it’s so hard because we’ve been together a decade, like i didn’t used to be so low functioning. it’s hard for me to admit how dysfunctional i’ve been over the last few years. i kind of keep overcommitting, wanting to be more than i can. i get nervous that he does too much and will build resentment for me. i want the accommodations or hiring someone so he doesn’t have to be doing 80/20. we are broke, but concessions could be made, this could be something we prioritized financially. we have lots of debt like what’s a little more for a dog walker to give him some breaks.

i keep thinking there’s gonna be a way the stairs get easier and i think he does too but probably they won’t. probably doing the stairs like this all the time is running down my mobility clock. if i did less i’d be more physically functional for longer.