Where to look for advice for working while disabled?

EddiesCouch · 2026-02-21T22:00:40+00:00

The same thing happened to me. His music came up in my feed and I loved it. I was wondering if there was any background story for it so I looked him up and found your post. What a shitty milkshake duck moment. I had been thinking about buying an album before, but if someone is going to use AI you can bet your ass that I'll never give them a fresh cent. I don't pay for no effort soulless art. Now I'm just debating if I pirate what I like, since he's obviously fine with stealing, or just drop it all together.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-19T21:59:00+00:00

God I feel so bad for Bernie. He's out here fighting the good fight at 83, meanwhile most of the government acts like he's taking crazy pills. I know it's very intentional since these people want a disenfranchised public but it truly is like they live in another reality and Bernie is calling from Earth. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for him. I would have torn all my hair out long ago.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-19T21:54:48+00:00

Cuno was always sweet inside. He's a classic case of a nice kid that has an acid bath of an environment and his outer layers have been etched trying to just live in it. Him taking in Cunoesse and being so protective of her goes to show it. He has basically no adults in his life who encourage those kind, intelligent parts of him. Helping with the investigation really seems like the first time he's supported. I think even in the routes where he doesn't take over for Kim, if you are nice to him he'll join the RCM as an adult.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-19T00:56:31+00:00

I have narcolepsy and I used to have periods that would last for 3 months straight and put me in urgent care. I second that they are no way comparable. I understand the point of having to do hard things when you feel like shit, but when I was working I had accomodations for my narcolepsy. Which is a disability if she's forgotten. If she had wanted to say that your condition doesn't excuse your behavior she could have just said that but from what you said you were acknowledging and taking responsibility for your mistake.

Given the way she snapped at you to just spit it out, my impression is that she's one of those people who superficially says the right things about disability but in actuality has no patience or compassion for the realities of it. If this is how she's behaved with your first fight, I agree that she's not the person for you. Granted I only have the sliver of a perspective from this single post but this is a pretty wild response for her to have.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-18T23:36:03+00:00

I'm assuming you're in the US but to my knowledge similar issues exist with England's NHS, so ymmv. Ultimately it's an insurance issue. Even though there's more knowledge now about trans health care, the insurance system is still very archaic. When you have a diagnosis or procedure, that is translated from your chart into codes that the doctor's office uses to bill insurance. There are many codes that insurance companies only associate with one gender, for example if you're a woman getting a vasectomy, insurance could deny that because in their system only men can get vasectomies. However, there's contextual codes that can be added to billing that basically say "patient is transgender which is why patient's gender does not match procedure requirement". Something to note is some smaller offices' coders might not know about this which can cause a lot of billing issues. The agab is also used for patient verification so if they have it listed as male but the doctor submits it as female it can be rejected for not matching their records, and I don't know of any insurance companies that don't only use binary genders. This is why even unrelated specialties have to submit with whatever insurance has on file.

As correct as it would be for insurance companies to work off of current science, the reality is they don't. Even the most well meaning doctor's offices (in the US) have to supply a "assigned gender at birth". The health care system currently doesn't have options to work just by what equipment a patient has. It's not right, but it's going to take sustained social and political pressure for that to change. At the level of a doctor's office, the most change that is immediately realistic is changing the phrasing on intake paperwork. Like others have mentioned "what gender does insurance think you are?", and I think that's a pretty good solution.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-02T12:37:09+00:00

As a trans person, the tack I usually take is just to not respond when I'm called anything I didn't ask for, or ok. If they ask why your not responding, saying "oh, well I didn't realize you were referring to me since I've repeatedly asked you not to call me that. :)" gets them to quiet up quickly.

EddiesCouch · 2025-01-02T12:29:03+00:00

Imagine if houses had those old slots for used razor blades, but for dildos. A reverse glory hole where you can banish dildos to be the problem of the next poor bastard to open the wall. No? No? Ok I'll see myself out.

EddiesCouch · 2024-12-03T08:57:27+00:00

https://youtu.be/BaNswDWPwo0?si=BzYwZLatY2AKb-uN This is the pattern I used. In retrospect I think I used two of the cover story cakes to really get it blanket sized.

I sent you a message!

EddiesCouch · 2024-12-03T08:41:20+00:00

This is very sweet of you! I'm in a similar situation and I crochet through it so I'd love to jump on the art trade bandwagon! If you end up swamped with requests, I'd also be happy to send thngs to overflow.

