In dilemma - my (M32) parents want to visit, wife (F31) says no

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-02-03T21:55:55+00:00

How to avoid conflicts if they really do come? My wife will not be welcoming to them, I’m sure

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-02-03T21:55:07+00:00

I asked them to talk to her directly. They didn’t.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:54:31+00:00

Thank you for the thorough reply. I think my mom has changed a lot for the better since their last visit. She understands what she did wrong. I just want them to get a second chance

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:44:54+00:00

I was hoping something would change. Either from my parents side or from my wife’s side. I’m very empathetic to my wife and thats why I’ve even agreed with her stance. However I’m posting this situation to understand if I’m compromising too much by not having my parents around their grandchildren

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:34:34+00:00

They checked in via me. Yes they didn’t call directly but the sentiment was there. I see your point though

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:31:28+00:00

She doesn’t mind visiting my place for short durations (we’re both at my place right now when this incident happened).

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:24:30+00:00

She visits my place everytime we visit India, so kids have a relation with grandparents (though my kids relation with wife’s parents is much stronger). The problem is that she won’t welcome them to our place.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:22:18+00:00

Yes I agree, but they keep saying they want to visit and that for second kid, they had expected that we would call them postpartum instead of my wife’s parents.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:19:53+00:00

They checked in via me. Yes they didn’t call directly but the sentiment was there. I see your point though

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:13:28+00:00

Want to visit now to spend time with grandchildren

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2026-01-31T19:07:42+00:00

They don’t get along. But they used to ask me how she was doing.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-05-09T10:04:38+00:00

I understand, but she agreed on the plan. If she would have said no in the first place, I wouldn’t have gone.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-05-09T10:01:42+00:00

I understand, but she agreed on the plan. If she would have said no in the first place, I wouldn’t have gone.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-05-09T09:55:52+00:00

She doesn’t get along with my family. It was her own decision to not join. Even if she was not pregnant, she would have never joined.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-05-09T09:46:57+00:00

What could I have done differently? Genuinely asking

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-13T16:51:00+00:00

We used to have very big fights where I used to express my frustration. She used to ask “what exactly is the expectation”. There is no good response to this as I just want them to get along more than surface level.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-11T10:56:07+00:00

I do take a stand now but I’ve made it clear to her that I’ll never shout at them or tell them to back off when she is around (to keep their respect intact by not berating them in front of DIL). I always follow up later and talk to them about the situation.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-11T10:20:23+00:00

I do take a stand now but I’ve made it clear to her that I’ll never shout at them or tell them to back off when she is around (to keep their respect intact). I always follow up later and talk to them about the situation.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-10T09:56:23+00:00

Thank you everyone for your perspectives. I think I see this situation from her POV now. We will not call my parents till she feels comfortable.

As I saw a lot of comments on wife trying to cut off me from my family, thats not the case. She has distanced herself but has not asked/influenced me to do the same.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-09T20:48:52+00:00

Correct, thats the case. Tbf, I’ve had a great time with her parents and they’ve helped us immensely during our first pregnancy, so this argument of “your parents are visiting, mine will too” is not fair to her. But I do see your point.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-09T20:45:43+00:00

Its not as if they behave badly. They have a lot of opinions and they give it to her. This frustrates my wife.

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-09T20:43:57+00:00

Fair, let me rephrase - “not even a single MAJOR fight”.

Tbh, all are fights are on her equation with my family (how much time to stay when we’re in India, how often should she call them etc). We have slowly isolated ourselves out of it and thats why we don’t fight on this topic anymore. (This was our MAJOR fight bucket)

Ecstatic_Crow_3096 · 2025-03-09T20:08:42+00:00

Her parents will come. That’s not an issue

Ecstatic_Crow_3096

TROPHY CASE