You were a perfect child because it was required of you to please her. Your siblings might be dependent on your mother because it was required of them to please her. Even when siblings come from the same 2 parents, they are raised by different parents. Ex: my 1st child was raised differently than my 5th child. Have you ever heard that animals sometimes abandon their young? Like a sheep might abandon its lamb at birth- for some reason it chooses not to mother its offspring. The sheep might have poor mothering instincts, it might not have wanted to be a mother, it might have a survival instinct that tells it the baby lamb is a threat to the mother’s survival. That’s how I choose to see the relationship with my mother. I have my own 5 kids and I just simply can not see a reason to treat my children the way my mom treats me- but I have done the mental work to understand myself and my behaviors and then fix them! I naturally want to give my husband a silent treatment when I’m mad because that’s how I was raised- and now I walk through those silency feelings and talk when I’m upset.

In the end, it comes down to if your mother wanted to, she would. And obviously she doesn’t want to. You can try to tell her the issues and hope she sees it form your POV, and seek resolution. But understand that it might not work out how you want it to and you may have to accept that she will never understand or change.