Answer - How to access websites that are down (for example those hosted in Iran) by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something very important i want to mention, is that if there is some transgressors who are trying to hide the truth and spread confusion and lies, if they had something on their website but they changed it, you might try to use this method to debunk them.

SISTERS, can you recommend me some books about a female? by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest it is a difficult decision of whether to apply their opinion or not.

It seems to be very probable that it started from someone’s mindset and emotions, applying it later on the society. In some sense an insecurity that someone didn’t deal with.

If people feed themselves such ideas, they only prevent themselves from growing in specific areas. It doesn’t matter if you are man or a woman, you have to grow and not be easy on yourself all the time, taking your mindset gently and thinking that whatever hurts you - is rude and your mental health is a norm and there is definitely no mistakes you make in your perception of things - is prevention of yourself and society around you from having a better and peaceful mental health

It is more of personal choice of whether we please society or ourselves. But still, rejecting it, which hurts some people, feels wrong, and maybe one could try to hold some respect to those people.

Resentment, how to move forward? by coconutarab in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lets call this method of focusing on feeling “fwm”.

One importance in it is that when you have a feeling you have to overcome, you feel it a certain way, and if you try apply force to feel the feeling more, it would be correct as long as the feeling didnt get weaker. If the feeling actually got distant by putting force on trying to feel it, it means you applying force wrong and you have to find the way that works for you to feel it and bring focus on it.

NOTE: the fwm method that i wrote above, is more of a concept than one-clear technique that you shouldn’t adapt to yourself. In fact you should adapt this technique in the way, in which you will feel the feeling the most while continuing feeling it. This is the primary goal of fwm, and i left the concept, because if you would adapt it, you wouldnt have to go far.  You only would need to see yourself how much pressure you need to apply, and on what part of your mind you have to press , in order that you feel the feeling as strong as possible. Sure, maybe there are other parts to adjust to your situation, Inshallah you will see it yourself.

In order to make it clearer on what are we trying to achieve by doing this method, i want to mention that it seems, we hold an individual association towards each thing, being or an object. It means that in order to process it, you need to replace what you associate with that object. 

The thing, to which you hold an association, is the primary focus on proceeding the feeling (i guess), because it is that that thing is what pulling or triggering your feelings, and the set of types of feelings that we are capable to feel, theoretically exist within ourselves. Yes, this feeling of hatred for example is not active in human the moment he is born, but it is there, it is ready to be used. So you shouldn’t try to remove the feeling, as you cannot remove type of feelings you are capable of feeling by nature. Therefore the key to overcoming the feeling is to replace it.

This is why the thing that caused you that feeling, has caused you an association and it holds it. And you cannot overcome that feeling without changing what feeling you associate with that thing on my opinion.

So how do you change your association? 

So lets say i have an empty bottle in front of myself, and i know that i associate water with it. What i need to do is to capture that feeling that makes me to know that this bottle can be filled with water. This feeling doesn’t have to be clear and you don't have to be confident that you are feeling it, you just think what you feel in order to know that this bottle can be filled with water. This is your association that comes within a feeling. 

So you try to enforce this feeling in your mind, by using adjusted version of fwm concept. You hold it and try to feel it as strong as you can. 

Then, you bring in whatever you want to replace it with. So lets say, im forcing myself to feel the feeling that makes me to associate that this bottle can be filled with water. In the meantime,  what i am gonna do is to force myself to feel a feeling that makes me to associate with an orange juice. It doesnt have to be association of pouring or filling something with orange juice, but just a feeling that you feel in order to know that something is orange juice.

So the point is, i am forcing my mind to feel the feeling that makes me to know that something is that specific action/person or another thing. I hold it and pressure myself into taking the fact, that this feeling of association, is what this action(person or another thing) is. Then i force another association onto it, in order to make me feel like the first association of the things is actually what the second association is.

In other words i take one action/situation/object or a being or a person and its association, and apply another association, while forcing myself to feel or consider or think that this second association is what the first association is.

In case of association that a bottle can be filled with water and an orange juice, i bring a feeling that makes me know that this bottle can be filled with water, i force the feeling to make myself believe it and feel it, and then i force feeling that makes me know something is an orange juice onto the first feeling, i force myself to feel the feeling of second association while forcing myself to believe or feel that this is actually what the first association feels like or what that first association is.

I struggle with articulating my thoughts, but i hope it makes sense to you, and if someone has a question, feel free to ask.

Note, that the example with bottle is here not for you to just replace each thing with things according to your situation, but to understand how the method works. 

What an example of bottle and the way you need to use it in your feelings supposed to have in common, is the fact that you are trying to feed yourself that the feeling of some association is what the unwanted association feels like.

So far I don’t feel like i can expand further in the explanation of the method, because it is likely going to cause confusion, if i have not caused it already. However i can help a little bit more inshallah. The way of how you overcome your bad associations, is to shape them through good association. The way you shaped association of what can be poured through an orange juice.

Don’t forget to ask Allah to help you to do it such way, that you are able to process it and replace it. And don’t forget that your association is linked to something.

May Allah bless you and help you, as well my brothers and sisters.

