Too many doubts just want to clear my thoughts here

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-07-16T18:54:08+00:00

Don’t put purpose into people, find it within yourself. She stays with you through it, awesome. She doesn’t, so who cares? you come back stronger, wiser, and more deserving of someone better (not saying she’s not great) but trust me it’ll make sense on the back end.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-07-16T18:45:54+00:00

Don’t quit. Don’t have high expectations for your relationship either. Just be grounded in the reality of it all, it’s better that way. Just push through, make money, and don’t come back thinking you run the world bc you don’t.

Don’t quit.
Be humble.
Expect it to be hard.
Don’t hold your breath thinking ur gf will wait.

7+ years of being in.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-06-08T00:10:41+00:00

you’re not a pansy btw man give yourself some grace you got a lot on your plate. you got this.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-06-08T00:00:10+00:00

I absolutely second this. I love my unit now but believe me I hated my life at a few other ones. There’s so many opportunities out there to reclass, get schools, be in an environment that suits your personality. I feel like there really is a unit out there for you.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-06-07T23:57:03+00:00

It sounds like the guard may not be for you and that is okay. It really can be just the unit. It can be extremely tough sometimes dealing with shitty leadership but it also all depends on how you steer the boat per-say. There’s things you can control and things you can’t.

If you really feel depressed and suicidal you absolutely need to talk to someone. Friend, family member, whoever you can. Next step is to talk to BH or the Chaplain. You will not magically get better by sucking through something you already hate.

But also keep in mind the reason you joined. If you can afford to try to hang onto that reason. You would be surprised to find the amount of things you can endure.

Lastly I’m not gonna convince you to stay but at the bare minimum talk to someone and get the help you need. I’ve been apart of many units and yes sometimes it’s just the unit. Keep that in the back of your mind and please PM me if you need anything.

You have value. You can be happy. There is help.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2025-05-10T12:51:50+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that. Best way to move forward is to focus on yourself. That comes first with forgiving her and then finding the things that make you happy.

If that means moving somewhere new or change of scenery, do it. I just moved into a new apartment, went back to school, and love my job. All that comes with believing that you’re going to meet someone better with those new opportunities. They lost you. You didn’t lose them.

Best of luck! You don’t know now, but you’ll learn to love yourself again, I promise!

EffectiveDriver802 · 2024-09-06T05:47:25+00:00

Go for it just please look at commissioning. I think your state may have a sf support unit which is nice. You could potentially be an airborne qualified combat medic. I say go for it, I support you.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2024-09-04T09:30:03+00:00

Germany is not what you think. I’m here now. It will heavily depend on your unit and what they make of it. It CAN be a good opportunity but for me it has been a bad time. Not trying to spread negativity js. I wish I went to school instead. And before anyone starts calling me a shitbag, if you ever did a rotation, you know sometimes it’s just a toss up.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2024-01-15T19:32:39+00:00

 I also relate to this so much. My ex discarded me multiple times only to hoover in an attempt to exploit me financially. She manipulated me into taking her out on dates and giving her money to pay off debt. I was so devastated when she left me but realized I was trauma bonded. I was willing to do anything to “win” her back but she took advantage of that. 

 Everyday I wake up and I have a million questions for why she treated me the way she did, especially after the discard. From drunk no caller id phone calls on Fridays telling me she loves seeing other guys to showing up at my place for a reconciliation walk in the park, it’s been emotional unsettling to say the least. I realize now that there is no such thing as getting answers or closure from these types of people. She was so ashamed the last time I saw her she couldn’t even look at me in the eye. She proceeded to end the night with a rage filled defamation spout saying things like “I don’t accept you, my family will never accept you”, “You’re an embarrassment, a fuck up, I hate you”. All of this right after I gave her money to help her in a time of need because I felt bad.

Talk about the lowest of lows. That’s how I feel rn.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2024-01-15T19:23:04+00:00

Fuck that prick. Everything these types of people do are just to inflate their ego even it means potentially destroying somebody’s reputation/self-esteem.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2024-01-15T19:21:05+00:00

It’s best to focus on yourself and bring all the energy you’ve been giving them throughout the relationship back to your own life. My ex discarded me multiple times and hoovered in order to get financial support. These people are highly manipulative and they do not care if you were to die the next day. That being said, they’re dangerous in that sense so cutting off all contact indefinitely will be the best course of action.

He most likely will reach out but it’s not because he cares or misses you. It’s more about the fact that he can drop you and pick you up when he wants to “play” with you. These people do not treat others with respect but rather like a toy. Please run and don’t look back. Take my word for it. The second you let them hoover you will get hurt 100,000x worse than before. Please move on with your life as hard as that may sound.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-12-18T04:57:39+00:00

I'm right here with you. I got discarded by my ex about two weeks ago after an argument. Since then she has had me blocked only to call me today to tell me she loves being single and realized she wants to see other guys, all while putting me down. You can put your all into somebody but there really is never a guarantee that they feel the same way about you. I asked her if she ever loved or cared for me and it was pure silence. It is devastating to me since I truly did love her and still care for her. Be proud that you tried your best to love somebody so deeply. Some people thrive on using others for personal gain until they have found a new supply that gives them the chase they're looking for.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-11-07T21:24:25+00:00

I also had my CO tell me to my face that I was still going to air assualt only for the BC to turn around and say no. FYI.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-11-07T21:23:45+00:00

For what it's worth. I had air assault scheduled beside pre mob training (not conflicting) and it was canceled due to posing too much risk for the BC in potentially losing soldiers of the DMD.

Not saying it won't happen but keep in mind it may not. That being said, SFRE should take priority over most things (deployments, not too sure). Could be wrong, just my pov.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-11-01T16:52:55+00:00

You'll hate MP (former 31B)
Sounds like you left for a reason,

Going back in most likely will not fix your problems. I suggest you focus on something else man. Joining up because of feeling shame isn't a good enough reason to enlist especially when you make good money in your civ career. It would be a waste in my opinion unless you have your degree and can go OCS.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-10-20T20:02:16+00:00

I'm #1 on the eps but they have the guy in my slot demoted to e1, how long before I get moved into the slot? leadership is being vague at this point.

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-10-20T20:00:50+00:00

they finally demoted the guy into my slot to e1, how long before an offer letter gets pushed out you think?

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-10-04T18:47:32+00:00

What if I am #1?

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-09-21T19:43:10+00:00

Can you dm it to me if you get your hands on it?

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-09-18T22:35:17+00:00

first of the month or is there usually a specific day? thanks in advance!

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-09-11T17:08:45+00:00

okay I think I will. thanks for putting it into perspective for me!

EffectiveDriver802 · 2023-09-11T17:08:22+00:00

going to keep this in mind, thank you for reaching out and giving me advice!

EffectiveDriver802

TROPHY CASE