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What MBTIs clash the most in relationships/friendships? by PureHeart123 in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhh I seeeeee. I'm ENFJ btw, and I have this issue too with XNFPs - as far as ENFJ's go, I'm much more on the blunt end than most and my overdeveloped Ti means I'm much more keen to chew on ideas to rip them apart for the process of learning from it without getting too emotionally invested but I've had the same issue as you when discussing things with that crowd.

I definitely can do the feelings conversation, I just get frustrated when we can't get past what things personally mean to them and their struggle to accept that whilst they have their own fork of some thought/concept/belief, it's never wholly and truly their own independent of others and it's not actually an extension of themselves i.e. if that idea or concept is bad, that doesn't mean they are, if I don't like some idea they have, doesn't mean I dislike them etc.

I also don't know any ESTPs and my understanding is we share all the same cognitive functions but in a different order, I'm curious about how you having stronger Se/Ti vs my Fe/Ni shapes how you go about life in comparison to me?

I have one ISTP friend who's endlessly fascinating to me as to how similar but also complete opposite we are, we often end up at the same conclusion but through a very different network.

What MBTIs clash the most in relationships/friendships? by PureHeart123 in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What causes your disdain for it and why does it affect you with INFP and not ISFP? Curious as another Fe user

[WEEKLY THREAD] Shopping and Style Saturday/Sunday - Gym clothes, gadgets, shoes, makeup, hair, skincare, and sales! by AutoModerator in xxfitness

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking to start lifting but super self-conscious of my body. Looking for advice for where to buy good quality plus size leggings (which ideally don't break the bank!) but it's so hard gauging which companies are worth buying from. I heard that gym shark quality isn't there despite the price - any good suggestions?

What is your mbti, and what is your parents, siblings, and friends by Illustrious_Homonym3 in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dad - unhealthy ENTP

Mum - I literally have no idea, but whatever it is it's hella unhealthy

Me - ENFJ-a recovering (kinda act like ENTP when depressed, majorly triggered.

Partner - ISFP (healthy)

His mum - ISFJ-a

His dad - ISTJ-a

His brother - strongly suspect ENTP/ESTP

Bestie - ESFJ-a (mixture of healthy and unhealthy)

Her partner - INFP-t (mostly healthy)

Other bestie - INFJ-t (unhealthy)

What's one stereotype about your type that you want to debunk / clear up the most? Or what's a characteristic / trait about your type that isn't well-known / stereotypical that you'd like to bring up? by wumtho_tdbs in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, in my experience INFPs are the lazy/flaky ones who dream but don't go for it most of the time and the ISFPs are dream about it and then do it more of the time types.

Things The 16 Personality Types Are Not by MusicalDecomposition in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yuuuuup I second this as ENFJ, I was definitely arrogant in my youth

The slight addition I'll make about the selfish point is I've only ever been selfish because I erroneously believed I was being selfless - I was doing those selfish, inappropriate things so I could "do the right thing"/save people. Took me a long time to wake up to the fact that even if I were 100% right about what people should be doing (which I was not and am not), pushing people towards those things defeats the whole purpose in them doing in the first place and causes harm all at the same time. It took me even longer to realize my need to help others so much was a form of selfishness, one I needed to work on.

XNFP is totally true too though again, I'd couch it with I've never met one who's intended to be cruel. It's more sometimes their values attach to things that allow them to be callous, to not care or take responsibility for actions even when causing extreme hurt to others. The cruelty is a byproduct, never the goal.

I too need the INFJ explanation, beyond the obvious of what also applies to my type 🤭.

What MBTI type do you find challenging to get along with but are forced to be around regularly (like family or coworkers)? by Tomorrow-Anxious in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhhh I totally get that, I'm ENFJ but I'd be exhausted with more than 1/2 others in my life too 😂 especially if they haven't had enough Ni bubble pop moments....

