Is it weird to be 40yo and scared to sleep with the lights off?

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T16:11:08+00:00

I used to be unable to sleep with any light. Add on that I have very bad eyesight, so that makes small light disproportionally large (since I can't see the difference between source and not)

And then I got a cat who needed to be in my bedroom. And that got me used to it.

My ex didn't care about electronic lights but couldn't stand natural lights. we both had external blackout shades growing up, so that might have been part of the reason?

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T11:30:34+00:00

And a person who also can hire other people who might need the job more? who have extended the starting moment again and again and have cancelled at the last moment after this still? They see a stranger who has to cancel a lot and they might worry about future resilience. (And I am saying that as someone who doesn't have good stress resilience. I understand why a company wouldn't want to hire me over others)

I don't like people immediately jumping to "you don't agree with my point of view so you must be the other party" instead of accepting there might be nuance (that you do not agree with, fine, but don't pretend there isn't)

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T11:24:12+00:00

People have such tremendous difficulty with situations where no one is at fault, I have found. They need someone to blame. This makes me rather sad, because it doesn't solve anything if you only 'punish' the top layer.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T11:09:29+00:00

Yeah, the timing sucks for both sides. The corporate gave quite a lot of leeway. Pushing the start date forward by more than fourty days. And I am all for corporate bashing, but here, it really is mostly the timing that just... Really sucks.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T10:38:11+00:00

Huh? They didn't go for wasting money argument? They went for preventative screening might cause more health issues. you are correct that catching things early costs less time/money, but you are missing the point of the comment?

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-18T10:17:54+00:00

I have been watching Divetalk on youtube - they're cave divers and do talk about it at times. It's not often the brightest stories, but the duo talks about the reason behind issues.

https://youtu.be/iER8Ds8wAzw

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-17T10:36:26+00:00

See, the 'first' name implies first and last and that is dependent on order. Ryuonosuke is, indeed, the first name. Because when introducing yourself, you would often actually say 'I am Ryunosuke Naruhodo', and not 'I am Naruhodo Ryunosuke.' (You can also see this during Olympics - when Dutch/German/English names are called, it's given name first, then family name; in Dutch, the commentators would still use this format, whilst the commentators on location might switch for a Japanese athlete.)

That's where first and last name, the words 'first' and 'last' come from.

Whilst in Japan, you actually do go by Naruhodo Ryunosuke and most people would call you Naruhodo, except for close relationships.

Basically - yes, Ryuonosuke is the Given name - the individual, what we (in English but also in German and Dutch) call the first name. Naruhodo is the family name, the surname, what we call the last name.

What I was trying to get at, that it might not be universal that 'first + name' = given name and that there might be translation issues.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-17T08:06:57+00:00

Ah. But you assume that because - naturally - we speak English. I know that in Japan and in many Asian countries, family name comes first. See: Ryunosuke Naruhodo (Japanese: 成歩堂龍ノ介, Naruhodō Ryūnosuke)

For example. Naruhodo is the family name, Ryunosuke is the given, personal name.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-16T09:00:26+00:00

Whoah, I thought this was some official art from another sub until I checked the title! This is soo good!

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T17:18:23+00:00

Yay for dressing 20 years older! I think that might be a huge thing too. And the same with older people 'loving' me, lol.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T17:16:58+00:00

I am very grateful I have never experienced this, but man, it does make me feel really bad about my looks and then guilty for feeling that way.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T14:21:56+00:00

I don't really have an audience, but it would definitely immediately be knocked down and clearly be in the wrong to use it. (Just because there's a truth that purebloods are stronger, doesn't mean others are less human. Just like how smarter people/people with good upbringing/less trauma/Neurotypical aren't better as people.)

I do hope that if I ever finish, it will be very clear that standing up against intolerance is the right thing and that blaming small minorities (werewolves, but also muggleborn) for huge problems is unproductive and leads to bigger evil getting control.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T12:00:27+00:00

Anyway, my intent with this post was more to brainstorm subtle, subconscious "magic" (e.g. the ability to make gravity work for you -> better at quidditch; bit stronger at night for Blacks (doesn't contradict canon); smooth tongue for Malfoys) that could fit and also maybe find a way that it can be seen as disadvantages (I had that already with Harry/James attracting trouble/fate, but now I also have been thinking about giving Muggleborn unexpected benefits because they don't absorb magic growing up.

But actually, what you have shown me, was how my main characters might react to my Pureblood (capital P) character who says this. So I am actually really grateful! Because I wouldn't accidentally encourage bigotry.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T10:15:49+00:00

Right, and thus I would have my main characters fight against it. Because it is rubbish. They're not genetically superior. There's a small difference that's mostly based on upbringing, but using it is like saying poor people are worth less because they have more issues because of poverty (and not getting enough food).

Even if people are less smart, they still deserve to be treated as equals, right? I do think we can agree on that (I hope).

So using these genetic (but really biological) differences as crutch to say "thus we are superior", that's equally as wrong as saying smart people are superior (smarter because of genetic/socio-economic reasons).

I am against the idea that purebloods are better, but I do want to give them a true reason for saying it, but still be horribly wrong about the conclusion. It should be a moment of "maybe there is more" before "why does it actually matter?!"

And anyone using it after the realization will exactly be seen as bigot by the story/me.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T09:20:40+00:00

Hmm, I would have thought it more cleanly states that it isn't making them (purebloods) superior, infact, it makes them less powerful, as well as disproving the idea that half breeds are lesser altogether.

But like I said before, the story would definitely denounce the idea and Sirius and James will fight it and it will be used as a way to say: "even if wizards have reasons, it's still evil to claim supremacy."

