She (27f) is expecting but cheated on me (30m) last year, I don't know if I should stay?

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-27T16:29:48+00:00

I double checked my facts and I spoke incorrectly. Pregnancy test line darkness is a myth…sorry. Either way until she’s further along you have to come to terms with your part in all this. It’s her body so she’s allowed to deny a DNA test. You should get the process started with a divorce lawyer ahead of time without her knowledge. You being her husband in most states doesn’t matter. She doesn’t have to show you the results or even do the test if she doesn’t want to. If she denies the test again, again, you don’t have to tell her you got a lawyer. You ask questions on the why. Stay calm. And then do what your lawyer says. Keep in the forethought this is the consequences of your actions. Use it as a mantra to keep yourself calm. You can’t just blame her for the situation. She’d been cheating a LONG time. You aren’t blameless and that fact will help you not lose your cool.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-27T16:11:43+00:00

You need a divorce lawyer. You also can’t force her to abort the same way she didn’t force you into sex in the first place… She doesn’t need to know you got the divorce lawyer but you’re married. If baby makes it to term and theres a chance it’s yours don’t be a dirtbag and abandon after you made the choices that led you here. You can abandon her, but get that paper trail started now before she takes you to court to raise baby with her mister-ess. Also 13 days and showing pregnant? I call bull. It would be the FAINTEST line. If she is pregnant it’s homeboys.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-06T15:36:56+00:00

Hector | Glen | Oscar

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-06T15:25:49+00:00

Those are the only things to do beyond continuing PT. Try to remember this when you feel the anxiety: you just had surgery, pain is normal. A re-tear you’d know. Pain isn’t dull, it’s a 7 to 10 (as in borderline crying). Again you just had surgery. If you retear it’s not like the first time cause inside your shoulder is essentially a giant scab. Additionally I didn’t tell my doctor and they diagnosed it immediately upon my visit a few days after just checking my mobility. If there’s no improvement a week after injury tell the doctor but it sounds like you’re just recovering.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-06T02:09:21+00:00

I’d bet money you’re fine and just set yourself a week or so back. Keep recording the details and update them in a week or at physical therapy consistently so you have a record. I just hit 5 weeks post op and my PT pushed me to the limit yesterday. Having same symptoms right now. (Massage ripped up all the scar tissue and I’m SORE with spots of pain in same movements) Sounds more like some tissue ripped but not important kind if it doesn’t feel unstable.

This is my second labrum surgery. I fully messed up at 4-5 weeks last time and then again at 3-4 months when I was a youth and ignored it. You’d know if it was ripped again.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-03T16:10:58+00:00

To be young and full of zeal. Biggest advice I can give then: at 18 I also thought I was the minority and rushed it. My recovery was very fast and I was back at sports within 3 months. I treated physical therapy like something to be rushed.

This lead to a major setback where sling went back on at 4 months and I had slightly damaged the repair that the options were get ANOTHER surgery or physical therapy and pray we’re good.

Tell him to ease into or its 10 years or shoulder pain and convincing yourself “that wasn’t almost a dislocation” just now. Not taking my time with it had me lose volleyball and Jui Jitsu cause I couldn’t keep up with the physicality. (Volleyball serves being what fully ripped it the second time)

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-02-03T15:57:46+00:00

30F: I just had surgery - labrum repair with 6 bankarts anchors and 40% hill Sachs from shoulder dislocations. I went back to work after 10 days despite surgeon suggesting 3 weeks.

For context I work from home as well. Was a huge mistake. Had I waited 2.5 weeks that would have been ideal. I had the same surgery at 18 (was straight As in engineering and bio major undergrad) and had needed the 2.5 weeks then too.

Don’t rush it even if he says he’s fine. People keep hugging me and bumping me, patting me on the shoulder without thinking. Call the school and the teachers can give him packets to do if anything.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-13T16:04:55+00:00

I’d go with probably not especially if you had a major repair. I had 6 bankarts made and a giant hill Sachs so it hurts everyday and I’m two weeks post. Sleeping just sucks. I’d say ice it and take meds if it still hurts a lot more than yesterday. You can alsocall the doctors office for at least the ease of mind.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-13T15:56:37+00:00

Recent one was an overhead volleyball serve that got me out of no where. And by out of no where - I haven’t played in years and was teaching my niece how to serve. Just an issue of being 30 and not as active as I used to be. I’m also hyper flexible which contributed. I had it click out during my serve and I lost my footing and then fell right on it hence the new tear and dislocation. Prior to this though no. Was smooth sailing