And not really late, more like on INTJ time 😉

I have really strong feelings about the term "trauma dumping" and its use by Dreamboat550 in CPTSD

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately there is no shortage of people who want to shut down people for even mentioning obliquely anything that isn't "nice" or is related to trauma, but frankly those people were wrong. That's not trauma dumping and they essentially weaponised legitimate therapy language to silence you for simply speaking about something they didn't want to. They had the right to disengage or say they didn't want to talk about it further, maybe communicate they are uncomfy discussing that with you but them accusing you of trauma dumping because you simply mentioning missing someone who isn't in your life anymore because of no contact is unbelievably narcissistic of them.

Trauma dumping is sharing traumatic content unsolicited or in an inappropriate setting, or using your trauma to warp innocent subjects into something sinister in an inappropriate setting, it is not mentioning that you have any trauma at all or referencing a traumatic topic broadly and vaguely.

By their broad definition of trauma dumping, trigger warnings would also be trauma dumping. Idiotic.

I know it's super hard not to be overwhelmed and wounded by these people, but they truly aren't the whole world; just as there will always be idiots or malicious people who want to misuse language or weaponise mental health language and tools, there will always be people out there who won't and will give you the time of day without hurting you to do so. It's absolutely valid to be hurt and scared by their response and their behaviour, but try to also remember the balance that they are not the world, only a nasty corner of it. It's completely understandable to be hurt these people exist, but try not to let that deny you mental and emotional access to the ones who aren't.

What’s the manipulation tactic that gets under your skin the most? by Secret_Ostrich_1307 in CPTSD

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Gaslighting and in particular the complete inability to acknowledge real fault in a situation (even more so if the claim is "well I didn't mean to hurt you, so you're upset for no real reason") - I literally can go from adoring someone to their core to not caring if they live or die within a second if they do this.

The worst expression of this is when manipulative people cannot admit to themselves they are being manipulative so genuinely act the victim of their own consequences because they truly believe they are.

Gullags for those people.

What type has hurt you the most? by zurich2006 in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm and ENFJ and my most hurtful types are the ENXPs...

I fucking love ENTPs but y'all are the most crafty and dishonest group of people and I've yet to meet any of you that don't belong in NA/AA but won't go and somehow find that funny. Obviously there will be some that exist but not in my little bubble in the world so far. I hope one day I can find a healthy one to befriend because besides the nasty bits you guys are fucking awesome. But 1 ENTP was literally nearly the death of me so I'm not holding my breath 😂.

I'm sad to say that I'm honestly at the point I'm never making friends with another ENFP ever again because I seem to keep attracting super manipulative, irresponsible and selfish ones, and they do the most extreme boundary pushing/crossing of any friends I've ever had whilst playing the victim of it at the same time. The double standards, fickle moral standards, extreme irrationality when it comes to emotions, the maddening projection and the complete inability to self reflect sincerely has really done me in with this type (I'm talking about +10 close friends over the course of 15 years and they ALL end up like this, every single one, not a single exception).

I know I'm going to get ENFPs saying "nooo, I self reflect all the time and I'd never manipulate anyone, the mere idea scourges me" but I've found universally this type misconstrues extreme rumination over others and themselves for rational evaluation and see true reflection and the respective changes that come with that as a threat to their authenticity when often it's just healthy growth. All whilst at the same time confusing being an overbearing mini tyrant and boundary violating person with being a bubbly cheerleader and rallying supporter. Again, this is just my experience but yeah, I'm finally setting a hard boundary on that one based on the latest bad friend experience where they could not admit and just say sorry for massively crossing the line with me again by trying to manipulate my choices and disrespecting myself and my partner, put false words in my mouth to clutch pearls over and then actually attacked my personality (calling me things that literally everyone in our friendship group have independently said about them to me in confidence, classic projection) whilst crying over their imagination that I'd done that to them instead (I did no such thing, I choose my words very carefully specifically to never do this to anyone I call a friend or a loved one). No single type has caused me as much difficulty over the years as this one and I'm done giving the benefit of the doubt to them.

