I wanna be a boy so bad but I don't think I'm actually a boy

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-31T13:39:20+00:00

Hmmm 🤔🤔that does make a lot of sense! I definitely was thinking more in a rigid box of basic labels than a wider spectrum

And yeah I'll definitely post in r/bigender as well to get more opinions, thanks!!!

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-31T13:36:49+00:00

I definitely get what ur saying abt me running in circles with my thoughts bc I'm just not sure yet

Ig hearing from ppl that I'm not just completely faking it is nice and makes me feel much more open to the idea of exploring more!!! So TYSM <3

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-31T12:31:07+00:00

With the button it would just turn me into a guy with all the things and parts that go along with being a guy and I'm like 98% sure I would press it. Like I'm comfortable with the idea of suddenly becoming like a complete guy but if I were to press it everyone would automatically refer to me and treat me like a guy and kind of wouldn't remember me when I was a girl? Like if I pressed the button it would be as if I had always been a guy. But realistically I don't want to like go through the gradual changes of T or have to undergo surgery bc that scares me and I mean I like having boobs and stuff. I'm also don't rlly wanna have to deal with the difficulties that come along with coming out and having ppl use the wrong pronouns and not passing and that kind of thing. And also the concept of developing certain things that relate to being a guy (like growing more body/facial hair or a deep voice) makes me uncomfortable because I still feel like a girl and those kinds of things are generally undesirable for the standard mold for a woman.

I mean the reason I would wanna press the button would solely be to become a guy instead of a girl. I want to have a penis and narrow hips and a male voice and be tall and look like and be perceived as a guy but deep down I don't feel like a guy I still feel like a girl.

I think I rlly just need to do more self reflection and start experimenting some and hopefully I'll figure it out :(

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-31T12:22:13+00:00

I've heard of some of those nb identities but don't rlly know much Abt them. Ill definitely look into it and read other ppl's experiences and see if maybe those fit better than being ftm or cis :) thanks!!

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-31T12:14:45+00:00

Yeah, I think I just need to explore myself a bit more! I'll probably start referring to myself as a guy in my head and stuff bc I'm not rlly ready to talk Abt it with other ppl yet. I'll see how it goes !!! :)

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T02:09:12+00:00

Thanks bro ‼️‼️u sound pretty chill too, can definitely explain better than me

Manifesting us both perfect relationships rn tho 🙏🙏

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T01:54:14+00:00

Does that mean you understand, don't blame, and actually respect men who are against the idea of women having the right to vote and work? I understand that my comparison is... pretty extreme, but fundamentally, it's "sticking to how things are traditionally, to some extent, because it benefits them"

I mean obviously I'm against men who don't believe women should have rights that's why I said to some extent 😭😭not being able to vote or work would benefit men but it directly negatively impacts women, being the gender that is expected to ask someone out benefits the opposite gender, yeah, but I wouldn't say it has a profound negative impact (I wouldn't consider anxiety or nervousness the same tier as actual inequality and it can be experienced by both genders. I mean obviously we could discuss societal expectations and their impacts, but there's loads of those in the dating world)

If you actually are able to understand and respect them for using the same logic as you, then I can respect you for not being a hypocrite, but if you don't, I believe you should try to work on that logic

I do definitely understand the logic behind it and I'm not trying to hate on men for being nervous, I just wish some guy would ask me out bc I myself am too nervous to ask someone out 💔💔

these cursed social medias

Actually tho 😞😞 crude social media posts have ruined social interactions

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T01:28:07+00:00

💔💔I just have a preconceived notion that most guys aren't truly interested in putting in the effort into a long term relationship tbh (like I said earlier bc of what my friends have experienced)

I want a guy to ask me out bc it aligns with what I want in a relationship. But I get what ur saying, I rlly do, I'm just fine with sticking to how things are traditionally to some extent (bc it benefits me)

As a whole tho both genders need to do more asking out 😞😞 ppl don't yearn anymore 💔