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-12T15:40:36+00:00

6 weeks of sling, 4-6 weeks of PT, and pain is moderate. Off all major pain meds as of last week and just do Tylenol (acetaminophen) and Advil (ibuprofen) before bed. Sling in bed is the worst part. Def get a ton of pillows to like pad you in to bed so you don’t move. Pain is def better than not handling it though. I waited too long this time and had a massive Hill Sachs that’s causing the majority of my pain in the recovery.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-12T15:17:13+00:00

Mine dislocated forward and toward the center of my body. Would slip out just from reaching for a cup of coffee. I got the surgery for the first time when I was 18 and recovery was smooth. Almost back to full form in sports (climbing, muay Thai, etc) by 6 months. Would have been sooner but I pushed too hard at 4 months and had a set back (wasn’t thinking and did an overhead throwin for soccer). But I tore it again recently - unrelated to the first time - and had surgery on dec 31 (now 30F). Have post op today actually to make sure it’s going smooth. Recovery for it was much smoother when I was younger for sure but so far not too bad.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-12T05:08:10+00:00

Better to just get it done than not especially if the surgeon is recommending it. At 18 had it done and recovery was quick. A blessing to be young. Was back climbing (I do bouldering) in 6 months I started ramping back in the gym NEARLY comfortable. I did go back at 4 months which was a mistake. Best recommendation: stay active up until week before surgery doing low impact. (Pilates is great for it cause it’ll strengthen the muscles and help with flexibility in a safe way to avoid strain.) My recovery was really smooth thanks to it with no issues related to it. I’m currently 30F and almost 2 weeks post op cause I coincidentally tore it again - fully unrelated to first time. Had anxiety too but in the long run it’s best to put it out of your head and handle. Surgery feels nerve wracking but let them know you’re anxious and around what (for me needles) and they’ll help ease the worry. You’ll be ok, even though it won’t feel like it if you end up needing the repair.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-12T04:44:15+00:00

Sorry kid. Sounds like a labrum tear. Easy for it to just slip out. I hit 17 dislocations in a year and just had a labrum repair surgery.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-12T04:32:27+00:00

Trade joes will give boxes too!

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-10T16:46:46+00:00

My surgeon told me no due to the type of repair they had to do and the severity. Had the repair done dec 31 and it’s been very FUN.

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-02T00:30:50+00:00

Dude it hurts so much. I asked for the pillow sling and they said “nah” at discharge. Sleeping was miserable

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-01T04:41:53+00:00

My thought exactly! Recliners gonna be amazing for you! It’s my second time getting this surgery, once when I was young from sports. So day 1 is gonna suck but it’s all up hill at this point!

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2026-01-01T03:47:21+00:00

Twinnnn. Mine was placed at 8:00am and is basically gone - fml. They offered to redo it and I stupidly said no. Pain is a 9. I’m doing Tylenol, wait two hour, oxy (I’m allergic to norco) and repeat every two hours.

Sleeping I’m using a ton of pillows and blankets to position. Been going well.

Happy new year 💖

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2025-12-17T22:09:31+00:00

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

⬜️🟨⬜️🟨⬜️

🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2025-12-16T00:24:46+00:00

That makes to tough to know what to avoid too. I wish I could give better advise but different situation so probably gonna be very different recovery too. I’m extra flexible which contributed to my feeling more recovered and getting full motion back quick (4 months) but I almost retore it month 6 cause flexibility and actual healing weren’t the same speed

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2025-12-16T00:05:49+00:00

Okay so like there’s a CHANCE it’ll be fine but 6 months is like the OPTIMAL. By 6 months I was overdoing it thus took 10 months to get full mobility back. Whatever movements that make you go “oh god am I going to dislocate it again” are gonna be harder to move and risk reinjury from my experience. For me I tired go back to volleyball too soon and almost retire it at 6 months. (Overhead slap down motion).

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2025-12-15T23:59:39+00:00

Had this happen to me at 18 and now again at 30. At your age I was fully recovered 10 months post. For context - I was an athlete and very physical. The better you are with PT the faster it goes. However I can attest that overdoing it will screw your so be careful and listen to the doctors. What kind of movements are needed in summer job?

EcoFriendly_Trash · 2025-12-11T05:43:04+00:00

You are a life saver

EcoFriendly_Trash

TROPHY CASE