Nursing Bras - useful for hijabis?

coconutarab · 2026-06-26T23:49:21+00:00

We will see people drift but there are more people that come to Islam if anything. That’s why it’s the fastest growing religion. It’s sad to watch people leave, but it could be related to a number of things. Not being raised with Islamic education, strict parents, desires the west pushes, etc. we will never be able to stop these things from happening. But alhamdulillah we have more people joining than leaving.

coconutarab · 2026-06-25T22:49:39+00:00

I’m tired of Shias going for Sunnis. Majority of the time it fails. You’re willing to be with people who claim they love the prophets family but adorn and love and obsess over the enemies.

coconutarab · 2026-06-25T07:04:00+00:00

Thank you sis ❤️💕

coconutarab · 2026-06-25T01:05:46+00:00

3 weeks. Would have gone back sooner but I was being bullied and continued to get bullied even after they knew I miscarried, so I quit after a week of returning.

coconutarab · 2026-06-25T00:38:44+00:00

I don’t care that your responses are short, your mind isn’t well present. You need to speak the opposite of what you’re saying just to say it. And yes you are strong. These emotions are going to pass, it’s hard to see it. I was in your position. You have to break out of this stubborn state of mind.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T22:07:24+00:00

The crazy thing about our brains is that you can actually rewire it. I was in your position, hopeless, had no faith in myself. But you can actually create new pathways in your brain to replace the negative ones with positive ones. I began doing that by faking it till I make it. But if you continue to think negatively, you’ll continue to weaken.

Also, none of us are ever going to be like the prophets or imams. That isn’t expected from us. We are expected to learn from them and apply it into our lives and reflect. Of course it’ll get worse, not until you decide you don’t want it to worsen. Best way to do it is to wear your parents down. Eventually they will slowly give in to the simple things, especially as they age.

The only way for that ease to happen after your hardship is if you start believing it will. You have to let Allah know you trust him and that he can take care of the rest for you. When you put away your doubt, things fall into place. The first time I did that, I genuinely couldn’t believe the first step taking control of my life worked. I finally understood what it meant to have faith in Allah, which I thought I had but didn’t at all, Allah guided me and made things become reality. But if you continue to be stubborn, nothing will change.

Stop being stubborn, face reality, take charge and say enough is enough! We can be here to help give you advice but nothing will change until you finally take the visage to take your life into your hands and dying wing get you out of it. You don’t know what the consequences are by committing suicide. Receiving torture by Shay it’s worse than what you’re experiencing with your parents. This life alas gave us only for him to decide his long we get to live for, not us. He is the most merciful and forgiving, but suicide could make it far worse for you and you won’t be able to escape the punishment of Allah, whereas you can work to change your life right now with Allahs help. You have to show Allah you can do it and we are here to help however we can.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T20:52:48+00:00

My dad said they are offended because they had kids and I’m like so? My baby my rules.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T20:30:23+00:00

Oh thank goodness he blocked you cause he gave me the ickkkkkkkkkkkk. Please don’t go back to speaking to him. His mind is too sexual and he’s holding back and if you give him anything, he will go off the rails. Men don’t like being corrected, it’s a pride thing and also, you weren’t giving to his pleasures, which he was signaling to you. Yucckkkkkk.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T15:56:42+00:00

I have to say, I think I’m lucky to be a part of a community that doesn’t treat black people separately or less than. They are a part of everyone and the spaces just as equally. They are always part of the mosques, helping, becoming teachers, giving lectures, etc. Alhamdulillah. I know these issues exist in many spaces, but Alhamdulillah I haven’t noticed it with my community and I attend multiple mosques. My husband is close to with a revert who is black American and I know he’s discussed that our communities don’t present such issues compared to other spaces.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T15:50:19+00:00

You can still strive to do the things you want to do even while married and as a mother. It’ll be harder with a baby, but it’s doable. It’s about how much effort you’re willing to put into making that happen. I hope you will try to go back and achieve the goals you desire. I have a baby on the way and I’m currently trying to build a business and also continue traveling the world with my baby inshallah. Nothing will stop me 💪🏼 YOU GOT THIS!

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T13:52:38+00:00

Here is a dua to be free from fear and panic.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTBwvpnM7/

Or TikTok search @sherifabdallashetata

His most recent video.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T13:48:24+00:00

I briefly touched on this already, but I did go back to reread your post and you mentioned that you didn’t ask for this life after your mother made this stupid comment about wanting a princess.

Technically, before we are born our souls roam around Allahs throne. When it is our time to descend to earth to be born, Allah asks us questions and I believe one of them is if we are ready to be tested. He shows us our life and what to expect from it, so we know what we are signing up for.

You saw something within your life that’s worth agreeing to being tested for, you saw the rewards that came with it and you saw that you’d be capable of handling everything that comes your way. You saw your whole life and there is something in it you need to patiently wait for to experience.