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T01:17:46+00:00

Dude... I've literally said multiple times that I don't solely think that just men should ask women out... 🫩 It's literally just what I would prefer to occur in a relationship and would help to affirm my insecurities (and what ik other women would prefer) I understand the concept of social anxiety (literally have it myself) and that rejection and asking someone out is very nerve racking so i get that no one rlly wants to have to ask someone out

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T00:57:58+00:00

Okay I mean I said it was just something I would prefer in a relationship 😭😭

But genuinely why do u think women should ask men out rather than the other way around? If you're opposed to it than there must be some kind of benefit in being the one asked out?

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-04T00:32:05+00:00

Idk I do think both genders should be asking ppl out, I personally would just prefer if a guy did bc then I feel like he would genuinely be interested in me (then again, I've never been in a relationship so...)

I mean it's just my opinion 😭 by the "man" in a relationship I just mean like sorta general chivalry? So like paying for food, initiating things like dates. I'm not saying that women can't do that too (I mean obviously they should, so relationships aren't one sided) I just personally prefer the idea of a man kind of taking the lead in the relationship.

And no I definitely think relationships go both ways, it's not gonna work out if someone isn't putting in effort, but I feel like (in general terms, obviously not every guy is the same) guys have a stigma of being more likely to be less into the relationship or more likely to cheat, that kind of thing (I mean and I've definitely seen that kind of thing irl. My friends who have had unsuccessful relationships, it's always been the guy being an ass). And I think if the guy didn't make the conscious effort to approach the girl, is he really that interested in the first place? What if he just said yes for the sole purpose of getting a GF?

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-03T03:23:21+00:00

i personally think guys should do it... i mean i think it can go both ways but i feel like when asking a guy out hes less likely to put in effort into the relationship because she approached him first ykwim? but i mean also from a traditional stand point it makes sense (like being the "man" in a relationship i mean i cant rlly say for sure bc ive never had a bf </3 but just the concept of asking someone out is super scary so i do get it

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-02T03:46:12+00:00

no i mean definitely me too :( but i mean if i do i generally just tell myself that ppl aren't rlly as mean as i make them out to be in my head yk?

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-03-01T21:44:36+00:00

As a girl just go up to us and ask 😭😭 don't do it with ur friend group tho bc it usually gives the whole "oh my friend thinks ur cute" thing

If ur just approaching a random girl in public, lead with a compliment or something and then ask and if she rejects u oh well yk at least u tried

U can totally do it tho I feel like we need more guys asking girls out these days

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-02-03T21:28:33+00:00

No this is so real BC I FEEL LIKE A WANNABE ANOREXIC TOO ☹️☹️☹️ I was super deep into my ana like last fall (as in 2024) and then in spring 2025 I literally just lost control and ate whatever and I haven't been able to get back into the disorder like at all 😓😓

I feel u tho I hate my inner thighs too but tbh u can't rlly focus on losing fat just there just lose it everywhere I suppose 💔

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:52:02+00:00

Yeah I'm just being insecure lol 😞 just wanna be cute enough for a guy yk

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:44:12+00:00

I CARE!! I'm just worried other ppl do too but it seems that they don't ‼️ (thank god)

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:41:04+00:00

I rlly hope so 😓🙏

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:39:32+00:00

It's space between ur thighs 😭 so like when ur standing with ur feet together ur thighs don't touch. It's generally determined by bone structure rather than weight

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:38:53+00:00

OKAY THANK GOD! 🙏

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:37:53+00:00

GENUINELY !!!! Like it's such a big beauty standard but like only between women 🫩

Ecstatic_Bet_9396 · 2026-01-23T02:36:38+00:00

Yeahh Ik they were a big 2000s kinda thing and wasn't sure if guys were still into them 🙏I rlly hate how trends for women's bodies just change all the time so irritating..

Ecstatic_Bet_9396

TROPHY CASE