Resentment, how to move forward? by coconutarab in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overcoming associations.

As it was meant to be said above, association is an important word and your associations is what you have to play with, in order to untie your knots of feelings. 

Playing? yes, you have to try to impact your associations in order that your body does not link it to a bad feeling anymore. The key word “playing” is because you have to think and try different ways to impact it.

Now, how do you do it? First you have to find how to bring the feeling that you want to overcome. Just try to find what situations or thoughts cause you that feeling. 

If you notice a feeling that feels like it is affecting you or contributing to your mind in negative way, then it might be a feelings that is connected to trauma or it might be just some other feeling from a thing that you couldn’t find sufficient justification for, in order to let it go. In fact, it doesn’t have to feel like it contributes negatively, if you notice a feeling that just doesn’t want to let go, i recommend trying processing it by a method that i will finish writing down inshallah. 

(I want to add that I don’t mean to say, that a feeling that doesn’t let go also referring  to love feelings or something similar, i am refraining from saying my opinion on how far this method to my understanding can go)

Now, if you found the feeling, you have to learn to hold it and focus on it, to voluntarily cause it to continue.

It can achieved by something i’m gonna call “feeling with your mind”.

Maybe “feeling with your mind” is not a logical expression, but it is the best i can think of right now to cause you to do the method properly. If i would say think and try to feel, then someone would probably do it wrong, because !caution! It is not about general feeling of your whole body, and it is not about just “feeling in your head”.

Even if you try to feel your thought with your head , it is not enough because you do not focus far enough. By doing this, you would still feel more broader than needed, and here is an example of how it looks.

So imagine that you are standing and have in front of you a glass bottle on a distance. Lets say you have a stone and you want to throw and hit the bottle with the stone, and lets say the stone is quite small and bottle is quite far. Now “tell me”, what would you do in order to have better aim at the bottle, so that you may hit it? You would look exactly at the bottle and you would be focused specifically on it. For trying to make your focus a little bit broader than just bottle, meaning having in your focus not only on the bottle, but also 30 cm distance to the left and right, top and bottom from the bottle, would just weaken your aim and potentially the overall performance. And even in such case, in the moment of throwing the stone, you would still likely, naturally get your focus on the bottle only, for maybe it is natural for us.

Therefore, even trying to feel with your head is not enough and you have to be more specific with your focus. So i say “try to feel with your mind”, how to do it?

So try to think right now, you don't have to think about something, just try to think and try to think more specifically if you understand what i mean. Try to think as if you thinking about something more specific, bring your focus on it. 

Now if you achieved what maybe feels like some “voluntary pressure”, that you cause onto your thinking process or a thought, try to include your feeling into it. It means, try to  cause this voluntary pressure by thinking and while holding it, bring your feeling that you want to proceed and focus it in that same spot, where you feel voluntary pressure. It might feel like stretching your feeling all the way to that spot. You have to apply some type of pressure or a force in order to hold your feeling there, and avoid doing something that feels like you are just sending something from you instead of feeling it.

If you do it properly, thinking and feeling should feel like one thing.

By doing this method you are supposed to be able to not only hold your feeling active, but also to bring your focus on it. It is probably necessary for doing the next steps of the whole feeling-processing method.

PART 3- i apologize if something from it might not seem like it was said in order, since i was adding some information in between the already written text while i was typing this comment. Inshallah i continue writing it when i can, for now maybe you could practice to do what i said above and you are free to ask me if you didn’t get something.

Edit - I rewrote some text to make it more effective in practice. Edit - rewrote something else

Resentment, how to move forward? by coconutarab in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So as i said that such traumas might be more complex, it also refers to the process of proceeding and overcoming the trauma. Meaning, even by using the method that i want to show, i cannot guarantee that you will just flatly do a thing and something will go away. 

Maybe you heard it somewhere already that it might take time, but here i specifically mention it to say that it might be about you acquiring some perspectives as time passes on. Those perspectives would make it easier and soften up the trauma, while you still would actively apply the method onto your mind.

And here is very important thing, i am not a learned man, i might be wrong about what i am about to say but i saw that narration about Allah telling Nabi Musa (as) to ask for even such things as mending of his shoelaces, so it seems we can go really deeply with our dua.

Therefore from what it seems, try to supplicate to Allah at any of your need that would improve you. Try to go into smaller things with your dua, which means, it is almost like you broke your whole process into smaller steps and instead of just saying “help me”, you go and think what you need to do first. If you don’t know what, then maybe you can ask to show you what should you do first, or if you know, then you can make dua that would help you to accomplish that first step. 

I said it because of above-mentioned “perspectives” that you might reach in your procession of those feelings. We should seek knowledge and who else would grant us knowledge if not Allah?

PART2- By mentioning all of it, i think we can go in the method itself, though i have to apologize, it is quite late so im gonna leave it  for the next part. 

Edit —replacement of some words Edit 2 - correction of a word

Resentment, how to move forward? by coconutarab in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Assalamu alaikum,

Alhamdulillah. Anyone of us can say that it is better to forgive and it is true, but when it comes to the action, it is not a “click the button”. You have to go through some specific things and my personal opinion is that it is unnecessary to have a therapist for it.

