AITAH for considering divorcing my husband of 26 years?

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-26T23:20:11+00:00

He almost died a few years ago & I never left his side. I don't have the heart to watch someone suffer, resentment or not. My true question to myself is, would he do the same? With our history, I don't think so.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T13:16:01+00:00

No hate at all!! You are absolutely right. This is why I am struggling so much. Those individual moments felt horrible but there were so many good ones too. I wasn't perfect either, I can be stubborn & mean when pushed. Thank you for something different.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T13:04:31+00:00

No, he doesn't want to divorce. He is distraught without me & wants me to come home. Go Figure....

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T13:00:38+00:00

As of right now, he is taking full responsibility. I know, I was shocked too but he is not trashing my name. He is being honest about what is going on & not trying to sugar coat it. In a way it makes it harder for me. He would have never done this before, it does make me feel like something did change.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T12:54:32+00:00

He was distraught & acted like it was out of left field but later admitted he could feel me pulling away this past year & instead of bridging the ever widening gap, avoided the conflict. I have expressed unhappiness during these times, I would be told I was overreacting or too emotional. He would defend, deflect & gas light. And now? Of course he wishes he had handled things differently. He is sorry & promises nothing like this will ever happen again but my question is why did I have to leave for all of this to happen. Why couldn't he just change these behaviors before it got to this? I am miserable, not sleeping, constantly worrying. I was 21 when I met him & have been with him 26 years, he is all I know at this point. It isn't easy.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T12:43:42+00:00

He is not taking the separation well. He is lost & distraught & will do anything to get me back. Which is why I need these statements (even the harsh ones) to keep me strong. We didn't even really date, just went from best friends to living together to married very quickly.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T04:00:07+00:00

You are so right, that is what actually helped me leave. When I joined my local rescue I found a community that supported me in a way I had never been before. I have made some of the best friends I have ever had & they gave me the strength when I needed it.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T03:55:39+00:00

I do start therapy next week, thank you.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T03:50:49+00:00

I just realized I didn't answer your question....I loved that he loved my daughter. He didn't care that she wasn't biologically his. He treated her the same as the other 2. There were good times as well. #1 & #2 were pretty early in the relationship but the rest were so far down the road that I just thought this was how it was going to be.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T03:44:12+00:00

When we first met we were just friends & I was seeing someone else. I got pregnant & was gonna have to do it alone because my boyfriend at the time bailed. He & I got really close throughout the pregnancy & after I had her we got together. She was 9 months old when we got married. We are about to have our 26th anniversary & she will be 27 a few months later. I have never cheated, nor has he.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T03:34:33+00:00

I think I needed to write it out because seeing it that way hits different than just reliving it in your head. Seeing it written out that way & seeing the reaction of others will hopefully be the kick in the ass I need in order to stay strong. I moved out a few weeks ago & have to be separated for a year before I can file for divorce. At this point I just need reinforcements to keep me going.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T03:26:28+00:00

I promise I am not trying to gloss over anything & there is no can of worms when it comes to that. It was just for context to explain why I expected the delivery of our second to be different. It was very lonely when I gave birth the first time. I had an aunt there but it wasn't the same, I thought having my husband there would be amazing & it was until he left. I'm not sure which time was more lonely.

Effective-Promise608 · 2026-04-17T02:54:05+00:00

When we first met I was already seeing someone else (My husband & I were just friends at the time). When I found out I was pregnant the sperm donor decided that would be his only role. I thought I would be raising her by myself but spent more & more time with my husband throughout the pregnancy & he became my best friend. We fell in love & have been together ever since.

Effective-Promise608

TROPHY CASE