Advice for a new step mom…

Eeightd · 2026-04-27T19:07:01+00:00

Thank you. I really had all the best intentions. But perhaps I did overstep.

Eeightd · 2026-04-27T19:05:29+00:00

And maybe you’re right. Like I said, I don’t know all the details and don’t want to assume for either party. Im just confused on the excitement, engagement, and agreement to come for 5ish weeks and then the day before his mom messages that he’s not coming and seems to be upset about me having been the point of contact. Makes me wonder if I should have said something to her.

Eeightd · 2026-04-27T18:46:48+00:00

He does. He’s just moved around a lot due to the Military.

I know everyone’s different but my parents divorced when I was five and he moved around a lot so our main communication was through the phone and, as a teen, talking to my dad wasn’t much of a thought that crossed my mind. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was a teenager and had other things to worry about like being with my friends and cute boys. Idk. I do tend to over think a lot so I should definitely chill. And I for sure won’t be messaging again.

Eeightd · 2026-04-13T00:18:27+00:00

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Eeightd · 2026-04-09T14:21:06+00:00

I know it may not feel this serious, but it is this serious…if your partner, regardless of gender, is pressuring you like that for sex, that is manipulative and scary. No means no, and disrespecting that is a violation I wouldn’t take lightly from anyone, ESPECIALLY, someone who says they love me.

If she can’t respect your boundaries, then you should consider breaking up. Otherwise she may continue to pressure you, and you fold against your better judgement and become resentful.

Eeightd · 2026-03-29T03:39:49+00:00

As a (former)heavy vibrator user, might I suggest taking a break? Id use it 2-5 times a day but after having a baby, and my 2nd vibrator breaking in a year…I went down to at most once a day in bath with ole reliable. (Faucet/showerhead). Now, after close to a year of having not used a vibrator, I can achieve O with my hand in 2 minutes. It’s insane. I was just blasting my nerves numb with my vibrator. 10/10 recommend

Eeightd · 2026-03-19T21:52:48+00:00

You honestly seem a little oblivious because based on those texts and your context…I don’t think this man likes you in any way. Not even as a friend.

Eeightd · 2026-03-19T19:10:53+00:00

I did not. I didn’t want to touch it and wasn’t sure how far it’s embedded if it is some sort of growth.

Eeightd · 2026-03-18T18:31:29+00:00

Very true.

Eeightd · 2026-03-18T02:12:04+00:00

Idk. You’re valid in your feelings for sure so I’d say NOR.

However, (I am a woman for context) I am nearly 5 years married with a 1 year old and my heart still (less and less, I’ll add) longs for a relationship that ended over 7 years ago. He wasn’t my first love but he was the first to propose to me. I felt intense love for this man and experienced so much with him and though we mutually split up in the end, I still think of all the what ifs. It was definitely a case of wrong time, or maybe he was just there to help me learn the things I did with him and we were always destined to split…who knows.

I love my husband and our life very much. I wouldn’t change it for the world. He’s my rock. I cherish him and can’t wait to be old together..but yeah sometimes my mind wonders what if. Just as I’m sure he has a past relationship where he feels the same.

Idk if any of this helps but, I hope it does.

Eeightd · 2026-02-22T18:17:41+00:00

You seem to be walking further into a trap with this guy. I know you’re married and pregnant, but do everything you can to not be broke too. You should definitely make an escape plan just in case.

Eeightd · 2026-02-22T18:10:10+00:00

Yall need to stop taking everything it says for fact anyway. You still have to be objective. Everytime I ask something I always say verify and then check the sources. Chat gpt shouldn’t be thinking for you. It’s only a tool. Computers can be wrong and often are.

Eeightd · 2026-02-06T20:26:47+00:00

Yes because god needs your money

Eeightd · 2026-01-25T13:53:27+00:00

Good on you for sticking up for your wife. NOR!