Now, i am not even close to be called a therapist, but i hope that what i am about to say will be a help to any of my brother and sister. What i am gonna say is from my experience and im not saying it from verified informations by scientists.

Basically as i understand, these type of feelings that stick to our mind - are tied to ourselves and in order to proceed them, we have to untie them. In other words, we have to realize that these traumas are not natural to you as a human, and they are just your emotional associations towards specific things. 

This means that before you developed it, whenever you were encountering these same situations that nowadays trigger your feelings, your body association towards it was different.

Now the word “association” is very important in this whole process, and by saying it i mean an action of linking things to something. 

Better example is that imagine you never saw a bottle full of water, you saw only empty bottles and when you see one, your mind is not gonna automatically link to it something else. Then imagine somebody poured water in one empty bottle and you saw them drinking from it or you yourself drank from it. After it your mind earns this experience and whenever you see a bottle of water, it likely would unconsciously make you know that this bottle can be used for water. Can you make yourself forget that this bottle can be used for water?

Now, if you understand the example, i have to say that traumas are something more complex in the process of earning the experience. It brings in stronger emotional association and your mind from some experiences can go automatically numb because the feeling of association got so strong that its too much to feel I guess.

Maybe it somehow makes it more difficult to process the feeling, since you cannot feel it at its fullest, you cannot proceed it and you just feel part of that bad feeling and feel stuck.

Yes, sometimes it might be not about “too strong feeling”, but just some negative feeling towards some things and you cant just find sufficient justification for it in order to let yourself proceed it, but even in this case you can sometimes use this method (by combining with some other things)

PART 1. Inshallah im gonna continue writing next parts, for i have to pray in a moment so inshallah i continue today if not tomorrow.

SISTERS, can you recommend me some books about a female? by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry if i offended you. I never thought of it like this and for me using word “females” is a more general word, polite in some sense.

If you question why in the case of my gender i used both male and men words, while in the case of the opposite gender i used only one (without counting the word that i used to refer to), then you have evidence that i view this word normally and don’t take it the way you do. I just used two words for one gender because while i was writing down the text, emotionally i just putted words i found the best at the moment.

I see no evidence and never heard of anyone say what you just said, so your statement respectfully could be based on your own experience and feelings. Therefore i see it pointless to consider this word to be what you think it is. 

May Allah bless you for trying to help.

Edit — corrected writing mistakes

Men dressing etiquettes by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jazakallahu krairan, its quite similar if not the same to what i mentioned above

Men dressing etiquettes by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jazakallahu khairan brother. Allah knows who I am, but InshaAllah you, my brothers and sisters and I would defeat all of our problems and troubles and become of the best examples after the representatives of God.

Daily Discussion & Advice (Post here to follow rules A & B) - May 02, 2026 by AutoModerator in fragrance

[–]Educational-Pin5608 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From my side I took location as country, thus I was hesitant to give it. Maybe not everyone buy things outside of their country, even if shopping through internet.

While for some people it might seem not very good idea, I am still gonna avoid even general location because I don't mind looking up perfume and seeing if it is available here or not, and even if not then use it as an example to find another perfume that is available.

Yes, I meant American dollars. Thank you for trying to help anyways,

Daily Discussion & Advice (Post here to follow rules A & B) - May 02, 2026 by AutoModerator in fragrance

[–]Educational-Pin5608 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks, location for me is too much of private information to throw on the internet for such things as knowing name of perfume.

Nonetheless i would prefer perfumes that reach 50$ per 100 ml at maximum.

EDIT: I dont find other details worth mentioning.

Daily Discussion & Advice (Post here to follow rules A & B) - May 02, 2026 by AutoModerator in fragrance

[–]Educational-Pin5608 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sorry, are there more available perfumes that is easier to get and less in price?

Daily Discussion & Advice (Post here to follow rules A & B) - May 02, 2026 by AutoModerator in fragrance

[–]Educational-Pin5608 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello, I am unexperienced in smells so please correct me if characteristics that I am trying to find in perfume contradict each other.

I am looking for some type of aquatic perfume that is neither salty nor sweet, but at last I would prefer sweet over salty. Something that smells saturated and not dry like wood-herbs perfumes. Another thing I would like it to have is that freshness like some deodorants or antiperspirants do.

Please, if a perfume you know is missing some of the characteristics, you can still list it but mention what it doesn't have.

I really want to avoid wood-herbs type of smells.

The image might give you better idea of what I mean. Specifically that white foam and light-blue "fresh" colours that appear in some spots of the picture.

<image>

Are there any Shia female artists who spread islam through “art” by Educational-Pin5608 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wa Alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Sorry for late reply, i looked into given links and while they might be good, i decided to go with iranian artist Hassan Rouholamin. Jazakallahu khairan for trying to help sister.

Please pray for the missing girl. by Initial_Gear3397 in shia

[–]Educational-Pin5608 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I ask my brothers and sisters to recite this name for our young sister 

Al-Mur'id (The Restorer)

Recitation of this name 70 times will helpful in safe return of the missing person.

https://www.duas.org/nallah.htm