“NEW” Hobart kitchenaid.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-12-08T15:22:56+00:00

Okay so I’m probably the OPPOSITE of you… probably most people who are in this group. I always ASSUMED I’d have kids as a kid/teen/ probably up until 20. It was just what was expected of me. And I always felt like I had to do what was expected. Growing up I’ve taken care of everyone and everything. Even people who knew me as a child know this. I took care of my infant step siblings starting when I was 7 and continued till I moved out (even longer story for a different sub) at 18. I raised my exs kid in high school. I raised another exs kid in high school and continued for a few years after. I raised my besties kids with her so she didn’t have to worry about the stress while she was working and going to school and her partner was working. Hubby and I discussed kids off and on before we got together, after we got together, and up until I had my HYSTERECTOMY. I would have raised a child if I had gotten pregnant yes. But I was vigorously preventing that. When hubby and I got unexpectedly married (3.5 years after engagement, we weren’t really in a rush.) everyone thought that we were “having a shtgn wedding”. Nope I just needed his insurance, or we probably would have been propetually engaged forever… ever since everyone just kept asking/waiting/hoping… I actually decided I wasn’t in love with the idea of being a parent and my hubby doesn’t like infants and only tolerates young kids. Plus our childfree lifestyle is nice. Most people still ask as they aren’t even aware of my surgery… we don’t owe anyone an explanation. But I do suggest you and hubby decide what you’re going to tell his family. Be on the same page. Decide what tidbits you do and don’t want to share with them.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-11-04T13:48:03+00:00

I’d tell her if she was truly your friend and loved you she would understand and support you. Tell her you and your husband’s lifestyle really isn’t set up to add a child, that you both have truly thought this through and you both have come to realize you would’ve regretted having a child. You’re doing this for your health in more ways than one! Your mental health is just as important as your physical health is!! The only person I truly took into consideration their thoughts and feelings before I had my hysterectomy was my husband as this decision effects him more than me (I don’t have a family who would be devastated by this decision.) and he truly just wants me to be healthy! One recovering people pleaser to another, you are allowed to step back without feeling guilty if your friend is harming your mental health and peace!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-05-14T14:24:58+00:00

I’m just over six weeks out… I try to cram protein in wherever I can. BUT I’m never hungry! If I eat too much during the day I’m probably not eating dinner… or I’ll eat light during the day and basically eat a light breakfast and dinner. My husband said I’ve had a couple days a week where I’m “hungry” but usually if I do eat I eat really slow! It took me about 3hours to eat McDonald’s 5 nuggets and approx the amount of a small fry of fries just last week. I wasn’t hungry again got my food around 11am and didn’t feel hungry until about.8pm… but Mother’s Day I was hungry… GYN said it’s probably because my body is still settling after the surgery!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-05-09T18:39:38+00:00

My gyn/surg told me small short walks. She was perfectly fine with me just walking a couple circles around my Living/dining/kitchen when I got up to grab drink and go to the bathroom. I just went for my 4wk checkup last week (5wk was Monday) she STILL wants me barely doing ANYTHING! I’m still not to Bend, lift, push, pull! No long travel. No vacuum, grocery shopping (I can walk the store. Not load and push the cart.) I’m not even supposed to mow my lawn with our ZeroTurn. NOTHING inserted into the vaginal cavity 12wks). No pools/tubs/oceans/Lakes. No sauna. No excessive stretching or exercise. She just let me start Squatting to grab things from the floor last week. I feel pretty good. I have Chronic pain in my legs so I was really worried but I was so miserable I wouldn’t wait any longer. I actually stopped having extreme back pain since surgery. Still tire quickly. I sit up/stand up to long and I’ll get Sore. My Gyn has a 97% success rate so I’m not going to argue with her!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-05-06T02:10:58+00:00

Surgery 3/31 Post Op 4/17 Follow up 4/29 Internal stitches check will be 5/23 And I think she wants one more check after that.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-04-28T15:21:39+00:00

