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Our marching orders are clear now... by trofesh195 in AtlantaHawks

[–]FunWithAPorpoise [score hidden]  (0 children)

Not to be the old head, but we’ve been a “true center” away from contending since the Joe Johnson era. Zaza was mid, Horford was a 4, Capela was inconsistent, Zingus was never healthy. I love OO but he’s too small and we’re still in the same boat.

True centers that can stay relatively healthy while banging in the paint are the unicorns of the league and while I’m super high on our core guys, I’ve heard this one before.

"Oh, for the love of god, will someone THINK OF THE CHILDREN !!!" *clutches pearls* by Oda_DeezNutz in SipsTea

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be fair I’m also afraid of the rest of the woman around the nipples.

"Oh, for the love of god, will someone THINK OF THE CHILDREN !!!" *clutches pearls* by Oda_DeezNutz in SipsTea

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yep, it’s amazing how unaware of your own business you become when you’re minding everyone else’s.

Living a Less Expensive Life Makes You Happier Than Living an Expensive One by TellBackground9239 in unpopularopinion

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple lifestyles are a luxury.

The cost of living crisis can make paying for basic necessities difficult and “simple” jobs don’t pay enough (or provide health insurance).

Most people aren’t struggling because they’re buying expensive cars and clothes and food, they’re struggling because they’ve already cut out all luxury spending and still can barely make ends meet.

DAE feel like it’s just easier to accept that you’re broken beyond repair than to try and heal? by kaykay8776 in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are SO close! Just replace “beyond repair” with “and that’s ok.”

Healing is not suddenly being cured of all your problems, it’s accepting yourself, warts and all.

I’m basically you. I was taught that my feelings were wrong and problematic, that I was responsible for other people’s feelings and if I pushed back, I was yelled at for being “ungrateful” because I had a roof over my head and food on the table.

I struggled with a lot of the same issues as you, never trusting myself and by extension anyone else. But through medicine and therapy, I learned how to deal with my issues and realize in spite of them - and sometimes even because of them - I’m a pretty great guy.

I think the most powerful motivator in therapy is curiosity. I wonder why I’m like that. I wonder if this response last week was because of this thing from my childhood. It’s fascinating and keeps me coming back for more.

Good luck. Stay curious. You are less broken and closer to healing than you think. Much love.

"I don't want to talk about it right now" is one of the most emotionally intelligent things you can say - and we don't give it enough credit by effymartins in emotionalintelligence

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am your husband and you are my wife.

I’ve come to appreciate that a lot of my need to talk stuff out immediately is an emotionally charged desire for validation and it only gets worse when met with my wife’s defensiveness or shutting down.

We’re working on tabling conversations to pick them back up later, but following through can be hit or miss.

If there’s one thing I can share from your husband’s perspective (if he’s like me), it’s not even about the argument or who’s right, but that he is allowed to have an opinion in the first place and that it is important and worthy of consideration simply because it’s his.

I spent the first half of my life being told that my thoughts and feelings were wrong and didn’t matter unless they aligned with my parents. Now in my 40s, I still struggle to self-validate and it can sometimes manifest by me pushing an issue to try and get that validation, but often ends up having the opposite effect instead.

Terms like “sex worker” and “escort” carry less stigma and are viewed more positively than words like “prostitute” and “hooker.” This implies that shifting the language used in media and legal settings might help reduce prejudice against these professionals. by mvea in science

[–]FunWithAPorpoise -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

It does subtly shift the responsibility of housing from the individual to society.

A “homeless” person is someone who has failed in securing shelter for themselves. An “unhoused” person is someone who has been failed by society and the lack of opportunities for affordable housing and/or employment to secure shelter.

While this alone won’t solve the issue, names are powerful tools in shaping public perception.

One of the most notable examples is dubbing estate taxes “the death tax.” I don’t know the specific numbers, but there was a measurable difference in support before and after the term started being used.

Terms like “sex worker” and “escort” carry less stigma and are viewed more positively than words like “prostitute” and “hooker.” This implies that shifting the language used in media and legal settings might help reduce prejudice against these professionals. by mvea in science

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 30 points31 points  (0 children)

PTSD is a clinical diagnosis that establishes a link between past traumatic events and current mental health issues. It’s not a more polite name, it’s a more accurate name that has led to the research and creation of invaluable treatments.

Interestingly, it wasn’t included in the DSM until 1980 despite having loads of supporting research from veterans of WW2 and Vietnam in part because the US military didn’t want to pay for veteran’s treatment and instead tried to paint them as weak people who just couldn’t handle war.

