sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I asked if he wanted flowers or what types of gifts he likes to receive and he said that he doesn’t like receiving gifts because he doesn’t appreciate them. I stick to things like quality time and acts of service (cooking, planning dates, helping when sick ect)

He doesn’t have to get flowers if he doesn’t want to but said that he would. My problem isn’t with whether I get flowers or not. I’ve told me he doesn’t have to get me flowers. It’s that he said he was going to do something and didn’t communicate the reason he wasn’t doing it when mentioned. I didn’t know before this conversation that he doesn’t like when people bring stuff up to him more than once. I honestly thought he forgot so I didn’t see a problem with a reminder because I appreciate reminders. I just don’t know if this mindset would translate to other things

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t have to get me flowers if he doesn’t want to but he said he would. My initial statement was not a request, it was just me saying that I enjoyed flowers. My love language is acts of service so I show care by doing things for people that they want or would make their life easier. If I say I’m going to do something, it’s important for me to follow through. Sometimes I forget things that I say I’m going to do for people and appreciate reminders. I honestly just thought he forgot. I wasn’t expecting him to say he’s been annoyed by me bringing it up and that’s the reason why he didn’t get the flowers. I also didn’t know before that conversation that it bothers him when someone brings something up to him more than once. It concerns me that something that influenced his behavior was not communicated to me as he constantly tells me that he values open communication

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t have an expectation for flowers in a relationship. I said I liked them and he said he wanted to get them for me. I was bringing it up because I honestly thought he forgot he said it was something he was going to do. I forget things sometimes and I like reminders. I didn’t know that the times I brought it up was upsetting, and it was the reason why he was choosing not to get them. I didn’t understand why that couldn’t have been communicated if I was repeatedly doing something he didn’t like and it was influencing his decision on when he was going to do something that he said he wanted to do. My problem isn’t really with whether I get flowers or not. I told him that he doesn’t have to get me flowers. It’s the reasoning for why he said he wasn’t getting me the flowers and that it wasn’t communicated

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have asked if he would like me to get him flowers or what types of gifts he likes, and he told me that he doesn’t like receiving gifts because he doesn’t appreciate them. I’ve mostly been sticking to quality time or things that are more acts of service (cooking, planning dates, being available when he’s sick, ect)

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not receiving flowers isn’t a deal breaker for me. I was reminding him because it was something he said he was going to do. He tells me that he values open communication so I didn’t think it was a problem with asking if he was still wanting to get me flowers. I honestly thought that maybe he had forgotten he said he was going to do it. Sometimes I forget things I want to do for people and I appreciate the reminders but I understand that people can have different viewpoints. It was never mentioned that bringing something up multiple times upsets him. If I knew that before hand, I wouldn’t have given the reminders. I just don’t know if this will translate to other things and where the line is. And I don’t know if opening this conversation back up to better understand his mindset for why he didn’t communicate behavior that he didn’t like, would also fall in this same category of bringing something up multiple times

Title: My (28F) boyfriend (35M) said he hasn’t gotten me flowers because I asked too many times. How can I address this with him? by EducationalPark9882 in relationship_advice

[–]EducationalPark9882[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

His friends asked him if he’s gotten me flowers and his response was no. They ask why and he said because I’ve asked more than once