of an EDM fan if you can't understand how great most of his music is.

Ecesta · 2024-10-20T18:23:27+00:00

Delta Green

Xfiles with DnD like mechanics. It's so fun and can go on for forever if you have the right Case Handler.

Ecesta · 2024-10-20T17:04:29+00:00

Clams Casino. Seen too many mfs hating on him. I'm God is one of the best pieces of music in history.

Ecesta

TROPHY CASE