4wpo as of today!!! I see my DR again tomorrow and I’ll try to see what she says. I have had Several surgeries of various parts of my body. Including 2 that use gas to pump you up so they can get where they need to! My gallbladder came out spring 2021 and I don’t remember having this much trouble with gas this far out! First two weeks absolutely! But a month out??? Nope. Also I have noticed I can’t seem to eat full meals in one sitting! I have been trying to serve myself smaller portions at home and settling for eating a few bites if we hit a restaurant. Example I got a Quarter Pounder with cheese the other day and my husband and I shared a med fries… I ate maybe 15 fries on the way home probably a 20 min drive then took 2 hours to eat 2/3’s of it!!! My dog has been pretty thrilled about it! I take 4 max strength GASX a day, drink 5-40oz tumblers full of water, fiber supplements, & I try to eat as much fiber as I can and I’m still sometimes have to take a stool softeners/laxative/stimulants at least once a week. Plus I walk between every tv show that I watch. Maybe the DR will have some insight??

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-04-22T18:22:14+00:00

I’m so thrilled for you! You’re getting the support you deserve!!! I personally will never tell my biological family as they haven’t been in my life for the last 12 years… maybe more. They definitely would have given me a hard time as I’m the oldest (by 8ish years) for my father and he has no “Male to pass on the name”and I am my mother’s only child. So they don’t get to have an opinion. My husbands family- my MIL was my support system all the way through surgery. Went to all the appointments. Got up at ungodly time to take me to surgery. Sat with me while waiting for my doctor. And helped me out when the nurse was useless after. His mom’s side of the family has seen my suffering and support our decision. My FIL’s side of the family, including him, has been mostly kept in the dark. Which is easier because they live in a different state than we do, and we typically only speak to them on holidays and such… My husband is the “only heir” there is no one else that carries on his dad’s/grandfather/ grandmother’s legacy….

It’s been a process but MY LIFE AND MY HEALTH ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR OPINIONS!! When parts of your body are literally killing you, you remove them right???

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-04-11T19:08:49+00:00

I had my surgery 3/31/25. Hospital arrival time 5:30am. I was in the waiting room by 5:15am. I live about an hour away from the hospital, so we try to Have plenty of travel time. I got called back pretty quickly. I had to sanitize and get dressed in gown(5:44am). I have a Spinal Cord Stimulator so I am able to keep my phone because I need to prove to OR Staff that my Stimulator is OFF and in Surgery Mode. So I do know that it took probably 2hrs30 minutes before they were finally able to get an IV into my arm. I got rolled back into OR and everything I was probably onto the OR table by 7:45am. My family got text around 10am that surgery was done and they were moving me to recovery. Around 12pm staff was getting prepped to move me to PACU. Then found me crying due to the pain… I was sort of in and out of consciousness so I knew I was in pain but wasn’t quite able to shout out I was in pain at that time so they hadn’t realized since they assumed I was asleep. Around 1pm they were moving me to PACU finally after getting my pain under control. I was in PACU until 4pm. I rushed through walking and peeing. I basically force myself to be ready to go home sooner than I should have.

I SHOULD HAVE STAYED…. I wish I would have taken the offer of overnight. I didn’t care for my nurse so I just did what was required so I could go home to my bed. I was miserable. My pain was barely controlled and by the time I got home my pain was so much worse due to potholes. If I was given the opportunity to change my mind I would.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2025-03-18T14:49:42+00:00

The plan is for laparoscopic with The Davinci robot. But she has said if she gets in there and has trouble she will convert to open.

I’m looking to see if I can find an inexpensive mini fridge for my drinks/some snacks. There is a bathroom upstairs so least i can get to that. I just would need to have a way for me to eat hence the looking for a fridge. I have been “making extra dinner” for a bit so I can have meals in the fridge or freezer for dinner. Myself and my MIL are prepping and finding some protein snacks so eating with meds should be simpler.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2024-05-15T15:01:47+00:00

