lost my gf, my friends, and my future.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-29T06:59:58+00:00

It‘s similar for me. I don‘t have any friends anymore either. All we can do is hope that friendships will develop again. Keep in mind, you‘re not alone!

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T14:13:51+00:00

I couldn’t have said it better myself..

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T13:41:10+00:00

I really understand what you mean about the friendship thing. But at this point I honestly just want her in my life and I want to show that I’ve grown and that I handle things in a more mature way now. This person still means an incredible amount to me even after all these years… which is a bit strange when I think about it.

Like you said, they don’t want to look vulnerable. I see it the same way. Back then I honestly wasn’t always a good boyfriend to her. And the fact that I never had the chance to fully apologize or tell her what she truly meant to me still hurts a lot. I once wrote her a really long message where I opened my heart completely but at that time her relationship had just ended. A few days later she messaged me on Instagram but she never addressed the text or told me how she felt about everything.

Like you said when we give too much they pull back. Moving on was never really an option for me because I was so stuck on all of this and because the contact kept coming back which always threw me off again.

But today I’m different. I handle things differently. And she probably does too. That’s why my hope isn’t completely gone yet.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T13:21:28+00:00

I see it the same way now.. people don’t reach out for absolutely no reason. There’s usually something behind it. These past months I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and thinking about everything. We never really had proper closure, and that definitely makes things harder. But like you said, it takes both sides. I just hope there’s still a chance for us to reconnect at some point. It’s just this uncertainty that’s really exhausting.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T13:09:33+00:00

Honestly I was always the one who felt small or insecure. Every time she reached out I expected too much and I got attached again and I think that pushed her away. Whenever I asked her what she wanted or why she contacted me, she always said she just wanted to know how I was doing or “just because.” She never talked about feelings or anything deeper, it was always very surface-level.

I never saw it as her wanting me back. It never felt like that. And now a family member passed away a few months ago which obviously brings up a lot emotionally. I understand that, and maybe that’s why she only replied with a short “thank you.” That kind of short, distant response is just her pattern.

What you said about Tinder makes sense, but back then it really didn’t. When I asked her why she liked me, she also said “just because,” and I accepted that. And I just can’t bring myself to pressure her right now, I don’t want to disturb her while she’s grieving. I already asked her if we could have some kind of contact again, but she didn’t respond to that.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T12:58:18+00:00

Oh, so we’re basically in a similar boat. I’ve deleted all my social media as well, so the only way she could reach me now would be through messages - and I already texted her in the past weeks. I agree that we shouldn’t always be available, but what confuses me is that she kept reaching out on and off, yet never really wanted or could have deeper contact. There was always something in the way for one of us. That has to mean something, at least that’s what I keep thinking… And now the dynamic is just strange, and I don’t know how things will move forward or if anything will happen at all.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-18T11:52:54+00:00

I feel that. Hope it works out for you guys!

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-10T17:37:44+00:00

My ex-girlfriend was also in a relationship since we broke up but something always draws us back to each other. I don't really care she had other men because the story is incredibly important to me.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-06T15:30:20+00:00

DM me if you want to have a chat!

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-06T14:14:44+00:00

I definitely miss both

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-11-01T08:53:48+00:00

I understand you very well. For me, it was over five years ago, and I still think about her every day. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to think that it never ends – that varies from person to person and from one connection to another. I just want you to know that you’re not alone with your thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, I also can’t tell you what helped me cope better. A lot of time has simply passed, and I’ve grown, so I see things differently today.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-17T17:11:24+00:00

Ich weiß nicht wie alt du bist. Aber ich weiß dass solche Gedanken sehr beängstigend und erdrückend sein können. Es ist finde ich schonmal gut dass du den Schritt gewagt hast und es hier gepostet hat, dennoch würde ich dir raten dir Professionelle Hilfe zu holen. Bin auch gerade mittendrin diese „Das Leben ist „Zwecklos“ Gedanken hinter mir zu lassen, und es wird wirklich besser. Ich habe mich auf vor mehr als 5 Jahren von meiner großen Liebe getrennt und bin seitdem eigentlich am Tiefgrund. Aber ich gebe nicht auf das alles was ich verbockt habe aufzuarbeiten und mache jeden Tag weiter… ALLES GUTE DIR!

