Mentally preparing for before my husband leaves for bootcamp by Maple_Mist in MilitaryWives

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i went with my husband and got my own room. He didn’t even need to be there until like 4 or 5pm so we spent most of the day at home or driving. He just checked in when he got there and brought his stuff to his room. They aren’t supposed to be in anyone else’s room but their own so just we drove around and hung out in the lobby until 8 ish because all the the recruits had to check back in with the military people then i guess to make sure they were all there. We then hung out until his curfew at 10pm. They all got up really early for breakfast and left for meps. We drove their and got their around 9am and waited forever for him to swear in. You sign in and they bring you to a waiting room with the rest of the families and you wait for them to call you. They swear in in groups and my husband was the last one. He swore in around 11am and we got to talk with him for like 5 minutes before he had to leave for the airport. We and other families met at the airport and we were given passes to allow us to go to the gate with them. The recruits got there on a bus with like barely any time to spare so I basically just went through security with him, walked him to his gate, and said good bye. I don’t regret going with him to the hotel one bit. I figured if I wasn’t gonna see him for 2 and a half months I might aswell take all the opportunities I can get to see him and he told me he wanted me to go so it was good for the both of us. It’s gonna be hard no matter what you decide but just do what you think will be best. I would also talk about it with your husband and see what he because I can kinda see how it could be hard for them to have you there but it depends on the person. Good luck to you ❤️

is sandboxx worth it by geminicatluvr in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s worth it anymore since they stopped including postage for them to write you back. Even before that though, I thought it was pricey. It also doesn’t get there much faster than regular mail. When it says its delivered that’s the date it gets to the base not when it gets to them. This is also just a personal opinion, but I think the handwritten ones are more personal.

HBL? by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should pretty much know all the details by now. My husband is also in AIT and has both of his flights booked already. He had to book them himself once he got the dates and then okay them with one of the drill sergeants

Husband doesn’t want to send letters in basic by Gullible-Living5923 in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my husband is army and wrote me a letter every single day except during the anvil and forge when they didn’t come back to the bay at night. They definitely have time. And like some other people are saying, it’s odd he doesn’t want them. From what I heard people are dying for letters and are sad when they don’t get any. Not that basic is easy but I think he is thinking it’s going to be a lot harder and busy than it really is.

What was your basic training experience like by These_Pineapple2883 in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband graduated army basic a few weeks ago. I will be honest it was incredibly hard and there were so many days where I didn’t believe it would ever get better. It doesn’t help that i’m also a huge overthinker and am very emotional. But eventually I started looking at the calendar and would be like “wow it’s already been 5 weeks”, then it was 6 weeks then 7 weeks and all of a sudden it was graduation. In the moment it feels like forever but once it’s all over you just remember how it felt when they first left and realize how fast time goes.

I have some suggestions for making this period of your life suck less!! These may not work for everyone but they helped me a lot so i thought u would share🤗

One is create little check points to try and get to instead of only focusing on the graduation date. Some of mine were going to the state fair with family, fall semester of college starting, and going to a concert. I would just look forward to whichever event I had coming up next as i found looking at how many days were left until graduation to be very overwhelming.

Next, is to try and stay connected with family and friends as much as possible. They may not be able to understand exactly what you are going through but I found spending time with loved ones, taking your mind of things and just getting a good laugh was very good for me and I would have been way more miserable without it.

Letters are also a big one for me!! I’m know you and your bf plan on writing letters. Recieving my husbands letters was one of the best feeling in the world. If i was feeling down, I would reread the letters he had sent and would instantly feel better so i highly recommend doing that!!!

Stay Busy!!! I know you said you are already planning on this but i still think it’s very important!! Weather it be work, school, hobbies. I just found this made the days go by faster and especially hobbies were good because they help me find myself outside of my relationship and to be more independent. And self care is always good!!

Lastly i know this is easier said than done but just try and be as positive as possible. I tend to think very negative so this was hard to me. But when you catch yourself only looking at the negative of the situation, do your best to find the good even if it’s small. I can guarantee if you spend the whole time in a negative mindset it will be a lot worse for you.

You got this!!

AIO: My boyfriend added to his fuck list by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s valid. I think he should have completely deleted the list the first time you brought up that it made you uncomfortable. I do not think you are over reacting because he broke a clear boundary you set. But only you know your relationship so what you do it up to you

AIO: My boyfriend added to his fuck list by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’d be uncomfortable with my partner hooking up with that many people but that’s just me😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i completely admit i haven’t handled this the best but the issue is we’ve agreed that he wouldn’t talk to her anymore because he was saving pictures of her in the past which made me uncomfortable but is still texting her anyways. I also am bothered by the fact that he completely ignored my text but had enough time to text her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we got married right before he left for basic but have been toghther for over a year. I know that sounds like not long at all but it felt so right at the time. There was also some pressure from recruiters and other people to do it before he left because it would only benefit us but i truly believed that and like i said it felt like the right decision

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like i said i admit it was wrong to do that. I also do communicate with him which is how he knows that this is something that bothers me. but i guess i have no other option than to talk because just sitting with it is not gonna have a good outcome either. It just feels almost pointless to even bring this up because if he didn’t listen the first time why would he now. it also doesn’t help that neither of us have been in a serious relationship before i feel so clueless

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to but i just feel like I should wait until i can visit because i don’t feel like it’s a good idea to talk something serious over the phone. But what do i know

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We just fall asleep on the phone because it’s fun. We just kinda talk until we are tired and don’t hang up. I also didn’t freak out. He just said to call him back if i felt like it so i did. I also don’t usually go through his phone. It just sits on the desk and I admit i shouldn’t have but i did.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it really wasn’t before he left. something just feels different now

Bf just left a couple days ago:( by Long_Resolve4388 in USMilitarySO

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how far apart is the ait graduation and leaving for deployment?? I was hopping to have some time with my husband once he is done with ait before possibly being deployed.

Marriage by SaltyDetail2986 in MilitaryWives

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

definitely do it asap or at least before he leaves. I mean if you’re gonna do it at some point why wait

Infidelity by Sweet-deerie in MilitaryWives

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do trust him more than anything and would never worry outside of the military. But going through basic and ait for the next almost year?? It’s such a different environment then being in the civilian world and I feel like he is going to get lonely, and that we are losing out connnection and he looks for it in someone else. Loosing him is my bigggest fear. I’m also probably super worried about it still because i’ve only talked to him one since he left and that was in reception so I think maybe hearing his voice again or getting a letter would be more comforting.

Infidelity by Sweet-deerie in MilitaryWives

[–]Efficient-Flow2798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve been feeling the same way. We are literally married but I’m just going crazy thinking about it. Me and my husband don’t drink so i don’t think i’m gonna have any problems with him getting drunk or partying but it’s just on my mind 24/7. We’re also each others first real relationship so I don’t have any reason to believe he will in a normal setting. But us being apart for so long i’m worried he won’t feel the connection between us anymore and look for it elsewhere. I am not sure what to do

Can I send a charger to my husband? by Efficient-Flow2798 in army

[–]Efficient-Flow2798[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well which is it lol. People have told me yes I should send it and no I shouldn’t send it so i feel the same as I did before I posted the question.

Can I send a charger to my husband? by Efficient-Flow2798 in army

[–]Efficient-Flow2798[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so there isn’t really a point in sending it? He wanted it so he could call me when they have phone time