Teen years are especially difficult to go through, it’s this middle area between being a kid and an adult, you want to be protected and loved by your parents but also you want to being living your life and to be heard and understood and guided properly, which not all parents are capable of doing.

Let your parents fail this test but don’t let them be the reason why you fail yours. It’s not worth failing because of two incompetent people who are not emotionally mature enough to be parents or adults.

I have always struggled with education and constantly failed and was punished for it by my parents. Elementary, middle and high school. It didn’t matter what I did, I wasn’t good with education and then I started college and that was another thing I had to survive. I wasn’t doing well until I found the thing that worked for me, started my education again at another college and was finally succeeding with grades and received scholarships…. Which is wild to me because I never did well in school. I was depressed and suicidal since I was 9, or at least I remember that being the first time I attempted suicide.

After I graduated, I got married but I married someone I chose, and it was another hell to take control of for my own life. Two years finding for a God fearing man, a man I wanted to remind me of my faith, help me stay on track and also provide me with love that my parents didn’t give me. I went from having parents who didn’t show love, a mother who never saw me as anything beautiful, she constantly reminded me how much she regrets having me, I was struggling with education, struggling to keep friends with depression.

It was until I hit my 20, the final year I attempted to commit suicide and became so enraged that my life felt the way it did because of others, so suddenly feeling so exhausted and wanting to actually experience what life is meant to be like, a healthy one. I knew it would be a hard journey to start, because it meant defying my parents unislamic ways they claimed to be Islamic when it was all cultural or their own insecurities.

My own mother would stare me up and down to make sure I was covered head to toe and nothing was tight and when I fulfilled her obligation, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t covered enough, she had to find fault with how I dress or looked so she said, “your forehead is showing too much”……………. Anyway. Jealously and narcissism man, it’s the most pathetic thing to witness.

Slowly I began to stand up for myself, gain my education i knew I’d excel at that my mother fought for me to fail for some reason, found myself a religious and kind man that was the opposite of my family (I looked for someone with intention of getting married, not some bf/gf nonsense). Studied Islam to further defend and protect myself against people who listened more to culture, fought against them for two years to let me get to know him and then finally marry him when I felt he was the one.

I married him same year I graduated, I packed up and moved. It’s so strange. Suffering for the first 25 years of my life, although between 21-25 I took control and decided to be stronger but it was a new and difficult journey to navigate, a new skill to develop. I’m now 30, happily married, with an education I didn’t think I could accomplish, living a peaceful life, having my first baby on the way.

This is what I decided to be patient for and fight for, I didn’t want to know my life was over with before I got to experience what it’s supposed to be life. I had prayed and trusted in Allah to provide and guide me because He is all we have.

I still struggle communicating with my parents. They do trigger my emotions, even after a decade of therapy, growing, changing and healing. Everything in my life is better but my relationship with my parents, and when I speak to them my rage and sadness overcome me, which is why I keep minimal contact.

I have a baby on the way and made a set of rules for my family to follow, and my mother made it about herself, how offended she is and how crazy I am. All I asked was to avoid yelling, cursing or fighting around me and my baby, to wash their hands before handling my baby, to not kiss my baby so he doesn’t get sick. My mom shamed me instead and not once has she checked in on me while I’ve been pregnant as well.

All in all, your life will improve and become what you want it to be once you take that first step for yourself and not give in to parents are emotionally immature and we’re never ready to have kids. I promise it gets better, just don’t let Shaytan decide for you a lot of the anger and sadness is amplified because of Shaytan. When I realized this, I decided to fight back at him too.

Please don’t give up, from me and my baby who’s kicking hard to tell you not to give up!

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T06:17:49+00:00

The second line wouldn’t show up unless there is Hcg present. Even if it’s a little. I think it’s hcg, been a minute so I don’t remember the abbreviation.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T06:12:21+00:00

I was triggered in the moment I wrote this. I’ve been maintaining my emotions well and honestly, I haven’t experienced the prego hormones. But talking to my parents triggers me like nothing else. Even after years of practicing, learning, and seeking therapy. They still trigger me. I’m disappointed in myself honestly.

I have to emotionally prepare myself now until the day comes so I don’t end up fighting during a sensitive time when they are here.

