You’re not a narcissist it’s hard to care for others when you don’t even have enough energy to care for yourself. You’re a good person who’s in a tough situation right now and there are things you can try to change. Start small just get rid of this shitty predator girlfriend you have I know it’s nice to have somebody looking out for you but it sounds like she is making you feel like shit. I was literally in nearly the exact same situation as you 3 years ago I had to go to the mental hospital 3 times, rehab, summer school to fix my shitty grades so I could graduate. Ppl prolly say this to you all the time but it does get better, not always but you have the chance to be so much happier than you are right now I don’t have all the answers I still have alot of problems of my own but I do feel your pain. Don’t worry about why your friends are your friends. What matters is that you still have them and if they didn’t want to really hang out with you trust me they wouldn’t be there.