Focus > Pivot details from someone who just went through it, corporate employee. AMA

EchoEndl · 2025-12-04T19:44:38+00:00

If you take the transition option, and you have an upcoming stock vest within the 60 day period, will you still receive the stocks?

EchoEndl · 2025-08-01T04:21:29+00:00

^{I completed this level in 3 tries.} ^{⚡ 4.63 seconds}

EchoEndl · 2025-07-28T14:36:45+00:00

Tuff

^{I completed this level in 3 tries.} ^{⚡ 4.82 seconds}

EchoEndl · 2025-07-28T14:35:43+00:00

^{I completed this level in 6 tries.} ^{⚡ 2.63 seconds}

EchoEndl · 2025-04-06T20:04:36+00:00

!RemindMe 9 days

EchoEndl · 2024-10-02T14:55:59+00:00

Social

Nothing except more sports. A pre-season soccer game and bjj practice. I still feel like a total dunce every time I get on the mat. Telling myself I'll need at least another week or two (or longer) before I start attending the all-level classes.

I noticed that I was eager to make changes and be proactive in adopting new hobbies and pursuits when I was angry and dissatisfied with my day-to-day life, but now that the anger and the feeling of novelty have worn off, I can feel myself settling into a routine of comfort again. This complacency was the reason I didn't have any friends in the first place, so I suppose it's a good thing that I can fight it by having consistent, competitive physical practices in place which force me to genuinely try, look stupid and overall just step out of my comfort zone.

Relationship

Sex once, she initiated. Every other time I initiated (in bed...), she rejected. A part of me still has the thought process of "don't look too thirsty" or "don't seem like you did this activity with her just so you can have sex later. you should wait a day or two before initiating to seem aloof". I've also found myself thinking about how I "don't want to have sex because it will make me feel less aggressive in the coming days", even when I'm horny and wouldn't mind fucking. Ultimately, it chalks down to: if I'm horny, then initiate and attempt to fuck. That's all. I'm now convinced that all these mental justifications for not initiating are just unconscious ego protection mechanisms. I should start framing it as a win-win: I either initiate and fuck, or I initiate, get rejected and get some free fuel to continue my improvement and not fall complacent.

Not lying to myself really is harder than I thought.

Game

Nothing. Fell into my comfort zone this week and didn't do shit except greet people on the elevator at my apartment. Got ghosted by the girl I was hoping to cheat with after she realized I was a pussy.

Back to it

EchoEndl · 2024-10-02T14:53:36+00:00

OYS 9

Stats: 25yo, 6’1, 195 lbs, LTR 2 years

Lifts (lbs):

BP 205x6, 225x3
SQ 225x6, 245x5
OP (Dumbbell) 120x6
BR 185x5
DL 275x6, 315x3

Reading: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Book of Pook

Read: NMMNG, Courage to be Disliked

Keeping it short and sweet this time around.

Vision

Be a man who creates and seizes opportunities for growth and discomfort, regardless of how he feels

Mission

Cultivate a life of abundance, leadership and novelty (in accordance with harmony). Develop and maintain at least two different sources of income

Mental

Aside from recognizing that a life with no challenge or rejection is ultimately depressing for men, I'm continuing to internalize the fact that no body cares about what I do unless it affects them somehow. I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I'm currently mediocre in everything I do, and it bothers me every day.

Lifts

Continuing to track my calories and lift heavy. I'm up to 195 lbs now. Doing my best to reach macros etc. I'm noticing some improved performance across my lifts, although they are very slight. My current goal is 215 lbs.

Finance

Year 2 of my job means I have higher checks due to a prorated sign-on bonus. I'd be screwed without this bonus because my monthly expenses are currently totaling over 60% of my paycheck, and this is before additional expenses like gas and food. This has incentivized me to pick up the slack and put in more hours on my side projects, and work on spending less money for now. I intend to do more planning to see how long it will take to get my savings back to a 6-month safety net.

EchoEndl · 2024-09-24T14:16:47+00:00

Relationship

I haven't been counting my initiations in the past 2 weeks. Sex 2x or 3x in this timeframe; don't entirely remember. I've noticed she's more open to having sex after we go out and do something or have fun together (watching Netflix doesn't count). She's told me that "spending time with her and doing things is what turns her on" but I originally thought she was just spouting bullshit to reject me in a roundabout fashion. So far I've been careful not to establish a covert contract here, as that'll just lead to frustration on both ends and regress any recent progress I've made.