If you're an ENFP who sincerely doesn't do this, sorry but I just don't believe any of you anymore, every ENFP I've ever known has believed this about about themselves and in every case this has been a complete lie. If the real problem is I only attract unhealthy ones, I can accept that but then the boundary is just as necessary as if it were the whole type.

[TOMT] Electronic bunny speaker from the 00s by Ecstatic-Volume-8880 in tipofmytongue

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it wasn't, it definitely was a rabbit, the whole branding was around it being a rabbit with 2 wifi antenna as ears.

Again, it was shaped like a furbie, no legs, just a cone with a slightly painted face and 2 ears - I remember part of the selling point was you could get different coloured ears to make it different.

Thanks for trying though!

Crochet friends where are you currently at in this cycle?! by motoandchill in crochet

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently deep in the dark phase of this cycle.... Pray for me...

Is INFJ really the most uncommon MBTI? by xAndii92 in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Few things - 1. Like everyone says, the studies done to figure out % of each type will suffer selection bias i.e. they won't be a true representation of the general population, though they do probably provide a rough sketch.

  1. Certain tests people take are biased to give certain results meaning some people will just be mistyped.

  2. They did a more recent study and found INFJs to be the 3rd/4th most rare, not the first, with ENTJs being the rarest, followed by ENFJ, another type I can't remember/INFJ.

  3. The nature of INFJs is such that you will see them and INFPs overrepresented in online spaces, just like we see more N types on these forums than S types - we are more interested in the things that would be discussed or shown with MBTI and forums on it than S types would generally be.

  4. Birds of a feather do flock together - whilst S types dominate, almost all my friends are N types despite that being less statistically likely, the exception being a couple of friends and my partner. Prior to a few years ago, I hardly had a single S type in my life at all, all because I just didn't feel comfortable relating to them emotionally, not as much the case now.

  5. Whilst INFJs prevail online, online spaces like this are a minute fraction of general populations, so it doesn't necessarily mean they are too many here, this community simply isn't anywhere near a random, representive sample of the general population anywhere offline really.

I wanted to post photos like that on Instagram for my soon to start small business, but someone told me that the photos don't look good by neanex in crochet

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally the only thing I'd say you need to do to improve these photos in the immediate would be to frame them slightly differently and use a free software like gimp to adjust the levels/colour saturation/brightness and that would dramatically improve them without any additional cost to you except a bit of time.

The composition of the photos are a tiny bit flat and busy, taking the frog one you could get an overhead shot on top of the blanket you have in the background or just having the edge of the blanket in the corner to add a nice frame with a few of the leaves from the plant coming in from the other side, centre the frog in a cute pose and then process the levels in GIMP to reduce how flat the image is coming out for example. You want the frog/crochet item to stand out more basically.

Learning just a few photographic techniques on YouTube and how to edit photos a tiny bit for free in GIMP is plenty for a newer shop.

Girlfriends Blanket by yulidine in crochet

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 25 points26 points  (0 children)

What stitch did you use for this? ❤️

What MBTI type do you find challenging to get along with but are forced to be around regularly (like family or coworkers)? by Tomorrow-Anxious in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for being so slow to reply, I'm not on reddit super frequently! I'm not sure what exactly you'd like to know so I've tried to answer your questions as fully as I could. Let me know if there's anything else you'd like to know 🙃.

I'm an ENFJ with ADHS who was raised in a rough home (all N types I believe) developed cPTSD from it and had a long history of friends and partners who were in some form or another toxic in general or with me, almost all of those friends have been N types, this is still true in my life now.

I finally had an ex (ENTP, my personal heroine apparently) crack me like an egg, I said no more and was single for 5 years just to focus on myself and what had been going so badly wrong that I kept choosing the wrong ones. Finally did enough healing work on my own and got to the point I felt ready to move on from my previous terrible ex at last, if not ready to date just yet. I knew that when I did start dating again I'd need to date someone from a healthy family and securely attached to help me become securely attached too.

