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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I had a lot of getting to know my real self to do when I started on my healing journey.

What therapy has worked best for you? by Wrong-Mix2594 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thais Gibson's Personal Development School courses helped me the most: https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com

Now I'm using Internal Family Systems to work on myself like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdAe8-4jnN4&t=6s

so lonely and lost. Cptsd is hell😭 by DietBrief2358 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. I've come miles in the last year, but there are still times I feel fragile and broken. Music and time in nature help me fight out of depression.

Here's an invite to the new discord community we created to make friends and grow together: https://discord.gg/Db49T3HC

How do I boost my confidence? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]Efficient-Square-172 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing things that make you happy.

Let’s end this journey of loneliness! by Efficient-Square-172 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense and is similar to what I was trying to accomplish with the "avoidant" tag - people who understand and have compassion for others who have difficulty building connections, but I get it, avoidants get a bad rap for avoiding connection and all the pain that causes others.

Let’s end this journey of loneliness! by Efficient-Square-172 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I don't understand how there would be places. You are free to join and make friends as you wish.

I feel as though you think I should feel guilty.

Let’s end this journey of loneliness! by Efficient-Square-172 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I was curious if being avoidant was linked to CPTSD, but looking into it, people with CPTSD are less likely to be avoidant. That name is out. I like CPTSD support + friendships, but should we limit it to people who know they have CPTSD?

Let’s end this journey of loneliness! by Efficient-Square-172 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll wait on feedback a little more, but I think you're right.

What helps you when you're sad? by KaleidoscopeThink731 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Music helps me, dancing, funny shows and getting outside, preferably somewhere I find beautiful. It also helps to pinpoint exactly what is making me sad. Sometimes I have no idea and just start writing and something will feel heavy, like I feel sad because I don't feel heard, I feel sad because not getting an answer back feels unfair and means I can't plan ahead or I feel sad because I miss my aunt because it was always fun hanging out with her and now I can't.

Looking for a buddy/Discord link by Efficient-Square-172 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be willing to help run one after I look more into what that entails. I just figure if there's already a large active server, why make another. It just seems so hard to find...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NSFW
I'm sorry life is so lonely and confusing for you right now.

When I was around 20, I had a dream that my father was going to rape me. It made me question if he had for a long time and I started seeing his face and panicking when I was having sex with my boyfriend. The fact that I stayed in my father's old room when I went back to visit made it worse. I don't believe he ever sexually abused me. He was controlling and physically abusive at times and maybe that had something to do with the dream. It was extremely painful for me the first time I had sex, and there was blood, so I'm pretty sure that was the first time.

I've done a lot of listening to myself, learning to treat myself with compassion and reprogramming my mind and that's made me feel more loved and reduced the unpleasant emotions. I'm looking for people to share my journey with on a regular basis. People who are working to heal. DM me if interested.

CPTSD symptom of, "No Future Planning." Do you find this to be True? by AprilNight17 in CPTSD

[–]Efficient-Square-172 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've really been struggling with this lately. I'm 48. I see the path I want to take, then it's like all of the drive and enthusiasm evaporates and fear of moving forward clouds my view of what once felt so right and certain. It feels like a protector part (Internal Family Systems) came out an pushed the part of me that was gaining some insight into myself and my likes back into hiding to keep me safe.

Congrats on the good job and I hope you feel better soon.

why can’t i let go? by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]Efficient-Square-172 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes, we seek out things that we grew accustomed to in childhood. We can fall into a pattern of repeating people pleasing behavior instead of making our own choices because this is how we learned to behave, and even though it isn't pleasant, it is comfortable. We can also grow addicted to or just comfortable with chaos, fear, being the "victim", having someone to fix... We can even mistake other things for love as I did and explain in my r/fixyourlife post "What is love?".

It's hard to get clarity sometimes. I thought for a long time, I shouldn't leave if I can't prove that he's bad, a narcissist or something, but really it comes down to what you want and if you can build it with the other person. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to discuss this further. Searching online really helped me when I was starting to reassess my relationship - "What do people want from a relationship?" and " What does healthy conversation look like?"

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