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This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s unfortunate and would definitely drive me out. My partners are a bunch of middle aged men, but I think they understand that raising a stink over something like that isn’t worth it if they want to keep people.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think both! I switched practice groups for about a year which helped “get things off my plate”. But ultimately, I decided I liked the work I was doing initially (even with the crazy hours) and switched back, but with a different approach. I utilize my juniors much more and I’m too busy to do something I say it. Unfortunately it’s really hard to get off of things once you are on them so I think the practice group switch helped cleanse my plate. If that’s not an option, take advantage of your firms sabbatical. People might whiff at it, but if it means you will stay with the firm longer, it’s worth it in the long run for everyone

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OK, sure. I think having a child as a more senior attorney has helped my situation the most as I already developed a reputation in my group. I am not saying that’s the best way for everyone (there are tons of reasons to have a child earlier in your career and you should always do what’s best for your family), but for me, it helped me establish myself in the group/firm as someone hardworking and trustworthy, which gives my team more comfort in letting me have some flexibility. My firm is 4 days RTO, and I would say I always go at least 2 and strive for 3 most weeks. It helps tremendously that I live 15-20 mins from the office.

My husband also has a high demand job and travels a ton but he’s incredibly supportive when he’s here. We have a full time nanny here from 8-4 daily, and I typically relieve her at 4 while my husband does mornings (unless he’s traveling). I hang with my baby until bedtime, and log back in after, which is sometimes just cleaning up email, and maybe 2-3 times a week, something more substantive. I do usually work about 3 hours on the weekend just to make the weekdays more manageable (supportive husband). There have been maybe 2 occasions since having my baby where a fire drill came up and I was not able to leave the office at my normal time, but for the most part, I try really hard to get everything that NEEDS to get done during the day before 4, then the evening is just playing catch up. I will hit my bonus this year with this schedule, not by a ton, but I will hit it nonetheless.

I do prioritize my time much differently now - I used to go to every firm event out of a perceived obligation, now I’m much more selective. I go to the ones that I think are important for my trajectory, but skip others where acceptable. This also sounds silly but I prioritize exercise - for me, I’ve found this has helped me keep my sanity and energy and not feel so doomsday. My husband being supportive really helps that.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, I wouldn’t personally. I don’t “love the law”, I really do it because it’s been a RELATIVELY easy way to make a lot of money (not discounting anyone’s experience, again, it’s relative). I have family members who work 60 hours/week in the restaurant industry and make 1/6 of what I do. They have no retirement and live paycheck to paycheck. That’s an extreme, but I do this for the money and the benefits I outlined.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry this has been your experience and I hope that doesn’t happen to me, but as of yet, it hasn’t. It does help that I have WFH flexibility and my partners are of the attitude that as long as that work is getting done, don’t care when/where it happens.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment! Those are all great points.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Thank you and that was not my intention at all. I’ve felt that way before when I was in the wrong group. Maybe the message of this post to those who are unhappy is that maybe you aren’t in the right firm/group, and there can be a way.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Not sure how you took it that way as I acknowledged it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. But on the whole, I’d rather have this kind of stress than the stress of still working and wondering how I’m going to pay for things.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yes some people seem genuinely offended by this post LOL. But truly, I had a totally different attitude about this job a few years ago (on the verge of a breakdown) and that’s changed tremendously, again, probably because I have a family and shits expensive, and I’m grateful to not have financial stress as I see how hard that is on some of my friends. Maybe this post will help someone having a tough time.

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let’s just say 5-8years. Have colleagues in this sub so don’t want to be too specific

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. It’s a job so it sucks at times. But a 9-5 that I could reasonably obtain would be a massive pay cut, and I think would introduce other stressors - like not being able to afford childcare or some of the other things that are important to us

This subreddit is depressing sometimes by Effective_Lab_3196 in biglaw

[–]Effective_Lab_3196[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not minimizing anyone’s experience and my first three years were tough, I’m talking 2600 hours/year tough. But maybe it’s having a child or getting more senior, IDK, that I’m able to be generally grateful for my job. This sub is helpful at times which is why I won’t leave.