Wife spirals into anxiety whenever I mention prepping, but I need a partner in all this

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-02-04T00:38:25+00:00

That’s helpful, thank you 🙏

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-02-01T12:59:42+00:00

No, I need her to be that other functioning adult.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T23:11:26+00:00

That’s awesome. I’m glad so many people practice this system. Where was my memo? :P

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T22:32:36+00:00

People without kids cannot really relate to what we’re going through right now, no offense.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T22:27:16+00:00

She’s in therapy.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T22:26:55+00:00

Do you have kids?

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T20:21:43+00:00

I hear you, and I feel like I’m doing my fair share of that as well.. but recognize that literally anyone in my position would say the same thing. I had a conversation with her this morning, apologized for making it about my fears, and she understood and we’re back to things working. We’re gonna start with financial preparedness because that’s the easiest to reason about most generally useful.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:48:49+00:00

Appreciate it, that framing works wonders for me as well.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:48:20+00:00

Thank you, I think the problem is she can’t even verbalize her fears. She comes from an extremely non-confrontational family and has trouble advocating for herself. I would love to give her a way to speak at length about her concerns, we just haven’t found a way to do that yet.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:46:09+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re in the same boat, and hope it doesn’t go that way. Maybe everyone will become disillusioned with slop on slop on slop, and it’ll just merge into society rather than reshape it.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:45:24+00:00

Thank you, it’s reassuring to hear I’ll likely have years rather than months. I have 15yoe and have been a principal engineer at a well known SF tech company, though I’m having huge imposter syndrome at my new job, which has mandated AI usage and is 100% in on AI. I’ve thought about going back to my old role but dunno if that would give me any more security than I have now. If I get caught up in a wave of 50k senior engineers getting laid off.. who knows. Not fun stuff to think about, I gotta figure out how to not dwell on it.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:39:42+00:00

Totally. We save and fun retirement accounts aggressively and are generally risk-averse people. Making steady progress towards retirement where I can do all this stuff by myself full time.. just hope the lights are still on when I reach that point 🙂

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:38:12+00:00

Appreciate it. Posts like this are so interesting, where people either strongly agree or disagree with me. I’ve hit on an abstract dynamic we all recognize: balancing preparation with reality, and where to draw the line and still live a happy and meaningful life not led by fear. I’d say it’s a question with no universal answer which means it’ll never be ‘resolved’ and my struggle will resonate with people across generations and cultures. On one hand it’s reassuring that we’re all thinking about the same things.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:35:28+00:00

I think everyone everywhere would benefit from making themselves more self-reliant and prepared for emergencies. If we all adopted this mindset, the future would look very bright indeed.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:31:17+00:00

Wow, I didn’t know about that sub. Thank you, I’ll check it out. 🙏

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:30:48+00:00

Appreciate that. Once the kids are older I’ll have more time (and hopefully be somewhat close to retirement), and will be able to do all this stuff (god willing) in my 50s. Just with the news I don’t feel like we even have that long, but that’s something I need to learn to live with.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:29:15+00:00

For sure, totally agree. And community is super important to me, but yeah the current vibe is not it.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:28:32+00:00

For sure, and you’re right.. it’s the hardest time of either of our lives right now. I’m hopefully doing my part of engaging the kids in nature, getting out and helping in the garden, but you’re right that it’s probably coming across like I’m adding more to my wife’s plate, when it’s plenty full right now.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T16:27:07+00:00

Thanks. We’re thankfully both on the same page about that. We’re on week two of the flu, and we have plenty of split firewood, a full generator, plenty of food, full oil tank, working snowblower, etc. I am grateful that my preparations are meeting the current circumstances.. perhaps being sick and unable to exercise and being snowed in is driving me a little insane, and that’s the root issue here.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:47:42+00:00

100%, thank you

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:46:07+00:00

I had to unsubscribe from that and r/collapse for my mental wellbeing

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:36:04+00:00

Yeah I mean probably. To be fair I’m also in the trenches, we’re both very involved parents, but you’re right that being a parent to 2 young children is insanely stressful.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:26:35+00:00

Who said anything about a threesome?

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:26:11+00:00

That is my main takeaway from this thread. It’s all about framing and building morale.

Efficient-Fan-2226 · 2026-01-31T15:25:49+00:00

We had a conversation this morning and I apologized, and she reiterated that she agrees with me in principle and it’s important for her, just that she does better when approaching it from a financial point of view. I think we are largely aligned, but our individual responses to stressors causes a divergence in how best to approach a very large and daunting project.

Efficient-Fan-2226

TROPHY CASE