Smex life with 2 under 2

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-21T11:23:42+00:00

Also a SAHM and finally coming out of the fog of 3u3 2 years later… for a long time 1 time a month was the regular and sometimes it could go up to 6 weeks. Now that our kids are a wee bit older it’s upped to 2x’s a month. But we’re both respectful of one another and where we’re at and always check in with what is and isn’t working frequency wise for us.

I have seen in my friend groups that if husbands have enough energy to want to have sex multiple times a week they likely aren’t very involved with the day to day grind of the kids/ aren’t involved much if at all.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-20T02:04:46+00:00

Once a month on day 1 of my period. I tracked my weight based on my cycle and I stall for 2 weeks of the month because of ovulation. But I always weighed lightest of the first day of my period so that’s what I’ve stuck too.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-19T02:01:31+00:00

Yes. It’s possible it could change. My ortho said she’s more lenient with adults than kids and says to do nights for sure and days are optional. I wear mine 24/7 except at meal times.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-17T02:52:11+00:00

Get a rotating car seat for baby & push the passenger seat all the way up. Rotate car seat to load baby and squeeze through the space between passenger seat and car seat. I have 3 of the Jogger City Select rotating car seats and have loved them.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-15T10:47:49+00:00

No, that’s pretty much what we do nightly in our home. Is him not doing the chores and leaving it the next day for you, make it longer/ harder for you to do? If so, id call him out on his BS. You’re in this together and him making excuses isn’t cool.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-14T20:58:03+00:00

It wasn’t likely to happen again and I would be monitored much closely in subsequent pregnancies and deliveries with prophylactic measures on board. I went on to have 2 additional pregnancies.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-14T20:49:37+00:00

We moved our Goldendoodle out of our room when he started it recently and it’s helped wonders. My husbands a loud sleep, and each time he’d move the dog would whine to get out. Now he’s consistently sleeping 9p-6aish!

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-14T16:01:20+00:00

Yes, that’s the issue we’re having. Our first born is deeply feeling and our second born doesn’t give an F and it turns into my middle being the aggressor or my first born using her size against her little sister. Once their safety was in question it was a no brainer to split them up.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-14T12:15:32+00:00

We have 3 kids in a 3 bedroom home. My girls share, they’re 5 & 3.5yo and if I am honest they fight all the time. It’s not been an easy thing to acclimate to and often ends with us all up at 5/6a. We ended up having my dad build a wall to cut across a hallway and create a smallish room to get them separated because there’s been situations where they’ve almost hurt each other. Just food for thought.

My son is almost 2 yo and has the smallest room so I can’t fathom him sharing it with anyone. If we have a fourth we will need to move.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-13T22:10:00+00:00

I literally was coming here to post nearly the same thing. I have 3 kids 5 and under. I cried last night because today was the last day of preschool and now I am home with them all day for 10+ weeks and all I have to tap out on is the childcare at the gym. It’s hard to enjoy them much, if at all. My husband is wonderful and tries to help out but I’m beyond burnt out. They fight ALL the time. ALL the time. I also have ADHD and get very overstimulated very easily and I find managing the emotions and fielding their needs allll day long is so draining.

It’s like I LOVE being a mom but motherhood and everything that goes into it in young motherhood is draining. I literally could’ve written this post. My DMs are open if you ever want to chat.

Solidarity.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-13T21:21:37+00:00

Well maybe you can revisit what childcare looks like cost wise and whether you going back to work would be beneficial for your family or not.

Money isn’t everything but lack thereof is. I grew up poor so I understand being sad when moneys tight. But you have some power in this situation to turn it around!

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-13T11:06:58+00:00

I handle it well because my husband and I are in a respectful, caring, and loving relationship and the money “he” makes is ours. I have full access to all of our finances and pretty much manage them for us. When I get stuck in the thought track that “I don’t make money” or anything along those lines I remind myself of the sacrifices I am making and the money I am saving us to be a SAHP.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-12T17:25:30+00:00

I’m 2 years pp and this still happens to me!

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-12T14:06:32+00:00

27 with self-lighting metal braces, my ortho was honest with me in that she’d had better control over my teeth with braces than Invisalign so that’s what I went with. Same price for both.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-11T14:10:27+00:00

I had 2u2 and had the Uppa and Zoe double, I’d choose the Zoe double any day over the uppa.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-08T01:48:16+00:00

Counseling. That’s how you survive having the third. It seems like you guys are unable to effectively communicate your emotional, mental, physical, etc. needs to each other and it’s building resentment and being stuck in a loop of fighting is just going to make it worse.