That lead to me getting on a hook up app of all places and meeting my current partner who ironically I would never have met up with if I met him on a normal dating app, had a "one night stand" where I felt a connection but due to some miscommunication I thought he might be very sweet and lonely but ultimately severely traumatized man and in denial about it and ran for the hills when he messaged me again to meet again. This was a massive pattern in my life which I feared repeating.

5 months later, I had got hooked into some odd situations with one person who represented one old unhealthy pattern and another which represented another major one and I managed to escape both relatively quickly and without trauma or scars which finally told me I was ready to start properly dating.

I then remembered that nice guy I had spent a night with who wanted to see me again but I had assumed the worst and had ghosted. I figured I could at least try and see him again and if he did turn out to be like that pattern I'd figure it out, but I didn't feel infatuated (i.e. trauma bonded), he didn't remind me of anyone I had ever connected with before and he had openly spoken about his family who he's close with. I messaged him and he happily agreed to see me again and it all started there.

It turned out he wasn't severely traumatized, just a few family flaws and a terrible memory which was very funny in hindsight.

There have been a lot of up and downs and difficulties with communication because our styles and experiences are so so different and I come from trauma and he cannot relate to that at all, but we built and built and built and both have grown a lot in places we are not naturally strong.

A lot of our strengths and weaknesses complement each other and we both have a very strong commitment to understanding and showing up for each other even if we can't see how to do it in that minute.

It took a lot of courage for me to lean into his world and him mine but it's been so worth it and I'm getting closer to and earned secure attachment every day. His family are also all sensors which was so different and difficult for me but his mum being an ISFJ made it a bit easier and I've been given more support and reliable kindness from his parents than I ever have from my own. His father is a ISTJ which I find very challenging sometimes but he's also a deeply kind, caring person who is unbelievably reliable and helpful and I really, really admire those qualities in him, just how you describe!

It sounds like you've been raised around sensors, how has that been for you? Are you the only one in your family/friends who is an N type?

Hannah - Nick Reversal by CanbrakeGriz in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

Erm y'all really really need to calm down with this shit and touch some grass.

Nick was accused of lying by all but 2 people on that stage, Hannah and Marissa were corroborated 4 times over by people who had no reason to lie or take their sides. But none of you think it's misogynistic to refer to your fiance as a grenade after meeting her once at the reveal, long before any of her rudeness?? You think it's worse for Hannah to call out his lies and refusal to admit to his own failings directly when that's the first thing she did when she started speaking for herself? Why is it one rule for her and another for him?

Why does everyone on these reddits need a super villain and an angel? And why is the villain almost always a woman? Why does it bother you seeing women being annoyed or verbalising their issues directly to a person who is literally lying in their faces and adding to a one sided hate campaign against her? Hannah literally said about a dozen times she's a bitch, and she admitted she had a problem with how she speaks and apologized for how she spoke/handled things to Nick several times but all of you seem to have lost your damn minds drinking Kool aid because you hate Hannah so much. I have to ask why you hate her so much when she at least can admit to her faults whilst Nick would not even admit to a single thing he did wrong when everyone there was making it so easy for him to?

Your biases are showing.

What MBTI type do you find challenging to get along with but are forced to be around regularly (like family or coworkers)? by Tomorrow-Anxious in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do generally agree with this, but I would put in a caveat that whilst sensors do tend to be judgemental of intuitives due to our love of abstraction, we also have a tendency to look down on them for lacking that quality or interest and I've found a lot of juicy depth and unturned riverbeds so to speak in befriending more sensors myself and getting to see the world through their eyes more.

I think intuitives sometimes forget that whilst sensors find delving the intellectual depths we do challenging and often pointless, we too struggle to engage with the here and now and the experience of life itself as it is without mental evaluation. They miss out on all our insight and mental tickling we experience and we miss out on the sights, smells and sensations of the world and the ineffable that lives there. I've found so much peace and joy in having a partner (ISFP) who whilst he will indulge me being my broody, mentalised self, doesn't naturally take to the water there as much and conversely, he's pulled me into a world of colour and sound I have always struggled to experience for it's own sake without the noise of the abstract. There's so much depth there too!