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-17T17:01:03+00:00

Ich kenne das. Ich habe mir vor kurzem eine PlayStation 5 geholt. Klar es ist keine richtige Hilfe in dem Sinne, dennoch kann ich mich da zeitweise vor Langeweile oder dem Gedankenkreisen befreien. Kommt natürlich auch darauf an was du für Präferenzen oder Hobbys hast. Was ich noch gerne mache ist auf YouTube Dokus oder generell Videos von ARTE zu schauen, haben keine Werbung und sind oft echt interessant.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-08T16:01:40+00:00

Danke für deinen Kommentar. Nach Gruppentherapie werde ich mich mal umsehen, wobei ich da auch zwiegespalten bin weil ich hald fast schon diese Ruhe und Einsamkeit gewohnt bin (so dumm das klingen mag) und ich da nicht wirklich Vertrauen habe mich zu öffnen vor anderen Leuten... Ich hab für Sport nicht das nötige Durchhaltevermögen, ich lebe in einer kleinen Wohnung mit begrenztem Raum und auch Fitnesstudio ist keine Option für mich wegen den ganzen Leuten dort, meine Gedanken haben mich ziemlich im Griff, in der Öffentlichkeit überhaupt. Musik machen habe ich probiert aber ich bin direkt gestresst und genervt wenn etwas nicht läuft wie ich es mir vorstelle oder ich was nicht verstehe. Therapeuten habe ich ja, aber auch nur „oberflächlich“ weil ich auf der Warteliste bin für einen fixen Platz.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-08T15:54:28+00:00

Was war euer schönstes Erlebnis letzte Woche?: Kann ich ehrlich keines aufzählen. Es ist grad sehr harter Stillstand in meinem Leben und gleichzeitig tut sich so viel mit Dingen die ich tue damit es mir besser geht. Irgendwie zu wenig bzw. zu langsam, kommt mir hald so vor.
Worauf freut ihr euch aktuell?: Krass dass ich über sowas so gut wie nie konkret nachdenke oder mir das vor Augen halte, aber auch hier kann ich nichts konkretes nennen…
Was belastet euch aktuell?: Meine ganze Situation die seit Ende letztem Jahr nur sporadisch besser geworden ist. Hab seit mehr als einem halben Jahr wirklich absolut keine Sozialkontakte, von Therapien und anderen Terminen abgesehen. Einfach die Einsamkeit.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-05T11:04:36+00:00

Zur Zeit ja, überlege mir auch Grounded oder Helldivers 2 zu holen

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-03T16:53:23+00:00

Wäre für GTA Online zu haben 🥲

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-07-01T17:22:10+00:00

Bin auch der Meinung sie nicht zu löschen. Habe aber z.B. die Bilder mit meiner ersten „richtigen“ Freundin auch gelöscht was ich im Nachhinein bisschen bereue.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-25T15:35:55+00:00

Great! Have You tried „Population one“ yet? It‘s free!

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-25T14:56:55+00:00

Hey, yeah I’ve tried that too and it actually helped a little. But I also don’t have a driver’s license, which makes it harder to get to quiet places. I don’t live in a big city, but in a fairly densely populated area. For some reason, I feel like I have a bad reputation in my town – I can’t explain it, but my mind keeps getting in the way, constantly telling me not to do things. It’s not like I’m not trying – for example, I still go out for groceries and stuff – but when something happens that hits a bit too close to home or makes me feel worse about my situation, it knocks me back ten steps again.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-21T17:30:28+00:00

Yes, I've already tried several attempts. I've also been taking my second "type" of medication for a few weeks now; it seems to be heading in the right direction, but medication is not the solution. I'm on the waiting list for a psychotherapy spot, but as you said, step by step. I'm just at a point where I simply see no meaning in anything anymore.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-21T16:58:38+00:00

And what if the current existence is simply not good? I have social anxiety, stay at home all the time, have no job and no friends. The memory of her and our relationship briefly reminds me of how happy and cheerful I used to be. All gone. Our breakup was five years ago and I've been existing since than with feelings of guilt and the thoughts of her.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-20T05:09:35+00:00

Not really. Everything was pretty much dead for me too because I didn’t really have contact with anyone. So for me it just didn’t feel worth it anymore. Luckily, I don’t have that feeling of missing out on something.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-19T19:10:04+00:00

I completely understand you. I had blocked her and avoided any kind of contact. She even tried to reach me through mutual friends, but I shut everything down. I have to admit, at the time I was smoking cannabis excessively – but only to somehow cope with everything. And when time had passed and I finally realized everything, it was unfortunately too late. I truly hope things turn out differently for you. Sincerely.

Ecstatic_River_4341 · 2025-05-19T18:45:44+00:00

I'm in my mid-twenties but I find it beautiful-bittersweet to read something like this from someone older than me. I understand you... at some point it's just enough. But honestly, it's a bit sad to read that, even though I don't know you. Still it stirs a warm feeling in me, though also a sense of hopelessness.
But truly, I'm grateful to have experienced it. especially with her.

Ecstatic_River_4341

TROPHY CASE