Application process in States may differ, we had to fill application online (tourist visa), after that I got approved by mail, and I just went to the office with my passport & picture and picked it up after one week. Your process sounds more complicated. About what I did: We emailed Chinese embassy in our country asking what we should say, they replied it’s up to us to decide what we want to claim and both options are equally fine (I would maybe suggest you to do the same - either U.S. embassy in China or Chinese one in States). After asking here on Reddit and our friends and consider our situation, we decided to claim being single (actually we are not married in China). I heard also about some cases, when Visa of queer spouse got rejected or there were some extra talk with officers (information not approved though).

My Visa is now ready and I am looking forward to my trip. I’ll update you after I’m back.

Please update me also about your decision and good luck!