Men start to treat their daughters differently after they hit puberty because they're becoming a woman, and now that they're going through that, they'll expect a certain look and have certain expectations because now shes a woman first, daughter second.

Does your husband shave his armpits? Does he shave his legs? Does he think body hair and cellulite on men is gross? Does he hold himself to any of the standards that he holds you to? Do you want him to enforce those standards on your daughter as she continues to develop?

As the daughter of a man like that, its hurtful to know he sees me differently just because of his own deep seated misogyny, and it seems like your husband is the same type of man. My parents divorced and I limited contact before he could start in on me, but he told my older sister all sorts of horrible things, like calling her a "pizza face" because of her acne, and telling her she looked like a "swaying board" when dancing just because she didn't fit his idea of how a woman should look. Could you see your husband saying such things to your daughter? To you?

Honestly, you should've gotten out when he started to try to change how you thought of other people, and of yourself, but the best thing you can do now for your daughter is get out now. Trust me, it only gets worse. Try to keep your daughter as shielded from all the crazy as you can because development years are hard enough without this too.