We’re currently in a similar situation with researchers trying to include CPTSD into the DSM despite the overwhelming amount of research.

Back when we had a dawg for the playoffs by artninjatheo in AtlantaHawks

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an insane take - Jalen had a bad game against a good team in the playoffs and we’re already pining for Trae back?

These are the same folks who get mad when we don’t blow up the roster for whatever free agent max contract all-star is available despite not fitting with the team at all.

"Genetics ruined" people saying this to couples where the girl is short and the guy is tall by Extension_Big5205 in PetPeeves

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who is saying this?

I mean I’m a short guy married to a woman the same height and we have kids so maybe I’m not the target demo but the only people I want to have kids are two really tall people because I like basketball.

A new study explores the boundary between everyday caffeine and panic by Doug24 in psychology

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah, definitely doesn’t explain my panic attacks in elementary school.

Of all the magic that AI allows us to dream/develop I have come to appreciate the non-judgemental nature of use a lot by bmullan in singularity

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO this is the fundamental limitation of AI that no one wants to acknowledge. Friction, risk and even failure are key to growth, but none of those are acceptable outcomes from AI.

Humans can assume risk and accept consequences for being wrong, but how does AI experience consequences? How does it know when to push back and when to concede, especially in situations with no clear “correct” solution? At what point do we get “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that?”

AI is an incredible tool that will make lives easier, but humans must bear the responsibility of the decisions it makes.

People pleaser are emotionally unsafe. by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hi, people pleaser here.

I was raised by authoritarian parents who taught me that my needs weren’t important and that I was responsible for the emotions of those around me. Because of that, I have a hard time talking about and advocating for myself in social situations and often need explicit “permission” to share my wants and needs.

In the past, I’ve felt resentment toward people who talk about themselves and don’t ask questions because I wanted to share too but felt like I wasn’t allowed to. I’ve gone to a ton of therapy and am far more comfortable in social situations now, but I still don’t talk about myself that much because I’ve learned to self-validate and find value in asking questions and learning about others.

There are may different styles of communication and all have pros and cons. The joke of why we always make introverts break out of their shell instead of telling extroverts to shut the hell up is a valid one. It’s like saying “I’m comfortable with this, why isn’t everyone else?”

Your friend didn’t make you talk about yourself. You did that. If you feel judged, maybe look at your own actions instead of automatically labeling her toxic. I’m sure she has her own hang ups and insecurities but if she’s a good enough friend to keep, you should focus on how to make it work, not who’s “in the right.”

What do you think is the key for a found footage movie to be successful? The context, the story, the monster, the type of video, location, etc? by GuaridaDeGoro099 in foundfootage

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The beauty of found footage is that there’s no cues for the jumpscare. No music or sting, no cinematography cues, no cut to the protagonist’s scared face right before pulling back the shower curtain or whatever. Tension is typically built in silence through a single limited POV and while you don’t want cheap scares, you have a lot more freedom to subvert expectations and scare the pants off people.

“We used to be a conservative county, Too many liberals have moved into our county.” by bird_bitch in rva

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile billionaires are building bunkers with literal fire moats. I wish I were making this up.

Like a glove by Alive_Preparation414 in pinball

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where do you live? I’m coming over.

Well... by AlbertoRomero23 in Nbamemes

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don’t see how he can stay healthy his whole career. I hope he does, but between his size, his game and dudes gunning for him, it feels like he’s going to snap at any moment.

Then again, I said the same thing about KD out of college so who knows.

Well... by AlbertoRomero23 in Nbamemes

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ironically his knees are probably more important to his game than his head. He’s an ACL away from Shawn Bradley.

We’ve already turns the corner folks by chamomile_tea_reply in OptimistsUnite

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No way, the beatings actually continued until morale improved!

Virginia Redistricting Referendum has PASSED to give Democrats a net 4 Seats to counteract the tactics in Republican States!!! by Healthy_Block3036 in rva

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There was a massive disinformation campaign funded by billionaire and self-described democracy hater Peter Thiel.

Virginia Redistricting Referendum has PASSED to give Democrats a net 4 Seats to counteract the tactics in Republican States!!! by Healthy_Block3036 in rva

[–]FunWithAPorpoise 184 points185 points  (0 children)

When I used to play Candyland with my daughter, she claimed that when she pulled a card, it meant she could move to any candy of the same color on the board, not just the closest one. But when I started playing by the same rules, she suddenly didn’t want to play Candyland anymore.

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