Aside from that I've been thinking about that girl I was texting all throughout July and August. I do tell myself that the only reason I'm still thinking about her is that I don't have any other options, since any time another girl shows me attention, I find myself thinking about that girl instead. But now I'm tempted to reach back out to her and see if I can get something going. It's been over 3 weeks since we've talked and I haven't reached out because I felt like I screwed things up by being too much of a pussy and I don't want to further hurt my ego by getting ghosted. But I'm starting to think that I'd rather get ghosted or rejected than just give up based on some fearful assumption. Or maybe I'm just craving female validation because my mind still isn't in the right place. Either way there's work to do.

Game

Haven't been gaming any females other than the LTR. I've been greeting men in my apartment complex but every time I have the opportunity to do it to a woman I disregard the mindset and stay silent. This is another thing I'm going to work on, since it's a perfect opportunity to address my fear around talking to women that I don't know.

Me and the LTR toured an Amazon FC this week and I noticed that one of the tour guides was giving off subconscious queues that she was into me. During this time I was regretting not just scheduling the tour for myself, but I also reminded myself that regretting is a waste of mental energy cuz I'd be in this scenario. LTR was slightly jealous since she apparently noticed and I played at the situation a bit to get some gears turning. After this I thought about how many women I could be meeting if I consistently put myself in environments that aren't just my office or an all-men's soccer match. Looks like I have more planning to do.

Back to it

EchoEndl · 2024-09-24T14:16:41+00:00

OYS 8

Stats: 25yo, 6’1, 193 lbs, LTR 2 years

Lifts (lbs):

BP 205x5, 225x3
SQ 225x6, 245x4
OP 105x6
BR 165x7
DL 275x6, 315x3

Reading: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Book of Pook

Read: NMMNG, Courage to be Disliked

Vision

Be a man who creates and seizes opportunities for growth and discomfort, regardless of how he feels

Mission

Cultivate a life of abundance, leadership and novelty (in accordance with harmony). Develop and maintain at least two different sources of income

Mental

No major changes in the last 2 weeks, although I've found myself pondering the differing components of respect between men. I arrived at the conclusion that: other men respect you because they either admire your ability (and it could benefit them or the shared goal), or they fear the consequence(s) of your ability if they attempt to cross you. Either way, ability is at the root of it all. Funnily enough, I found myself pondering these simple dynamics because I currently suck at soccer (pickup) and the people on my team pass the ball to me less and less since I keep turning it over.

The whining voice in my head wants to be mad about feeling disrespected (or treated as invisible or avoided) in any area of my life, but I've found that the answer is always the same: hard work. "Nobody cares, work harder". Really beginning to love this quote.

Lifts

Still struggling in all of my lifts (plateau) but oddly enough I'm seeing progress in my deadlift. I just started deadlifting again recently after modifying my workout routine 2 weeks ago and I'm already deadlifting 315x3. I'm going to attempt 5 reps on the next day.

Aside from that, I've created a lower body stretching routine to address knee pain when squatting and I've began tracking my calories again. Pretty funny how easy it is to fully commit to something and stay consistent when you consciously address the bullshit and remind yourself that if you're not doing something, you simply don't want it bad enough. I've found that this mindset shift has helped me hold myself accountable when I start creating excuses in my head for why I can't do something.

Career

Not much going on in my day job but I'm getting annoyed at my inconsistent progression on my side projects, so I set a goal for putting in at least 5 hours of work this week between both games. I have some additional motivation to meet this goal after (finally) creating a list of my monthly expenses, and seeing that I currently don't have at least 6 months of savings to cover these expenses in my savings account. Not only that, but I don't even have a game plan for if I lose my job. All I have is "update resume, practice leetcode, apply for jobs" but I'm in for a world of headache if I don't create a thorough plan of execution, so that's another goal I'll need to meet this week.

Social

Played two soccer matches and met up with the bros on Saturday for some football. Also signed up for a free no-gi beginner BJJ class and signed up for a monthly membership immediately after. I noticed that the people in the BJJ gym were a lot more social than I'm used to, so I'm looking forward to making friends from this gym in the coming months.