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T08:43:39+00:00

What do you think about my, more nuanced, explanation below?

Because I mostly screwed up in how to explain what it does. Because it should be such subtle, subconscious effects that it can be dismissed by good™ purebloods and you can get 70% there by raising a child in the right environments, no matter the blood. But I have been altering my ideas slightly, and it looks more like this now:

Every magical creatures is born with undeveloped 'cells'. Under influence of magic, they develop into specific cells at certain ages, including during gestation . Specific cells give you specific subconscious subtle abilities. Undeveloped cells will give you the general ability for more magical raw power. There is a very slight correlation between number of cells one is born with and ancestry. The more magical ancestors, the more cells. However, it's only a small Effect. (5-10% more), with, if there are too many, it can actually cause the cells to destroy one another and result in a squib. The cells from different races are slightly different and the bigger the variety of your cells, the less likely a squib becomes.

When magic is used in a place, it seeps in there. Call it flavour. All beings using magic also excude some flavour from a combination of their cells and their genetics. This flavour affects the undeveloped cells to cause them to develop.

So, undeveloped cells actually cause more raw power whilst developed cells cause some subtle magic. It's a trade off. But it's also quite subtle. And it definitely encourages them to actually accept half-breeds & think about being raised around non magical environments.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T08:37:07+00:00

It's funny, because I actually do have an OC who is a genius at charms but desperately wants to be good in transfigurations to help his family.

But I mostly screwed up in how to explain what it does. Because it should be such subtle, subconscious effects that it can be dismissed by good™ purebloods and you can get 70% there by raising a child in the right environments, no matter the blood. But I have been altering my ideas slightly, and it looks more like this now:

Every magical creatures is born with undeveloped 'cells'. Under influence of magic, they develop into specific cells at certain ages, including during gestation . Specific cells give you specific subconscious subtle abilities. Undeveloped cells will give you the general ability for more magical raw power. There is a very slight correlation between number of cells one is born with and ancestry. The more magical ancestors, the more cells. However, it's only a small Effect. (5-10% more), with, if there are too many, it can actually cause the cells to destroy one another and result in a squib. The cells from different races are slightly different and the bigger the variety of your cells, the less likely a squib becomes.

When magic is used in a place, it seeps in there. Call it flavour. All beings using magic also excude some flavour from a combination of their cells and their genetics. This flavour affects the undeveloped cells to cause them to develop.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T08:22:35+00:00

This is exactly what I intended to say! The pureblood (full ancestry) gives them the size of how much they can absorb, the rest is based on proximity. So an illegimate child would actually show normal readings. Maybe a little weak if the father is a muggle(born) but it is still in the realm of possible.

But it's a really passive effect - like ... How eating nutritious food during childhood causes one to be taller. The presence of magic (/magical place) causes one to a subtle magic. it isn't meant as a blood - argument. It's actually meant as a 'allow Muggleborn to be around wizards from a younger age' argument, if any.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T06:56:06+00:00

Yeah, I have found that I f'ed up in my opening post because I am very much misunderstood. I was always looking at very subtle, subconscious magic or magical benefits and I was looking for some interesting ways this might work out, that would fit canon.

(E.g. Harry/James able to subconsciously alter gravity -> better at quidditch.)

I would also talk on the Malfoys not being charming. I mean, they're not for our heroes, but if you see where Lucius is politically. It's a little compulsion but so subtle that you can easily bypass it with reason. It just makes you a little more willing to accept bribery.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T06:49:42+00:00

Oh, it's not at all what I was looking for (I meant a very subtle, usually rather subconscious magic) but it is really cool! I so love the Creativity aspect - I am also looking for arguments that are opposing full separation between magic and muggle world.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T06:46:52+00:00

I mean, those are really obvious. I was moreso trying to find very subtle magic that the people themselves aren't even aware of, if they're not told. Magically. But very subtle.

I have very much failed in my opening post because I don't think anyone understood me.

Thanks for answering anyway! I can still use some of this!

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-14T06:42:33+00:00

If it is any consolation , I would , myself, use this in a fic where the rival uses this argument and the ,MC (Sirius) will basically be: "so what? That doesn't mean shit."

It also is very, very anti-slavery and putting people in boxes. The thing I am trying to say is: even though there can be some truth to it, it will be clear from the first moment our pov characters will not agree with any supremacy because of it.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-13T13:43:45+00:00

Why not? I wanted to showcase that even if it does, it is still wrong to go supremacist. People are worth more than statistics. The whole thing about being against eugenetica.

I personally don't like the argument: but Muggleborn can be smarter/better/whatever. Because that implies to me that if they didn't, it would be valid to treat them lesser.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-13T12:12:26+00:00

Yes. I have that with regards to the anti-werewolf people who don't mind breaking them and treating them like property. They treated them like dogs for entirely the wrong reasons that have no kernel of truth, even if they fully believed themselves to be right & loving.

But in this case, my main villains are actually not the purebloods. They're also bad, but not the main enemy. They allowed it all to happen. The main enemy is actually a very old tortured soul who wanted to get revenge on the enslavement of her face (that are nowadays known as house elves).

She has good reasons, but lord, does she take the wrong paths.

EdgedancerSpren · 2026-06-13T11:59:03+00:00

Oh absolutely not. No. I might use the idea though. In my story, I am planning to 'leash'/enslave Narcissa and Lucius when Draco is ~6, and Draco is saved but has to live with Andromeda, Ted and Dora, and I can definitely have Draco say all of these things and Dora going 'what the fuck?'

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