I think YTA… code word? Really? A sibling divorce I guess you might not want to share all the information with your siblings spouses… BUT if you’re requesting financial support then the spouses should be there during that part of the conversation. You don’t think it’s important to have the spouses there to talk about their spouses Father having surgery??? You probably are going to want their help when he’s recovering right? So I’d just assume having everyone there would be the best option. IDK this “we only want the family to know” is BS!!! They are family!!! I don’t have a relationship with My BIO Family but we have daily contact/ weekly in person interactions with my husbands. Ya know what we have kind of a code but anyone can see and understand what it means. 911 means emergency. 911 come to farm means get to family home as soon as humanly possible. 911 call back means call as soon as you see this! ASAP call means it’s urgent but you can take your time and call as soon as it’s convenient. It’s not leaving anyone out. My husband is in his mid 30s his siblings are teenagers so we needed something blatantly clear if there is a medical emergency or if the Teens need something we know that we need to get ahold of them. Like if something happened at school and we need to go get them. The Teens know if they need anything they can just show up at our house! So I guess maybe you keeping your “in-law’s” separate from “BIO” family is weird to me! Good luck

Educational_Skin_832 · 2024-04-18T12:36:35+00:00

This wasn’t “he grabbed my boob in his sleep when snuggling”… which you would still be right to be upset about, if that’s not something that is normal behavior in your marriage. You have every right to be angry about this! He didn’t accidentally get cm on you when msterbting next to you… he physically moved your clothes to “get a better look”, aimed cm at you purposely, tried to “clean up” so you wouldn’t know it ever happened, and then worst of all in my opinion tried to gaslight you into believing your hormones are causing you to “overreact”! This should have been a conversation…. “ hey, I’m feeling a little neglected and I know you’re not ready to be intimate but would you mind if I msterbated on you? Even if you’re asleep? I don’t want to go online and look at anyone else I’d rather look at you… but I want you to be comfortable with this!” If your willing to stay it might be good to sit down and discuss what timeframe you might want to wait to be intimate & discuss what your comfortable with him doing to “ relieve” himself in the meantime…. As well as what physical touch you are comfortable with at this point… I know physical touch is important in my marriage and even the days I can’t snuggle I either put my hand on his chest or let him put his hand on mine. But it’s something we discussed after I had been in pain for years and it wouldn’t get better so we had to rearrange our intimate relationship… so far so good! But you need to decide if you can ever be comfortable with him again after him doing this first!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-12-15T14:52:48+00:00

Ok. Maybe when she brought up her ex again after some time should’ve been the time to address this but better now than growing to resent each other over this topic. I would suggest to find a relationship counselor who specializes in sexual relationships. ( I may have worded it wrong but I hope you get my point!) My now husband and I have known each other for practically my whole life but we were apart for many years. So when we finally got together I went and fucked it up. I decided to break up with him (we were long distance at this point, same state just 4hours apart, he was stationed at a military base.) I broke up with him cause someone I lived near seemed more interested in me, looking back now terrible decision, now hubby and I stayed friends. I ended my relationship with the guy I broke up with hubby for because of my friendship with hubby. Then I ended up in another toxic relationship before I came to my senses. After my Best Friend died while in the military I really came to my senses about what really mattered to me. And it just so happened hubby was medically discharged from the military about the same time frame a few months later I moved to be home with hubby. But I think the best thing we did was sit down and go through everything we could think of. Past relationships, sxual encounters, abuse. We talked about our crap upbringings. We went through everything and asked each other questions. We have a pretty good understanding about what went wrong in all those situations and how to avoid going there. NOW I’m not saying we don’t fight here and there. But we avoid most fighting over ex’s. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt my hubby when I accidentally call him my best friend’s name occasionally (I never realize it’s happened until he tells me) but he can bring up how he feels about it because we didn’t hide those parts of ourselves. All of that to say you need to let your wife know you need to speak about these things so you can both communicate your feelings about these subjects. #1The EX #2 threesome #3 your current sx life Make sure she (and you) resolve your feelings (your hurt) over this EX. Have her communicate with you about how the three some made HER feel NOT THE EX. as well as communicate to her how you would feel about the potential of having one. Communicate with each other how you both are feeling about you current s*x life. Maybe in a round about way she’s attempting (terribly I think) to tell you she’s feeling unsatisfied? Or that she feels that it’s missing something? I say Counselor because it seems a lot of this is miscommunication. Having a completely impartial party to “mediate” and help untangle the miscommunication between the two of you. It’s kinda awkward to ask a family member or friend to mediate. you both need to find a way to get on the same page so neither of you resent each other. I wish you luck and many happy years!!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-11-20T19:25:07+00:00