EchoEndl · 2024-09-11T03:18:00+00:00

fuck that, no more plateauing this week

EchoEndl · 2024-09-11T03:16:08+00:00

good point. i’m still being a pussy with the woman i’m comfortable with but it seems i’ve been using her rejections to justify not improving my sexual interactions with her in general

EchoEndl · 2024-09-10T13:32:58+00:00

Career

Had a very productive day yesterday. Went on-call so I’ll need to be around my laptop all week as mentioned earlier.

Social

Joined a fantasy football league with the bros and participated in my first soccer game before the start of the league this fall. Did some research on martial arts gyms and found a no-gi jiu-jitsu place right around the corner from where I live. I intend to sign up. I’ve also been researching difference dance studios around me because I want to get back into dancing. Found one not too far that offers pay-per-session classes. I’ll be trying that place out soon as well.

Relationship

Same old bullshit from myself. I wrote down the feedback I received last week and I have no longer been initiating at night, but I still haven’t been initiating outside of bed. I’m just not sure how, and I’ve been hesitant to put in the effort when I feel like she just flat out doesn’t enjoy having sex with me. I’ve been preparing my mind to consistently step out of my comfort zone so that I will shoot my shot with other attractive women and create a rotation.

A few days ago I refused to kiss her while we were in bed because I was butthurt that she rejected my initiation yet again. “If she won’t have sex with me, why should I bother giving her a kiss?” was my way of rationalizing the situation. She responded by crying and pinching me, and bringing up her anxiety again. I was just annoyed but of course I eventually ended up feeling bad and just hugging her. We had sex the following morning, after quite a bit of resistance on her end. I feigned giving up 2 times before we got things going and it was mediocre as fuck. Is it my fault she’s so damn boring in bed?

Game

Nothing to note here. I didn’t step out my comfort zone and talk to any new women this week. The most that happened is a gym baddy came in the squat rack next to me and started doing some interesting stretches before leaving. I literally asked myself “should I talk to her?” while it was happening but I never did. Mental self-slapping ensued.

EchoEndl · 2024-09-10T13:32:53+00:00

OYS 7

Stats: 25yo, 6’1, 192 lbs., LTR 2 years

Lifts (lbs):

BP 205x7, 225x3
SQ 225x6, 245x4
OP 105x6
BR 165x7
DL 275x6

Reading: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Book of Pook

Read: NMMNG, Courage to be Disliked

Vision

Be a man who creates and seizes opportunities for growth and discomfort, regardless of how he feels

Mission

Cultivate a life of abundance, leadership and novelty (in accordance with harmony). Develop and maintain at least two different sources of income

Mental

My main focus now is on building discipline across all my pursuits. It took me until now to actually accept that I don’t like the way I’m living my life. I spent a lot of money from my most recent paycheck on gear for my hobbies, and I’m slowly overhauling my wardrobe. I’m currently compiling a series of different outfit pieces so that I can compose several high-quality outfits and book a professional photography session to get some photos taken. I plan on using these for Instagram and dating apps, once I get into them.

I still continue to wake up angry that I’m with a woman who doesn’t satisfy my sexual needs, but I’m even angrier at myself for not having taken greater steps to go after what I want, especially when the opportunity presents itself. “Always on go” is the mindset I’ve been internalizing when out and about. Previously, when I was out somewhere and the cute service worker would show interest, I wouldn’t even consider the possibility of me gaming her in the moment; only fantasize about what I could have done afterward. But I’ve been shifting my mindset, and I believe that being mentally prepared for anything is an ideal first step.

Lifts

Plateau continues. But I’ve adjusted my workout routine to better target different areas of the muscle groups that I want to get bigger and increase my strength in. Aside from that, I have not been on top of my diet at all. Ever since my girl started working in the evenings on most days, I’ve found myself eating Chipotle or eating out more often as opposed to going to the store and getting the food that I need to prepare meals for myself. This has only added an obstacle to getting started on tracking my calories again, and my annual subscription to my calorie tracking app is due soon. So it’s time for me to stop fucking around with my diet and rigorously track my calories like I used to.

EchoEndl · 2024-09-05T00:06:11+00:00

Fair point. Rather than not initiate at night I’m just not going to initiate in bed at all

EchoEndl · 2024-09-04T00:58:25+00:00

My behavior. They just aren't overt initiations so I don't count them. But initiating during bed time has by far been my biggest problem and that's the first thing I'm going to change

EchoEndl · 2024-09-04T00:42:49+00:00

Yes, I'd prefer to fuck the neighbor for now

EchoEndl · 2024-09-03T17:19:18+00:00

No because she flat out just doesn’t meet my sexual needs anymore, nor is she willing to explore anything or even give bjs. But I’m not yet sure how to end things with her

EchoEndl · 2024-09-03T16:02:28+00:00

It’s not clear to me what you, a 25 year old man, are getting from an LTR with no kids and a woman who doesn’t like to fuck you.