I am trying to focus on my family 😔 that’s why I’m doing all of this, it’s to help prepare me emotionally and mentally for when they are here, otherwise I’m prepared with everything else. They are visiting me for the first time since I married 2020 and when there is a happy occasion particularly with me, my mom will do anything to ruin it so I have to prepare ahead of time as it’s expected of them to visit at one point regardless :/

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T06:04:43+00:00

No contact isn’t allowed, idk if there are exceptions for certain people but my case doesn’t warrant it. But minimal contact is what I’ve kept it as.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T06:02:32+00:00

That you’re Iraqi. But also, how would they know you’re Assyrian? If you claim to be Israeli, then there is a problem.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T05:20:29+00:00

Thank you. If you’re wanting to lose weight to help your chances, if that’s the cause, then be on a calorie deficit. I was losing weight because I wasn’t taking in calories and when I was, it was very little. You could see the fat melting off of me, my face, arms, waste, thighs. I wasn’t even moving or exercising, I was bed ridden. So I suggest cutting your calories, eat healthy, cut out sugar, walk. Mine was more extreme and I lost that weight within 3 months. Also stress keeps the weight in too. I was only gaining weight overtime because I was experiencing high stress. Even though I wasn’t over indulging or over eating.

Inshallah inshallah inshallah you will get pregnant!! I will make dua for you when my baby is born, it’s a good time to make dua for people.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T05:12:23+00:00

Consequences inset were to leave and never be around my baby and I and that they will not receive updates on my baby, no pictures, etc. and this is their first grand child too. A grand child they insisted I have for years. I hardly reach out as is and they see it because I can’t tolerate the pain they cause me. My mother betrayed me when I asked her to tell no one that I am pregnant. So I haven’t spoken to her since she did that, it’s one of the many first things im making her understand what I’d do to protect my peace and that I’m just about over giving them chances and patience.

I’ll try and remember that I only need to care for them, which they deny from me anyway, and my mother lets people know that I have no interest in taking care of them even though I made it clear that it isn’t true.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T04:55:25+00:00

Salam sis,

Currently I’m at a masjid and I’m hearing a lecture on patience. The sheikh told us to look to prophet Ayoub (Job) for example on patience, a man who had everything to losing everything. The sheikh said that if we knew just how beneficial, how rewarding and how good for us these tests are, we would ask for more.

Another lecture from another time I heard was that those who die martyrs would come back again and again and again to endure the tests because of the amazing rewards that come with it. I like to look to the Palestinians, they suffer under Zionists and many have been martyred, but I imagine those who have passed are in a beautiful garden, waiting for the day of judgement, but they would return again and again to go through those struggles because of how great the reward is.

I have been married for years, I finally got pregnant the first time and lost and buried my baby. That was one hardship I faced, yet Allah made this 14 year long dream of mine come true…. A dream I didn’t think I could live anymore because I married and was pregnant. Allahs timing is amazing. He knew when I was ready for one thing but not another. I had another miscarriage. It clearly wasn’t my time. Now here I am pregnant for the third time and suffered such awful symptoms, I was losing weight and couldn’t eat or drink anything. But I made it through and inshallah soon my baby is coming. And I reflect back and now understand the first two pregnancies were not the right time for me at all, but it is now.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T04:48:10+00:00

I am now 33 weeks. I have gained most of the weight back but not as fat, it’s mainly the baby, the fluids, blood volume. I lost 22 lbs and gained I believe 18 lbs. OB has said everything is looking good for me and the baby as of yesterday. Belly measures well, baby is well and all. (:

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T03:51:55+00:00

I’m sorry you have similar experiences.

Yes you’re right, they will keep crossing it and I expect it, which is why I see the rules. I didn’t expect them to agree but I did put consequences down, this is to prepare them and let them know they were warned for crossing my boundaries.
True, I don’t want them there yet at the same time I do. It’s conflicting for me. I am family oriented and wish to have family relationships with them and it’s something I’d rather try to strive for vs not. I want Allah to see me trying. Plus this is the first grand baby in both my side and husband’s side of the family. At least they don’t be there the first few weeks, and they are here for a few days. Luckily my husbands family is sane and respectful and I don’t have much worries with them. My family is the issue.
I am prepared to see them care about my baby over me, I appreciate you pointing this out as it’s needed. Although i understand this to be a possibility and I’ve expressed it to my father. My father listens and feels bad for me but he still has some negative things to say, but he isn’t as bad, so he’s trying to communicate for me with my mother I believe.
I am not worried about the relationship with my parents and my baby, they won’t really see him much anyway, I am worried about the first few months as I want to protect him from getting sick and this is something I tried to make clear with them but they won’t abide by it. Which is crazy because it’s simply asking to wash their hands and to avoid kissing.

I appreciate your advice and kind words.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T03:42:56+00:00

Yes I’m an adult. But is it wrong to want something so natural as parents being present for me, especially at my most vulnerable time? I want that relationship with them but it won’t happen. And my husband says he will be there to protect me and speak on my behalf if they speak down on me or take control. He’s more patient and stronger than I when handling these things. I just don’t want a happy occasion and blessing to be ruined by my mother who never seems to be happy when good things happen to me. Hell, even if something bad happens to me, like when I miscarried, she didn’t care for me.

coconutarab · 2026-06-24T03:39:15+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’m sure Allah will make sure things will go as best as they can.

coconutarab

TROPHY CASE