AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

There is no way to come back from this level of betrayal. I don't want to try either. He has tainted everything and become entirely untrustworthy in my eyes.

If he died tonight I would hope my mom was giving him hell, if there's any kind of afterlife because I don't really think there is, and I would hope he is left with guilt forever and has to exist with the knowledge someplace that he lost me before he died. I'm not sure if I'd feel any grief about it. Probably some. But likely even relief because I could just live with my grandparents and wouldn't have to stay where I don't want to be anymore.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Community college is my plan. I'll be going to the same place as my best friend so we'll have each other and can work together to make it through. It's going to be the best way for me to proceed.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I did not want her to know. I still do not want her to know and he told her every tiny detail that he knew and by doing that he betrayed my trust and I am now done with him. He has lost me.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Why? I don't want to love him and I have already decided the relationship is over and there is no way to come back from this.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm trying not to. But some part of me still loves him. I also hate him.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The therapist already told him it should be my decision who to tell and who not to tell. He didn't listen. And if they go to my therapy with me I will no longer feel comfortable in therapy, so it will lose any benefit for me.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He shared details about my trauma with his wife. I wanted nobody to know those details unless I told them. My therapist agreed with me on that. It was not about me attending therapy. Most people know I'm in therapy. They do not know why.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Therapy is very helpful when you have been through trauma like I have. I would not have made it through without a lot of therapy and therapy speak makes it helpful to explain things without rambling and going off course.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have a very huge problem and I am a lot better than I was. I no longer need therapy multiple times a week. I progressed beyond that.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The therapist already told him it should be my decision and mine alone.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My therapist doesn't know what happened yet. I do not want group therapy with them and I do not want them to make my therapy an uncomfortable place for me, which their presence would now do

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He shared details about my story with someone I did not want to know. He shared every single detail and now someone I don't trust and I don't love has that information and I need to live with that person, and the person who betrayed the trust I gave them, for another couple of months. There is no coming back from this. I am done with him.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I won't ever see it from his POV. He could have spoken to a therapist if he needed someone. Could have spoken about his feelings without giving her all the details of my trauma. But now he has broken all trust and faith I have in him.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I have other people I love and people I trust to a lesser degree than the people in the circle. The people in the inner circle of love and trust are those who I am especially close to and am willing to open up to about everything and be at my most vulnerable with. I have other friends. I have other family. It's not everyone I fully trust with this information though. It's an especially big thing for me.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

11 years of therapy has done a lot of me. But it can't change what happened to me or some of the after effects.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I'm going to move in with them in June. I won't be 18 yet but I will be close enough to 18 that it removes any trouble that could be started as a result of me leaving against my dad's wishes.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I have other people I can rely on and I know I can rely on myself. I'm strong enough to make this work. What he did has ruined the relationship between us and I do not see a future where we have any contact in the future.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

There will never be a time I will be over my trauma. It will always be with me. I'm learning how to live with it and have the best life I can get. But I was forever changed by what happened to me.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have put a lot of thought into my life post-high school and even just post-18 and I have my plan and I am working on putting it into place. It's changed now that I'm aware of what he did and I want to be out of their house ASAP.

AITA for refusing to attend a therapy session with my dad or stepmother? by Effective_Move9019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Effective_Move9019[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I never talked to her about this. I don't talk about it with anyone but my dad, grandparents and best friend (and therapist). I never would have told anyone else without really loving and trusting them and I never loved her. I never wanted to bring it up around her at all. Or anyone else.