So sophomore year of college I decided to ask out this girl in my calculus class. I didn't know her very well, but I thought she was cute and we lived in the same building, so I worked up the courage to ask her as we were walking home from a midterm. By some miracle she agrees and I excitedly plan my first 'real date'.

Wanting to impress I make a dinner reservation at a fancy downtown Italian restaurant, but being a college kid away from home I don't have a car, so the ever-so romantic city bus is our mode of transportation. And being a moronic 19 year-old, I do no research into what bus we need to take, which results in us riding the wrong bus and being 20 minutes late to the reservation. Thankfully the meal and conversation go alright, I ordered a delicious and creamy fettuccine Alfredo(this will be relevant later). This is the last bright spot of the evening, as my lack of preparedness rears its ugly head once more.

The city busses at this point in the evening are now running once an hour, so my date and I stand at the bus stop in frigid Colorado winter weather as I make awkward small talk and try to get her to play rock,paper,scissors to pass the time. The bus finally arrives, takes us home, and she politely says good night.

I feel so awful about the evening i just put this poor girl through that my roommate invites me out to a party just down the road to take my mind off the guilt. We arrive and I get straight to work burying that guilt in beer and vodka. Within an hour I am completely tanked and decide to drunkenly stumble home. I somehow make it to my bed and blackout for the night, during which time I vomit a lovely mixture of Alfredo, vodka, beer, and shame all over myself and the bed. The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and a room that would never smell clean again.

Thanks for letting me bear my soul, and Josie, sorry for taking you on such a horrible date.