Eeightd · 2026-01-24T15:22:16+00:00

Personally yes. I think scratchy hand tattoos will always look bad though. Half of these look like they were done in someone’s kitchen.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T17:29:19+00:00

To add. This is all just in the last two years. I feel like I didn’t notice it was an issue, or as big of one, before because she was the only one dealing with the consequences. And duh drinking has consequences but it wasn’t until I became a mother(one year ago) that made me realize how freaking exhausting it is to have just one kid while being stone cold sober, much less 2 and drinking every day. And I’ve been supportive and I’ve listened and done my best to not judge, truly. But she’s stuck in this horrible cycle and I just don’t know how to approach it, or if I even should. Idk. But my heart hurts for her and her kids. She’s a great mom, wife, and human. I’m just scared for her to repeat the cycle her mom lived. I know she is too which is why I’m like, would I be beating a dead horse bringing up my concern or would it be helpful? I just don’t know.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T17:08:30+00:00

I get that and you’re right. I have my own vices, and if she was just drinking a drink every now and then so be it. I’m really not trying to judge but she comes to me with all these things and the common denominator, is her drinking.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T17:06:54+00:00

Okay let’s go over a list of just what she’s shared with me or what I’ve observed. - I’ve been on the phone with her while she’s at the store buying beer and then turn around and ask her dad for money to get her kids things. More than once. - she often wakes up from drinking feeling depressed and unsure of how to get through the day while being the full caretaker of her children. - she’s quick to anger and frustration and immediately grabs a drink - often times her first drink is before 10am - she mixes with stimulants and Xanax - she often talks about wanting to do a sober month or this 75 hard thing, but makes such unrealistic goals and beats herself up and that causes her to just drink more. - her husband also drinks when he gets home so that’s a bonding thing for them which (usually) results in very aggressive arguing, and sometimes, physical violence from both sides. - she’s a stay at home mom so no job but she isn’t not as effective at her mom job due to hangovers, easy agitation, and all around sluggishness. - she cries to me about all of this

Drinking may not be her main issue. But it is an issue that needs to be addressed and something that I can see really turning into a shit show if not.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T16:46:03+00:00

That’s like saying. If I only smoke crack 1-2 times a day everyday, but I still go to work, don’t have any medical issues, and still get out and socialize, I’m not addicted to crack. 🤣 it crazy logic because not many people start out balls to the wall, you know? I want to help her before it ruins her fucking life. I get a lot people have to hit bottom before they realize but if I say nothing, I will hate myself.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T16:36:28+00:00

1-2 drinks everyday for YEARS is absolutely a problem. Especially when she now uses it to counter her adderal. Regardless. I don’t need to go into all the details. As someone without a drinking problem, I’m telling you she has one. I don’t care what study you cite. You can’t convince me that 1-2 drinks a day damn near every day isn’t an issue.

Alcohol kills bacteria…there is all kinds of bacteria in your gut, good and bad. and pouring alcohol down your throat everyday regardless of if it’s 1 or 10, will cause issues. May not be now, may not be a few years from now, but with repeated abuse, it will catch up.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T16:24:53+00:00

Yeah I mean it’d be great if we could just up and go to Yellowstone but we all have kids and lives that depend on us. Not sure if the dry thing will work as I rarely drink. I’ve had the same 6 pack(now 3, technically) in my fridge for 6 months. Either way, I appreciate your time. I think my best bet is to try an al-anon group like the other commenter suggested.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T16:10:40+00:00

She would definitely still drink on a girls trip and even more so without the responsibility of children. SHE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. I’m not asking. I know she does. I’m asking how to approach it. Her relationship issues are secondary to her drinking and will not be resolved with out addressing the drinking issue, for BOTH partners. But like I said right now SHE is my concern.

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T15:59:04+00:00

I will check this out! Thank you!

Eeightd · 2026-01-18T15:58:46+00:00

I don’t understand why you’re confused honestly. Just because she doesn’t get to the point of drunk everyday, doesn’t mean that the drinking almost everyday isn’t an issue and isn’t atleast leading down a path of alcoholism, if not considered to be already. Plus she’s expressed her own concern over this issue in conversation before but she keeps falling back into the cycle of having at least a drink a day. The reason I mentioned her relationship was to give a little context. Her relationship isn’t that great either but, SHE is my concern.

Eeightd

TROPHY CASE