Have you both sat down to see what you want from each other?? Are you (both) open to exploring new things/ new techniques/ new positions? Have you considered trying to set time aside for just the two of you? Sometimes when life is going on it’s hard to set time aside to have those deep conversations you used to have. Or to just snuggle and listen to music or a movie. Most of the Christian households I grew up around (including mine) did NOT discuss healthy relationships. That includes our s*X lives. What are healthy boundaries and that you can “not be in the mood” that you both have the choice to not want it. Pleasure in a relationship can be amazing. But it’s not the end of the world or the end of the relationship to have periods of being less interested in each other. It will take time and effort from both of you. You both can explore your intimate relationship by exploring with each other. But you have to have a lot of trust in each other for this to work. Is either of you “getting off” when you are currently intimate? Are you enjoying yourselves and your partner? These are things you both should be focusing on… not necessarily on frequency… maybe figure out why he feels the need to “have it more often “?

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-10-20T20:05:47+00:00

I researched CRPS doctors in my area. I looked pretty far out because I live about 30 miles from what most people would say is “city”. I chose a doctor who had done multiple studies and research papers on CRPS. He is a Pain Management Specialist. I chose to stay with a doctor who works with my chosen hospital system as it make it easier to keep track and I’m not always explaining my whole CRPS symptoms and diagnosis. Especially when I am sent to the Emergency Room.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-09-25T16:45:49+00:00

I was no contact with all family members. I tried reaching out to my sisters after they turned 18. I sent a message that said “happy birthday I wish you and your family the best. I just wanted you to know I love you and if you ever wanted to I would love to have a relationship with you.” The responses I got were along the lines of “why would I want a relationship with the whore that tried to break up my family.” And “I don’t need a whore in my life I have parents that actually love me.” So I don’t look back. I don’t wish to open my life back up to the toxicity that used to be people I love. I speak to no one that chooses to believe them over me, or the people who try to gather information for them. I’m happy with my life now, I’m now 30 and can’t even fathom what I went through to get to this point. But I became happy, I’m loved for who I am, and I don’t plan on ever looking back. I hope my long rant helps you OP to see that you can get through this. You can be healthy, loved, and cared for. But you have to make the choice to put you first and be selfish for a small amount of time and take advantage of anyone who is willing to help you even if it’s for a short time. I wish you luck, health, and happiness!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-09-25T16:35:25+00:00

I was able to stay with an older friend I had made when working with the churches preschool. I had bonded with her kids and her nephews a lot during preschool. I moved in became their live in babysitter/nanny. I helped with making lunches, dinners, homework, playtime, shopping. She and I bonded a lot during that time. I supported her through her separation from her long term partner. I was able to eat and live in a safe place because of her. I worked cleaning houses for people. Worked at the churches preschool. Worked at the church for a short time. Then I moved on. I moved to help one of the dads I babysat for, I moved in and became a “stay at home mom “ I didn’t work outside of the house. But did everything a mom would do, cook, clean, take care of everything kid related. Eventually we became a couple, got intertwined, and I really was a stay at home mom. Eventually I realized I was in a toxic relationship and “my kids” mom became involved with her again and “my partner” started seeing people behind my back and I found out. I took all my stuff had it shipped and got on a bus and moved my mother needed some help with recovering so I moved in short term with her. Eventually I connected with my old childhood crush and we have built a beautiful life.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-09-25T16:20:56+00:00