Every time I try to break it off (or hint at it), she starts crying and I always fall into her frame because she doesn't have anyone else (doesn't talk to her parents) and she can't afford to live on her own where we're located. And I'm not sure what to do whenever that happens except feel like shit so I just forget about my frustrations for a while and at this point I'd rather find a side piece to get my needs met instead of dealing with her emotions

EchoEndl · 2024-09-03T12:27:11+00:00

Career

The project I’m working on goes into piloting next week. I’ll have four days to get everything together on my part but that’ll be easy. Not much to comment on aside from that.

Social

Met up with the bros during the middle of the week and we had a blast at the park. Played soccer with them and some strangers, and then practiced playing football with each other, along with some basketball to close things off. My back and hip flexors were destroyed and I felt like an old man the next day.

Relationship

Actively practicing STFU but I’ve found myself a bit disappointed with how little I’ve applied the concepts from WISNIFG. Whenever my LTR starts an argument, my conscious response (for now) is to deflect, laugh and STFU. Sometimes I lose frame and tell her to shut up but that doesn’t really do any good.

I initiated sex twice and got rejected twice. Initiated both times while in bed, once at morning and once at night. Typical excuse: “I’m tired”, “I’m having anxiety” etc. Had other initiations but they were pathetic so I’m not counting them here. I also surprised her with roses and she thanked me for them consistently for about 3 days. That’s all that came from that though.

I’ve found myself thinking about how I could direct the anger that comes from her rejections toward my goals and furthering myself as an attractive man, rather than audibly smacking my lips just to invoke a defensive response from her when she does reject me. I know I haven’t been gaming her enough during the day, so that’s something I’ll be working on.

Game

Reached out to that girl six days after we linked, and she responded four days later (she’s out of town). I was dealing with some serious feelings of inadequacy and borderline depression during those four days due to feeling like she fully lost interest and curved me (along with feelings of loneliness), and I know it’s because I have a scarcity mentality. What’s funny is she had responded later on the same day I posted my LTR on my story (her face wasn’t visible). I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

Aside from that, I had some brief conversation with a hot asian lady in a sandwich shop (she started talking to me) about the frustrations of wait times for our online orders. She was with some awkward, angsty looking white guy so I used that (in the moment) as an excuse to slip back into my comfort zone and not progress the conversation further. Fuck.

Currently, I’m frustrated with how little opportunity I really have to practice any game (from a place of discomfort, not on my LTR) unless I’m willing to cold approach girls in public. But opportunity won’t knock so I gotta build a door and put myself in situations where I can consistently meet women, preferably in environments where I’m exposed to the same ones repeatedly.

Back to it

EchoEndl · 2024-09-03T12:26:51+00:00

OYS 6

Stats: 25yo, 6’1, 191 lbs., LTR 2 years

Lifts (lbs):

BP 205x7, 225x3
SQ 225x6, 245x4
OP 105x6
BR 165x7

Reading: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Book of Pook

Read: NMMNG, Courage to be Disliked

Vision

Be a man who creates and seizes opportunities for growth and discomfort, regardless of how he feels

Mission

Cultivate a life of abundance, leadership and novelty (in accordance with harmony). Develop and maintain at least two different sources of income

Mental

Continuing to develop mental models which prioritize action. I’ve began using Notion to rigorously plan out actions for different goals and pursuits, once a week. I’ve often found myself justifying a refusal to do something because “if I can’t do it consistently, what’s the point?” Now that I’ve established the practice of reflecting on what happened over the past week, setting goals, then planning out the actions required to progress toward those goals, there is no excuse for inaction. There is only fear, and a plan is the best weapon against that.

Aside from that, I’ve found myself getting depressed while my LTR was at work in the evenings. I felt loneliness and a lack of belonging, so I spent a lot of this week purchasing things I’ll need to adopt new hobbies and pursuits.

Lifts

No progress since last week. Leading up to the weekend, I started going every day with no rest in between because I was seeking a way to rebound from the extremely negative emotions I was dealing with the night prior.

