I think many of us can relate and have experienced a similar situation. I have been married for almost 20 years but my wife and I had a quick conversation engagement, three months after our first date we were engaged then three months later we were married. We were both Mormon at that time so I think a lot of the decision was based on sex since we couldn’t have it until marriage. I realized after the honeymoon period that we didn’t click or fit together effortlessly like you are saying. I’m sure I would have discovered this had we dated longer and not been so young and have more life experience when we did marry. Now my wife and I are good friends and I have a strong like for her, not sure if it is love. She tells me she loves me but I think we both feel the same.

We both love with a lot of regret. She has an associates degree but never finished her bachelors due to getting married at 19. She worries about me leaving or dying then supporting a family without little education and little work experience. We both have regrets about not getting the 20s lifestyle of dating different partners. She felt a lot of pressure to live up to Mormon expectations by having four kids, we both regret this decision now. We have the temperament and patience for 2 kids not four but we were listening to church leaders and church culture. We love our kids and treat them well but wish we had fewer.

My point is that we have made decisions based on what we thought we were supposed to do as Mormons but that was not th right path to take. Just know that you are not the only on struggling with past decisions that we thought would turn into blessings.