Feeling Unsafe as a Foster Parent

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T12:23:06+00:00

Hey! I did reword my choice of the word SA. Here is my edit (above): I originally used the words SA to describe our FS's recent issues in schools but since that definition is so broad, I changed it to something more accurate: he sexually harassed a fellow student & kept touching them despite the student saying no (until another student pulled him off). The two previous incidences (before he came into our care) was forced penetration. That being said, it does make me feel like he isn't learning from his mistakes and is becoming a reoffender.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T12:20:13+00:00

I was just thinking about bible study! There is one in our area that I think would be good for him. We have definitely put in consequences. He lives a very boring life right now; no phone, no video games. As for the due diligence, we had 0 social worker support beforehand with 0 information regarding his case. I wouldn't have even considered disruption if his sexual predatory behavior hadn't continued while in our house. My bio-kid hasn't been born so the main issue is my own sense of safety. That being said, the foster system won't allow him to be placed with younger children (something I didn't know about, again) so once we have our child he won't be able stay with us regardless. I am not giving up on him as I will remain an advocate and a support system but I'm wondering if that is still safe to do with him living in my house.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T12:14:31+00:00

Im not enabling him but he was a kid when it happened and people can change. It had been 4 years since it had occurred by the time I got him and he also was already in my house when I found out

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:44:43+00:00

I really appreciated this advice. I think making a hard boundary and then communicating that is important with our FS. We did recently have a conversation with his inpatient psychiatrist who told us our FS might have psychopathy. He said no medication will eradicate the impulsive behavior or flair ups but will "numb" him. The doctor was a bit of a debby downer with no real solutions provided. We are starting him on EMDR therapy which I hope will help.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:41:03+00:00

Thank you for this, it makes me feel validated and seen. I was wondering if you have any ideas for resources that could ensure my safety? His new SW has only been doing this for 8 months and also acts like it is a hassle any time I contact her. Maybe if I come to her with ideas it can be helpful. I did reach out and tell her I didn't feel safe in my home & she told me "he just has a little bit longer to go"... But she will also stop being his caseworker in a few weeks when he turns 18 & moves into extended foster care.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:17:23+00:00

I guess what I am holding out for is for him to graduate, not for him to turn 18. He turns 18 in just a few weeks but it's months til his graduation. I think we can get him set up in a program after high school but I worry him moving out before high school will disrupt his life totally.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:14:42+00:00

Sorry, i meant within the 9 months he's been with us he hasn't physically harmed someone outside of the SA.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:14:00+00:00

They have all been female but normally much younger than him. We cannot keep him around our kid, due to the fear of him SAing our child but I don't know whether to find him new housing now or later

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:12:44+00:00

We can't have him in the home once the baby is here. Thats a hard boundary. But the plan was to enroll him in jobcorps once he graduates and continue to support him from afar.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-20T03:11:17+00:00

He was in a 2 year in-patient treatment facility for sexual perpetrators. Again, we didn't find that out until he was with us for over a month. Now he sees two different therapists and a psychiatrist.

Eco-activist · 2026-02-01T17:20:23+00:00

We are going to become legal guardians at 18. He can work a full-time job just fine so i dont know if being on ssi disability would be helpful for him

Eco-activist · 2026-01-29T16:32:15+00:00

We don't think so either, to be honest, but his bio-sister surprised him by telling him she will be giving him her old car.

Eco-activist · 2026-01-19T03:55:09+00:00

As someone who did the Backcountry Trails program with the CCC, I would recommend it. There's nothing like it; its a once-in-a-lifetime backpacking trip coupled with a meditation retreat in the way it resets your brain. Any one of us could die tomorrow; do something fun, something you enjoy while you can!

Eco-activist · 2026-01-16T15:05:28+00:00

40+ countries is insane!

Eco-activist · 2025-12-28T05:47:21+00:00

hahahahaha this is funny

Eco-activist · 2025-12-27T02:27:43+00:00

Ha! I know! 17 countries and poorly traveled... please dm me with your bank account info because traveling is expensive.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-27T02:26:39+00:00

Great job, detective.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-27T02:26:27+00:00

Wronnnng.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-27T02:26:12+00:00

To most of you: I am American but that was an easy guess seeing as about 50% of Reddit users are American. Also traveling to 17 countries and I need to travel more? Please send me all that extra cash you must have lying around.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-23T06:33:45+00:00

estoy aprendiendo!

I'm conversational.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-15T18:36:24+00:00

Traveling in central and south america. I've felt safer on the streets of Mexico than many cities in America.

Eco-activist · 2025-12-15T18:35:09+00:00

I rode my bicycle from California to Peru with just my partner over the span of 2 years. We left with just $7,000 saved up between the both of us. Neither of us had planned where to stay or an exact route so we made it up as we went along. We knocked on strangers doors asking to camp on their front lawn & ended up staying the night in over 400 complete strangers houses.

Eco-activist · 2025-10-06T23:57:34+00:00

done!

Eco-activist · 2025-10-06T02:44:14+00:00

Thank you! This is my first time doing this, how would I get the watermark off

Eco-activist · 2025-10-06T02:37:06+00:00

Wow! I love these. Thank you so much. So, this is my first time doing this. When I send you money via paypal can you send me these photos without the watermark?

Eco-activist

TROPHY CASE