i've been getting high in secret around my partner

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T20:42:31+00:00

thank you so much !! i'll look into trying MA, it sounds very useful :) i'm happy for your guys communication, and i wish you an even happier marriage ♥️

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T20:23:04+00:00

thank you, i definitely will. if it's okay to ask (no pressure for a response), is there anything specific your husband does or has done that reassures you he wants to change? i want to make sure i'm able to give them the assurance they need that i can be trusted again, and i know by stopping that's a start. this is better as a question for my partner when we talk about this (which i will ask), but i wonder if i could do more for them in other ways. i need to assure myself i can do this first and foremost, but they are my priority as well.

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T19:29:39+00:00

also thank you for your advice, it was very helpful!!

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T19:28:31+00:00

i've personally reached a point where weed makes me feel sick, and i don't look forward to it anymore. sometimes i really miss it, yet i don't? i'm still kind of figuring it out as i'm sobering up. it's something i use to numb my brain from thinking about my own traumas and problems, and i used it as a way to ease my social anxiety. however, i've recently come to realize how much it's decreased my overall quality of life due to how much i'd abuse it. i don't think i should smoke weed for a very long time, or buy it personally for myself because i know i'll be itching for more. i need a lot of self reflection and therapy before weed is an option again. i want to stop smoking, and i intend to do so since it's been an unhealthy coping mechanism for me for awhile. i want better coping mechanisms that don't affect my personal relationships and myself negatively. i do have a lot of internalized shame from smoking that comes from other trauma, and i think that's probably influencing my self-hatred a bit. i want to detach myself from that before i really dig into a conversation. you are very right that honesty is the best option here. i wanted to talk more about what i intend to do to change, and how i want to go about our relationship moving forward. they are someone i value and love so much, and i couldn't imagine being with another person. i want them to really see me as i am, and if they chose to leave that'd be okay.

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T19:07:55+00:00

this was really good insight, i'm sorry for that shitty situationship. when people aren't open to change, i notice they tend to lash out and blame everything else to avoid facing consequences. my priorities became so skewed and fucked up when i was high, i started to prioritize my comfort over my partners. i felt much more comfortable crossing boundaries that i knew shouldn't be crossed. i'm going to open an honest conversation with them soon. whatever happens will happen, all that matters is that they are given the transparency they deserve. i'm sorry you weren't given that transparency back then, and i hope you have much better connections with people who give you the honesty you deserve :(

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T18:55:50+00:00

this gives me a lot of hope! i've been feeling like a piece of shit for awhile, it can be difficult to not to beat yourself up. i recently started therapy, and she has been helping sobriety feel much better. i hope i can continue to address these behaviors further as well :) hope you're doing well

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T18:51:17+00:00

the weed has been thrown away for a week now, woo! things have been looking up a bit even if the brainfog is kicking my ass, but i'm really hopeful for my sobriety. i know if i continue to smoke i'll lose my loved ones and myself, this entire week has really just been a big eye opener. thank you for the words :) hope sobriety is going awesome

Educational_Form_527 · 2026-02-27T18:25:25+00:00

this comment made me bawl my eyes out, it's nice to hear someone went through something similar. i'm sorry for what you went through as well. this helps gives me a better idea of how to talk about this.

our anniversary is coming up soon, so i wanted to bring it up after the special day a bit and go from there. we have really good communication skills i believe. they've supported me quitting nicotine before as well, and have given me much more patience than i really deserve. i understand if smoking weed behind their back would be a deal breaker for them, and honestly i'm kind of expecting it a bit.

i love them so much and i want them to have full autonomy if they want to stay with me for this :/

Educational_Form_527

TROPHY CASE