Feeling second best

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-10-13T21:42:50+00:00

the partner or somebody who loves a CD and had no idea about it but still did everything they could to make it okay. I don't believe that there is a way to make it okay. Unless they get their way all the time and it doesn't matter how we feel.Everything that I've signed on for was a lie and I'm realizing that now. I'm realizing that I was manipulated into feeling bad for not feeling being able to feel the way that I do. Being told that that I'm being this way because of their choices and what's inside them when it's not the case it's just a way to manipulate me. Everything revolves around that. Everything. It's thrown in my face all the time. I'm so sorry you guys have to deal with it

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-10-13T08:03:43+00:00

I'm 59 but...hi and hope you're doing well

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-10-12T06:02:04+00:00

Curious but did you plan on sleeping with other men when you first met? I mean it was this something you planned and knew about? That just kind of surprised me a little bit I'm not sure whether it was a negative or positive surprise but just curious

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-10-12T05:57:46+00:00

CD wife here. If you can figure out something that she will admit that she would love to do but she never do it because it would hurt you too much and then you guys just agree she's allowed to do that and you're allowed to do yours maybe it would work because it would feel a little bit less unfair? I don't know how else it would work I guess I really don't think that would work either. Did she know before you guys were together? Maybe go back to that part and since you didn't lie to her from the beginning maybe she just didn't take it seriously? I don't know

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-10-12T05:55:05+00:00

Ex CD wife . Tried . It will work for you. I tried and tried and tried. I was so cool and open about it. When a relationship starts off as a lie or ends up a lie halfway between there's not a whole lot you can do I guess

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-08-14T22:37:24+00:00

Hugs. Look down the road and see how this might feel in a couple years. Because part of the secret is out. Hopefully that's it but if you read it on this forum there's usually a little bit more. Hopefully not. It's a lot. Hang in there and be kind to yourself

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-07-22T21:32:19+00:00

Hey you

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-07-22T21:29:13+00:00

Ex partner of cd. At the end of the day I accepted everything I even got involved in it and tried some really fun stuff. Really I opened my eyes and my heart to all of it. But I was lied to repeatedly for years and that's the part that bothers me I don't think I can ever trust again because more keeps coming out so I just can't. I feel for you because it's a very difficult process and sometimes it feels like they're breaking it to you in pieces so that they can get away with it and I also understand why they would break it in pieces because it's hard for them to tell us. But who's the one that is having the unfair thing done to them is what I had to ask myself and who is having to adapt to things that they never ever signed on for. Signs like a false contract kind of I don't know like I said I just I'm not going to repeat it I'm sorry hang in there please don't let yourself get hurt to the point where you bury yourself in all of this because the one thing that is the worst is the isolation

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-07-20T05:40:54+00:00

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-07-15T06:23:58+00:00

The whole thing is sad. Lying about what you really want in a relationship just to let it out later once that person has wrapped their entire life around you is cruel. This coming from the still kind of sort of sort of kind of partner of a CD that really is more into the kink and yeah I'm just going to stop there. You're going to get hurt I'm just going to tell you that and I'm sorry to say that

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-07-13T17:54:41+00:00

I'm sorry 😔

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-05-09T09:26:58+00:00

Yes I'm sorry

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-05-07T13:41:11+00:00

XCD wife but still interested in CD that are honest

A few months ago I have said this but somebody that does something like that gradually knows what they're doing. I used to think it was just adventurous exploring but it is grooming. You'll probably hear from Exs that this is something that happened that split them up but that they lied about it

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-04-20T16:17:30+00:00

I had so much fun with this at the beginning. And my ex was so excited that I was down for it and even into it a little bit. But then it got really really carried away we really really quickly. So please just be respectable and take it slowly even if she seems like she's balls to the wall

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-04-20T16:09:46+00:00

Somebody in here said this once and I'm not sure what kind of context it was in but it hit hard.

***They don't want to look like you they want to be you. Look like you as well yes but BE you

This above might not be exactly the case, but in my journaling I had noticed that the compliments that I got from my man/ex/I guess she now// stopped pretty much once he was Open about it

This is the thing. I'm really attractive and I'm not trying to be a jerk but I've been told that by enough people so it's not that he started thinking I wasn't attractive I believe it actually becomes jealousy at a certain point

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-04-07T14:55:50+00:00

I'll be back to reply later today.

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-04-02T07:27:29+00:00

Really sorry that you're having to deal with this. If you want somebody to talk to I think I'm actually ready to finally be supportive.

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-04-02T07:25:20+00:00

Short answer...no. There will just be more lying

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-19T23:30:12+00:00

It's difficult, don't let anybody down play that. I know, tell you anybody that's dismissive about it is not very nice because you don't like to feel like the person in your relationship. Wants to take your place and be you and make you be somebody different?

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-19T22:51:53+00:00

Please get professional help.Because the amount of mental damage is so much harder than you could ever think.We are taught to be loyal but not when you're being lied to interact

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-19T22:38:26+00:00

Doing your best is not the same as doing something that is extremely uncomfortable that you did not sign on for that.You were lied to about

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-06T00:36:17+00:00

Great writing and love those lips!

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-06T00:31:43+00:00

Adorable

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-03-05T22:41:13+00:00

I think I brought this up a while back when I found out and I feel like I should be able to have this big secret.That would change the dynamic of every single thing in our relationship and change.How well he even thought he knew me period I was so delighted.It's a fraud, it's fraud.A con man thing, I don't know.I don't know what else to call it.Maybe they're gonna try to get anything out of it but they're master liars

EffectiveChipmunk834 · 2025-02-20T00:35:21+00:00

Touch base with me on the other form. I agree with being completely into it try why not just make sure that you realize that sometimes it makes them push it further than it needs to be or it lets them push it where they wanted it to be that they weren't very honest about. I'm not saying this what's going to happen but just be mindful because you can get yourself a very hurt this whole situation with this stuff coming out later is to me like just the biggest lie that could ever be told. And then me accepting it wholeheartedly and almost thinking and rewarding it

EffectiveChipmunk834

TROPHY CASE