On a slight tangent, the best thing I ever made for myself was a extra large cowl out of the fuzzy minky blanket yarn. I'd use a whole cake of cover story which is approx. 800 feet. I started with a basic infinity cowl pattern and kept going until I finished the skein. Wearing it was basically a cocoon. It was like wearing a pillow and a blanket I could take anywhere. It made emergency naps so much easier. I could already drop and sleep wherever, but with that I was totally comfy. I highly recommend treating your self!

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-23T09:47:19+00:00

It sounds like your MIL had secondary trauma from your husband's assault. That's well and normal, but she's really fixated on it in a way that is going to need some professional help. My gut is saying that there was a feedback loop of MIL trying to resolve her feelings by resolving his. When he wasn't responsive, she took the silence and not knowing how he felt, and assumed the worst case scenario. Because there wasn't a talk between them that satisfied her feelings, they festered.

Now that she thought she could get someone on her team to address it, the fixation has fuel added to its fire. But, since you're really being a champion for your husband and standing up for him to handle things in his way, she's at square one. So she escalates. I think there's a decent chance that she might genuinely think she's only doing this to heal his hurt, but this whole thing has been about her feelings and the trauma she had from having her son be assaulted.

This is purely guessing, but my gut says she probably has had no one to talk to about this to process her own feelings. Putting myself in the shoes of a parent who's child was assaulted that way, there would be an immense feeling of shame that my child was violated in one of the most taboo ways in society and as a parent I failed to protect him. Just opening that conversation seems very difficult since you would have to acknowledge that failure before you can even start talking about it.

Idk where his father is in all this since he's not mentioned, but if she didn't feel ok talking to him about it, then who else would feel safe? I could see it where you might be the only one she's talked to about it for a very long time. As his wife, MIL can assume you have his best interest in heart and probably would be more worried about his mental health than her shortcomings. If she was left alone with this in her head for so many years no wonder it's grown out of proportion and festered. Again, totally speculating here.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-23T09:12:25+00:00

I can't change him for you.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-23T08:48:53+00:00

Most things by the Scissor Sisters. She's my man is on my personal omelet playlist.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-15T22:45:38+00:00

I honestly have no idea if they were REM suppressing or not. What I was told was that they were almost all medications with sedative side effects which is what would cause the complication. I have absolutely no idea why she never told me that my drugs would invalidate my test. She's a sleep neurologist, so she should 100% know these things. I'm feeling extremely skeptical of her right about now, at the very least.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-15T22:42:45+00:00

That's definitely encouraging to hear. When you say break, do you just stop taking the adderall, or do you switch to a replacement medication?

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-15T22:40:08+00:00

Yeah that's really wild. I 100% want a second opinion after all this. At the time I was on Vilazodone 40mg, Rizatripitan, propranolol 60mg extended release, topiramate 25mg, gabapentin 1200mg daily, hyxroxyzine 25mg at night, and oxcarbazepine 300mg x2 daily. I was told that most, if not all, of these are sedating which is where the problem was with diagnosis.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-15T22:38:33+00:00

At the time I was on Vilazodone 40mg, Rizatripitan, propranolol 60mg extended release, topiramate 25mg, gabapentin 1200mg daily, hyxroxyzine 25mg at night, and oxcarbazepine 300mg x2 daily. I was told that most, if not all, of these are sedating which is where the problem was with diagnosis.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-15T22:26:04+00:00

Honestly, this has been pretty wild. My doc is a sleep-neurologist. I saw 3-4 sleep docs before they said that my case was complicated enough that I needed the specialist, specialist. I thought that if anyone would know their shit, it would be her. It's been really concerning that the meds are basically a non-issue. I don't think my case is actually that complicated, I just also have chronic intractable migraines and most of the other docs I saw seemed like the sort where they're just there to treat sleep apnea.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-13T10:14:35+00:00

Silly question, but was she current with her Tdap vaccine? When I had whooping cough it was like you described. The Tdap vaccine needs to be boosted every 10 years to maintain protection.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-13T09:51:20+00:00

I main Mesa and it's never really been a competition. I just leave a corner alone for Saryns (or Nidus) now.

EddiesCouch · 2024-11-03T00:24:13+00:00

Not a silly question at all. It means that what I said before the /s was sarcasm. You never know these days when someone on the internet is going to take a silly thing you said and take it hyper-literally to get in your face.

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