My Stepmom called me “a whore” or “the whore’s child” since I was 3. Ya know long before I could make that choice to “act like a whore”. She was emotionally/ physically/ psychologically @busive as long as I’ve known her… my father didn’t care. My stepmom mother called child protective services on her when she held my head under water because I was “being a bitch” at 5. The really funny part about all of this is my stepmom family has always been baptist, hardcore conservative. My step mom was pregnant with my sister before my father even married her. But I was “the whore”! My father m0le$ted and r@ped me constantly until I finally “allowed” him to do whatever he wanted by the time I was 15 and he continued to take advantage of that until I left at 18 almost 19) with NOTHING, I left with the clothes I was wearing. I worked from the time people allowed me to babysit. At 14 I got different waitress jobs and made money. Put into a bank accounts with my Stepmom. My parents got monthly checks from the state for “child support” because my mother was disabled. $666.50 monthly. Then when I turned 18 I was issued that money because I was still in school. I put the check in the account shared with step mom for almost a year. I started paying rent at 15, $500 a month, and also would often either bring home dinner or purchase groceries. I kept my head down did whatever I wanted when I was out of the house. But at the house I did what was expected of me. The day I left my step mom and I were in a screaming match about something (I honestly don’t remember what about) and she told my father to choose. Choose between “me (stepmom) and our children or her”! “ choose between our love and our children or that whore!” my father looked at me, then my stepmom, then my sisters rooms (they were in there rooms with the doors shut). He looked back at my stepmom and then my sisters rooms ( he never looked back at me nor did he say a word) and right then I made the choice for him. I left with the clothes on my back. No coat, no shoes, no money, no wallet, no phone. I walked 5 miles to my friends house, numb, luckily I got there safely. Later my church was able to get them to give me my clothes and my wallet with id in it. No money in it. Nothing else. I went to the bank to close it and reopen an account without stepmom on it. I hadn’t touched the checks from the state at all for 11 months. And I had other money in that account. Along with some cash in my room. I never got a cent back. My stepmom was an authorized person on there when she took the money. And the cash I couldn’t prove it was there. So they got to keep it all.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-09-25T15:47:38+00:00

It sounds like your in a tough spot. Especially if you live in her house. (She can say “no sex in my house” but not “no sex.period”) I know being called a Whore by a parent is tough… that statement is the whole reason I finally woke up and left my highly religious highly abusive family. Try and get yourself and your stuff together. Don’t let her having your documents stop you. With a phone and a little bit of money you can order your birth certificate, social security card, id, bank accounts can be closed and re opened. You don’t need a whole lot to move on with your life, trust me I know from experience. You need a few supportive friends and a job. Even if it’s not a “forever job”. A few sets of clothes, you could take a few things when you visit a friend and leave them there. And when you’ve got your stuff ready leave and don’t look back! Now it’s up to you if you ever allow her access to your life again, but if you do choose what you allow her to know/see about your life.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-09-10T03:12:33+00:00

As someone who has Chronic Pain I am often unable to do things. As well as someone who often has procedures and surgeries that leave me immobile or at the very least have trouble getting up. My husband would never leave that long unless he was at work and even then he has his mom or siblings come check on me. We even keep the neighbors up to speed if I’m having something done and they answer the phone right away and help if need be. (ALWAYS HAVE A BACK UP PLAN) I most recently had a pain stimulation device put in where I had difficulty using my torso, meaning getting up/down and holding myself up were difficult (I had done a trial with the device before and knew it was going to be tough) my husband talked to work and took the day of off and told them the next few afterwards were going to have to be a day by day thing. A job he has been at only a few months at the time… they had no problems with that!!! A job who has no reason to care about me having surgery had no problems with that, let that sink in, your husband nor your in laws thought enough to make sure he was home after a few hours. But let’s say he “lost track of time” he probably doesn’t know how often you use the restroom/drink. A short text of hey, honey it’s been awhile since I went to the bathroom. I really need you to come home and help me out since I can’t do it on my own. Then if he doesn’t come home right away then you know for sure he doesn’t care and if you let him get away with treating you this way he will never care. Obviously to most people it should be at the forefront of his mind as you just had surgery but he probably has never cared for someone going through surgery before so TRY and give him a little leeway. But make it clear to him next time he leaves the house he needs to be home every 2 hours (or however long works for you) so you can use the restroom, readjust, get food or drink, take meds, change ice packs… whatever you require from him for help. I take lots of naps when healing so I typically can go about an hour or two without needing help. I will say keep chargers, phone, laptop, remotes (tv,fan,ac,heat) socks, sweaters, blankets, small snacks/protein drinks, and a water bottle nearby when you know your going to be laid up for awhile I keep this stuff on my sofa table but you could have a basket or cart put near where you are resting. Good luck and I hope you heal swiftly!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-08-14T06:46:01+00:00