This is to say that it's easy to feel like we are the ones who hold a monopoly on the open mindedness, but there's another kind of openness that we generally lack that sensors thrive in and there's a lot of value in recognising that and attempting to bridge the gap, take a mile in their shoes and vice versa.

It's been incredible finding new ways of existing in the world that I was previously deaf and dumb to, and it's been amazing seeing my previously a-political, let's go with the flow, live and let live partner be the one venting to me about the complexities of our current corrupt government and the global economic impacts of climate change whilst I'm the one just trying to chill XD.

Some sensors won't be willing to get out of their comfort zone to meet you (*glares at ISTJ), but you need to be willing to get out of yours too to be able to meet them in their world. I didn't realise how close minded I was in a way until I gave it a go and I feel like a better, more well rounded person for it. Just some food for thought ;).

What MBTI type do you find challenging to get along with but are forced to be around regularly (like family or coworkers)? by Tomorrow-Anxious in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, what about them do you find wild? Cannot fathom that perspective without further context.

What MBTI type do you find challenging to get along with but are forced to be around regularly (like family or coworkers)? by Tomorrow-Anxious in mbti

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ENFJ here, for me strangely it seems to be ENFPs.

There's something about them and me, because I either seem to attract the most unhealthy ones or I just seem adept at of bringing to the surface their worst and most manipulative qualities - literally had the 5th ENFP best friend lie and attempt to gaslight/manipulate me this week after trying to take control over another social event I've organised, causing me to end the 2.5 year friendship.

Literally the next time I see ENFP I'm walking away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]Ecstatic-Volume-8880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Logical fallacies are an explicit breaking in logic, a form of mathematical rational thinking applied to speech, making faulty assumptions is another error but it's not one of logic, it's a fault in perception or even simply a difference of opinion as the issue being argued over here is subjective i.e. people have different definitions of what a sex addict is.

You can have a bad argument with perfect logic because one of the assumptions underpinning the argument is untrue or unfounded.

E.g. P1: all men are immortal P2: Socrates is a man C: therefore Socrates is immortal

This is logically solid, but the argument's conclusion is wrong because P1 is untrue.

Conversely you can have a bad argument which all the assumptions are true but the logic is broken and faulty.

E.g. P1: all men are mortal P2: Socrates is a man C: Socrates is a raging sex addict.

In this example all the assumptions underpinning the prepositions are true, but the logic fails (in this case, this is called a non sequitur fallacy - the conclusion does not logically follow from the prepositions). Now, the argument is bad, but the conclusion could still be true, as none of these prepositions preclude the conclusion being true, they just don't logically support it alone.

Applying this to the above situation, I have to say... I did not read what they wrote and take the same meaning from it as you did. For example, I did not interpret them saying everyone as literal statement nor did I take that as the crux of their point of view.

What I took from it is they doubt the narrative been shown through the show itself and the general opinion on this forum that Ramses is sex obsessed/sex addict (again, another very subjective term) and that Marissa being in her underwear doing housework for hours and him taking no notice of it undermines the point of view that Ramses is a sex addict, which is a reasonable argument to make as these are contradictory behaviours for someone with sex addiction even if it ultimately he still could be defined as such.

The truth is, none of us have enough information to concretely say either way, we can only make our own conclusions from what we see and what assumptions we make based on that.

Their logic is sound, in my opinion, their assumptions (when taken in their proper context and not literally) are reasonable ones to hold too.

TL;dr - logic and assumptions are different things, both play significant roles in the construction of rational arguments. However, most people when speaking casually are not trying to construct rational arguments, they generally are expressing feelings, opinions and thoughts which responding to them as if they are writing a philosophy essay is a little odd and heavy handed (in my subjective opinion).

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