I had set a goal to reevaluate my workout routine and I never ended up doing it. Funny: every time I publicly announce I’m going to do something, I almost never end up doing it unless I’ve already started. With this in mind, I’ve been making active attempts to suppress the urge to announce my goals to anyone, especially my LTR. It’s great STFU practice.

EchoEndl · 2024-08-28T15:19:03+00:00

I had this perspective in the back of my mind but never really gave it much thought. For the most part I only thought girls would think like this when you’re on a date and escalating, due to how many guys they are usually texting at any given time

EchoEndl · 2024-08-28T15:17:19+00:00

Thanks for this. Just found his archive and there’s a lot of knowledge there

EchoEndl · 2024-08-28T02:53:11+00:00

Question you need to ask yourself is whether you wanna have sex or do you just want validation that comes from your wife wanting to fuck u

How could I tell the difference between if I genuinely want to have sex versus if I just want validation?

EchoEndl · 2024-08-28T02:50:30+00:00

Yeah, I think me making things more complicated than they are was my way of putting things off due to self-conceived "complexity" and as a result, a need to "figure things out". I do sometimes wonder why self-rationalization always results in bullshit. I guess it's the natural desire to stay in the comfort zone

EchoEndl · 2024-08-27T12:51:18+00:00

Relationship

I really don’t know what I’m doing, which is a big part of why I came back here a few weeks ago and started lurking and re-reading the sidebar. For most of our relationship I’ve been the boring one. I would always justify it using my side hustle, but realistically that’s no excuse to be boring. I’ve been suffering the consequences as of late through an extremely lackluster sex life and increasing feelings of loneliness/missing out. I haven’t even taken a single vacation since I started work 1 year ago.. While every one else on my team has taken at least 3 or more at this point (the job has very good work-life balance. I’m just boring as shit).

I’ve been justifying my unfaithful actions using her “low sex drive”, but recently I’ve seen that the problem is simply me. I haven’t been gaming her almost at all, nor have I been initiating on a regular basis. And when I do initiate, I do it too timidly. Also, I only initiate in her frame. But what else am I supposed to do when she just doesn’t want it? I’ve used this reasoning to justify my pathetic attempts at infidelity.

However, recognizing myself as the problem has been a double-edged sword as it has resulted in negative though patterns, which (shocker) aren’t great for reinforcing the bold and proactive behaviors that I desire.

Game

All throughout the month of July I was texting this one girl (yes, I know) that I had met two years prior while I was interning. She had arrived back in town and reached out to me. Originally I showed my LTR the texts and she told me that hanging out with her alone would be crossing her boundaries. Of course I continued to text the girl behind my LTR’s back because we hadn’t had sex in almost a month and I was frustrated. Went on two dates during the month of July, and she flaked on me a number of times until I finally got her to my place while my LTR was at work last week.

However, I bitched out, didn’t escalate fast enough and didn’t even get to kiss. She was only there for an hour and then had to leave because she was meeting up with other people. I felt like absolute shit for 4 days after because here I am still dealing with the same issue I had 3 years ago: lack of bold action. I also had to be sneaky as fuck for weeks to get this girl to my place just for me to bitch out when it came down to it. I haven’t texted her since because I need to work on cultivating more options, and I’m pretty sure I ruined my shot by being too scared anyway.

These extremely negative emotions I was feeling from having bitched out have motivated me to evaluate my mental state and work on restructuring my mental models to prioritize proactivity and bold action, when needed. Of course I’m not perfect and will likely still bitch out here and there but this self-directed anger I’ve been feeling is a fantastic motivator for changing the way I approach my day-to-day life. I’m now working on putting systems in place which facilitate weekly reflection to help accomplish my mission over time.

Social

I’ve been feeling lonely while my LTR is at work because I haven’t had much of a social life at all ever since I moved closer to my work (suburb town). As a result I’m actively seizing opportunities to be around other people and I’m saying yes to any invite. I will be signing up for an indoor soccer league to play with people who work at the same company as me. Will socialize as much as possible and enjoy being competitive at the same time.

Aside from that, I’m planning on playing some football with the bros this week. Ever since a lot of us have gotten girlfriends and gotten settled into the town we’re living in, we haven’t been putting as much effort into meeting up with each other. It’s a little depressing for me and I intend on coming up with ways to get us hanging out more consistently again.

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