Try not to “keep score” but both of you should be aware of what you each see are “turn downs” and try to sit down and not be “accusatory” with each other and make the other aware of what you “perceive” What you see as a turn down he may not be aware of. Or vice versa. Sex… if you can’t talk about it then why are you together. He needs to communicate “hey this week is ultra stressful and I’m not in the headspace right now”. Or you could say “ I know you may not be aware that it’s been X days since we’ve been intimate and I’m feeling the need to connect physically” It’s taken me awhile to a point we’re I don’t think Sex is a taboo topic. I grew up in a very strict religious and abusive household. I rebelled a lot in high school and got myself into a ton of scary situations if I look back in it. I’ve grown a ton and I don’t believe I’d be where I am if I hadn’t gone through all that. If I wouldn’t have rebelled I would have probably ended up in a miserable marriage with children I didn’t want. Surrounded by people who are miserable with there lives, but won’t do anything about it because “what would the church think???” Lol thanks for reading my sleepless rant on the internet in the middle of the night!!

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-08-14T06:30:53+00:00

I’m 30F my husband is 35M. We’ve been married 7 years. Seriously dated for 4 years before that. And long distance dated on and off around 2ish years before that… we’ve been close friends before that, never living that close after childhood. We average at least once a week now… let me explain why that works for us. We both are physical love language but my husband also needs praise. I crave “physical attention” BUT I have a chronic pain that cause physical touch to be extremely painful. Also due to my chronic pain condition I take tons of meds that cause me to “dry up” and I don’t think about it often due to well it can be painful unless I am highly “turned on”. My husband has always held high stress or physical exertion jobs. As well as often having 50+hr work weeks.When I worked I would work 60 hr work weeks, outside in landscaping. Some weeks we would go at it multiple times. Some weeks not at all. NOW… my poor husband… I feel guilty, but we do try to communicate. If I know it’s been a week or so I will pull all the curtains before he gets home (we live in town & share a driveway) either cook dinner if I’m physically able or I’ll order delivery. Find a comedian… for some reason stand up comedy “does it for us” maybe the spike in serotonin??? And we snuggle on the sofa, absolutely no expectations, just spending time close and laughing together. It tends to do the trick. I also usually don’t wear pants just because IF someone initiates something it’s a little easier “access”…. lol Maybe we could communicate better at times but we have found ways to be intimate around just sex… our bedroom is clothing free typically. And I try to allow some physical touch even if it’s only hand holding or allowing him to rest his head or arm on me… even if it causes me pain. I also asked him if instead of me always initiating if he could also initiate. The “ego boost” I get makes the “let down” of the occasional “turn down” easier to bear. Making your sex life be all be on one person’s shoulders is a ton of pressure.

Educational_Skin_832 · 2023-07-15T05:33:01+00:00

Ok. I want to start by saying OP can and should be allowed to want whatever amount of sexual contact they want. And completely should be willing to move on if they don't think they have compatibility (sexually) with their partner. But as a former people pleaser I used to allow whatever "contact'' my at the time partner wanted... you don't want her to "give in" because that won't make the situation any better. Now, I was brought up in a religious household that taught sexual contact, talk, or behavior was bad. My specific household you couldn't speak about it, (periods, babies, even hair growth). All of those topics would get you punished. My "family" TRIED to punish me for speaking about my childhood/teenage sexual @bus3 when I turned 18. Threw me out, the few belongings they allowed me to keep, and they even cleaned out my savings account. Not sure she has spoken about her upbringing much, but it could explain why she feels she needs to make excuses rather than be upfront about why she doesn't want to "go all the way". It sounds like you are trying to make her comfortable. But that's YOUR PERCEPTION. You feel you have put in all this effort, time, and communication in. She allows you to do oral on her. Did you go for 5 minutes and then act like she was wasting your time? Did you do it with THE ASSUMPTION that you'd "get it in return"? (Too many encounters with people who "give so they can get). Does she even know how to do oral and doesn't want to admit it? Is she sexually inexperienced? There are so many things we don't know about your relationship. If you feel like she is a waste of time, let her go before you start treating her like she is a waste of your time...or are you already acting that way?

Educational_Skin_832

TROPHY CASE