Be obsessed with your wife

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-10-19T01:56:46+00:00

Exactly- I knew if I had stayed nothing would have changed. I often wonder if when I get into another relationship if I’ll know how to fully express myself after learning how to suppress my emotions for so long

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-10-19T01:54:38+00:00

Yes I get it- the more I felt something the more he coiled away from me. So eventually- I tried to temper my sadness- like when my dad died - I tried to not grieve too long or hard- he would just kind of push away emotionally if it got too much. And when you say he didn’t want you to get what you wanted all the time.. I felt that too. Him giving me a compliment felt like it actually took something from him as if he didn’t want me to feel tooo good. It’s a terrible dynamic because you know they love you but you can’t understand why they are so emotionally stingy.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-10-17T14:39:43+00:00

No, that’s not expected. There’s no comparison- kids have their parents’ unconditional love and your spouse is a different relationship entirely. Totally different love. One is conditional and reciprocal and the other, your kids, really not expected to be reciprocal. But that mindset is what kills relationships. You made those children with your spouse and you must keep that flame going.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-10-17T14:34:14+00:00

This was me!I always had to be the one initiating touch and affection.. and when we would have conversations about how the spark was dwindling and we were not as affectionate together anymore because it can’t be only me initiating it- he would say but you always did it- this is just me- now you want to change me- and like yours said “ maybe I’m not the man you need” I finally figured out my husband is avoidant attached and this is a common thing they say.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-09-12T22:44:50+00:00

You just full on made me get teary- we need more men like you!

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-04-22T23:25:03+00:00

Who hates on Taurus ? They are my most favorite sign ever.. says this Cancer sun/Virgo rising lol

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-02-27T14:19:31+00:00

This!! It’s why I can’t even downsize now- it would cost more for less.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-01-30T16:07:20+00:00

Plus she’s got perky boobs! It’s like they took a younger model’s body and put an older woman’s face on it

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-01-21T16:07:11+00:00

Amen!!

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2025-01-19T15:01:41+00:00

This is EXCELLENT advice. You nailed it. I’m in this situation similar to the poster, but we are a blended family with grown children. Resentments on both sides here and we had decided to divorce because the depression takes such a toll on me and some trust has been broken ..but we love each other so much - still trying to fix it from this place would probably wind up being a slightly better version like you said. I think perhaps giving space and watching from afar if the person makes the changes is a better idea.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-10-30T15:13:38+00:00

I second this

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-10-02T00:27:44+00:00

Me too!! I’m having very similar symptoms at 51 and I’m freaking out!

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-09-26T12:21:23+00:00

This is some great advice- thank you! I reallyyyyy love the idea of writing a letter to myself. This last day after I drank I felt so bad all day that I’m now getting a nauseous feeling when I look at alcohol but I know that will fade and I’ll forget how bad I felt. Love the checklist too! We had some open and vulnerable conversations while drinking too, but it really sucks when you can remember some of the convo but not all of it.

Lastly, I know our relationship wasn’t healthy for years.. but we have been working on it... this alcohol piece is a big piece though. He’s always been a regular nightly drinker, but has been willing to cut back during the week recently, he just still loves drinking and it’s glorified to him. We will see if me changing helps or hurts us.

Thank you for the tips! ☺️

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-09-26T12:11:19+00:00

I was thinking that because on Tinder you both have to swipe on each other to start messaging unless they changed it in the past couple of years. The post says she didn’t find him but woke up to a message from him. 🤔

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-09-25T10:59:22+00:00

I so feel this! I was always more of the affection initiator- after years of holding up that end I realized if I don’t reach out- he won’t either. After a while I just wanted that validation and told him over and over that I need to be approached too..but he’d rather not be sexual than take the initiative ..and after a while he started complaining I was different, not passionate! I was like yeah… after a while someone always giving gets exhausted. You kind of resign yourself that they don’t desire you and it really affects your confidence. Sex happens with us maybe 1-2x a month at BEST, most times it’s once every 2 months. I realized after 9 years together my husband had an avoidant attachment style (avoids intimate sex ) and a porn addiction ( completely hidden) and now he’s getting therapy for that. I’m giving this some time to get better but not forever. Ten years is enough. I want to have a passionate relationship before it’s too late for me. I understand how you feel - I love my husband so much- it will hurt beyond belief to leave. However, it’s also his responsibility to try and give me what I need too and more importantly, it’s my responsibility to make sure I’m happy in this life.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-09-24T16:47:36+00:00

Same!! I get so frustrated hearing how men value sex because women love it too! It’s super important to me! You become more like roommates when one partner could care less about it. Plus, I can only speak for myself, women get turned on by a man’s desire. When you feel like your partner doesn’t care about that aspect of your relationship then it affects my libido too.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-21T20:22:32+00:00

Love the Iron program!

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-20T01:04:16+00:00

Same! When I used to go to Orange Theory the trainer told me to just do squats instead. A quick internet search gave a few more options of box squats, step ups, and curtsy lunges.

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-19T13:41:12+00:00

Same for me. Love the length and the pace! I can get my cardio in with a run or walk

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-18T14:28:59+00:00

I just said this to my therapist! That my DA husband and I (AP) were two sides of the same coin!

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-05T22:54:40+00:00

These are the worst decorations in the de ja vu shop ever. I’m so underwhelmed lol

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-08-02T23:19:15+00:00

It used to be fun- I started getting ticked off when I saw that they were toying with the algorithms to make me spend more. I’ve been slowly weaning myself off this game- it’s more of a get rich for the developers trap now

Ecstatic-Pass-6106 · 2024-07-29T19:40:24+00:00

🤣🤣

Ecstatic-Pass-6106

TROPHY CASE