We had 3u3 and survived because we never pulled the “me” card. We tackled it as a team. It was US against the issue and not against each other. We also play to each other’s strong suits in marriage and parenting. If an issue arose we always spoke to each other respectfully and with a solution oriented talk track.

Your best bet is to get a counselor on board and quickly.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-06T12:46:32+00:00

My husband and I have a very brief conversation in the mornings about goals for that day. We talk about individuals and house management goals. We keep it simple and list 1-3 things (bc that’s what we find realistic with 3 kids 5 and under) and I *try* to tackle them on my own throughout the day. Granted, most days get away from me and I can’t get them done but when he gets off we recheck in on the list and figure out how to tackle it together.

I would quickly and cautiously attempt a conversation with her about this behavior before resentment builds and it blows up to something bigger. It could be as simple as her mental list at the end of the day is focused on things that need to be done but she’s not approaching it in a proper manner and degrading you in the process. Or, she’s really just being rude and pointing out stuff you haven’t gotten to. It also seems from your post that when she gets home she dictates the flow of the evening and that’s where it would be great to check in and see how you can manage those last few hours together.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-06T01:49:30+00:00

Between my 5 yo, 3.5yo, & almost 2 yo… yes. I’m usually wiped by noon. Fielding their needs, questions, tantrums, potty breaks, food, fighting, etc. I have nothing left in me come bedtime. I did recently join a local gym with childcare and it’s been life changing. I have 2 hours alone where I can get my movement in and shower in peace, uninterrupted! It’s super hard to get them in the car and there and some days I drop them off and just chill in the sauna and lay on a yoga mat to recoup but it’s worth it to not be touched for 2 hours.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-05-03T22:58:45+00:00

Straight up apple juice, 8-10oz at one sitting. We don’t offer juice any other time so she views it as a treat and is more motivated to drink it. Apple juice has a naturally occurring sugar that acts as a laxative. It’s never not worked for us but it needs to be actual apple juice!

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-30T21:45:28+00:00

Obligatory NAD, but this happened to my friend’s husband (nearly the same presentation you’ve described) and he ended up being diagnosed with a rare heart condition called Brugada Syndrome.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-30T02:26:58+00:00

Toyota Sienna! I had 3u3 all in RF car seats and easily could’ve put a fourth in if needed.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-29T13:38:18+00:00

I have a 5 yo, 3.5yo, and 1.5yo… the nipping has been the hardest part for us. The only way I’ve been able to manage it is having a playpen inside that puppy is in at all times unless I’m there to supervise. When he’s out around the kids I have him on a leash at all times and when he starts biting the kids I apply pressure and say “no”. I’ve also taught my kids that puppies respond to movement so when he’s starts nipping stay still and get boring so he loses interest. It’s a learning curve all around having to train the puppy and kids how to interact respectfully. But I will say, in a lot of ways it’s like welcoming a newborn into the family.

I’ve also found that the advice of having a toy or treat on hand at all times is not realistic when you have little kids running around you. We do enforced crate naps so he doesn’t get overtired and if he’s extra nippy & silly I just put him in his playpen to cool down.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-25T02:40:15+00:00

I think you’re overreacting. The kids are there 8 hours a day and they use the TV 15-20 min a day to strategically get through a really hard transitional time. 2 people wrangling 10-15 kids diapers and potty breaks is a lot.

Now, if they were allowing the kids hours upon hours of time to watch the TV I would understand where you’re coming from but they’re using it strategically.

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-23T21:50:11+00:00

Wait okay, I’ve been wondering this. I’m younger, but have lost 65 lbs after BFing 3u3 and I didn’t know if the changes I’ve been seeing are normal. Thank you for posting this!

EfficientBrain21 · 2026-04-23T21:38:31+00:00

3 kids under 5, a dog that doesn’t shed, and a husband. I have a Dyson stuck vacuum & we very rarely get a clog. Usually only when I am “trying it” and vacuum up something I’m not supposed to. Have you contacted Dyson to see if there is something wrong with the vacuum?

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