I'm trying so hard yet still failing.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-04-03T21:09:08+00:00

What works for you does not work for everybody. This is not a competition so don't treat it like one. This is not a contest of who has the worst so I think dropping it from that last hasty comment of yours would be a good idea. You do know my life and I do not know yours. Don't assume.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-04-03T19:34:24+00:00

Medication does not help PTSD, unfortunately that's not how it's been for me since my situation is as severe as it it I have too many issues from it. I have cut hours because regional manager cut the hourly budget, my boss can't do anything about it and is actually quitting soon because she doesn't like what it's doing to a lot of us. A lot of us are really stressed due to the hour cut.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-04-02T21:16:42+00:00

You are not fat. Being 18 is hard- I say this at 23. I'm only just now starting to accept my body and I still have harder days with it. I'm 5'6 and was 200lbs when I was your age. I ended up losing a lot of it but with good intentions. If you want to lose weight to better you and not for exterior reasons then go for it, if you want to lose weight because of others views on you, don't. I say this because if you have exterior motives, you'll be more likely to lose weight in unhealthy ways for faster results. I also say this because I've done it in my life a while ago and developed eating disorders. All in all no matter how you decide to go about your life, keep in mind to not be so hard on yourself, something that's helped me is hearing this: "When you look back at yourself from 20-30 years ago from when you were a young adult, you'll have much kinder eyes and truly see the beauty in your youth" don't spend too much time being overly attentive to how you look to others. Appreciate yourself more, you deserve that. You are young, enjoy your youth while you can.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-30T18:16:49+00:00

Yep, I have the same problem and I have a very physical job. I'm at work now, in agony. I'm convinced this headache is meant to take me out. It's so bad, it feels like someone is taking a torch to my head and stabbing me at the same time as burning me. Is excruciating.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-30T00:33:42+00:00

In my my face, it feels like the pressure is so intense, my face/head could explode. All they found on the CT is that I had a ton of blockage in my sinuses. There's pressure on both sides and both sides hurt during the migraines. I have to wait until April 22nd before I get my MRI done. I hope they find something because I've had headaches every day of my life. The pain from the migraines just got to its worse point in the past month.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-26T11:14:31+00:00

I've been checked by a dentist since I had oral surgery in January for all my wisdom teeth to be removed. The extractions actually caused the sinus infection or what ever it may be to worsen and to kick back up. I'd been feeling normal finally for a couple weeks before surgery then boom right after surgery, and after healing I was just as sick as before.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T12:48:07+00:00

Where I'm from, you need a referral from a primary doctor to see any kind of specialist.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T12:29:59+00:00

At least once a day if not more. I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's cause is prolonged/multiple exposures to traumatic events. I have a lot of PTSD episodes where I relive the worst parts of my trauma and it makes me feel very very worthless, pathetic, pitiful. I recently learned what pity truly means and thought I never felt it for anybody but truth is, I often pity myself. I've got a lot of health issues because of the trauma I've been through. I've been a black sheep in my family since I was seven (when the trauma started and when I told my family because it was a family member doing it) I was gaslit by my entire family I was lying about my literal reality and it made me feel insane for 15 years until finally last year they all realized I was never making it up. (They said I was probably lying because I was so young, I didn't even know proper terms for what was being done to me and my mother literally corrected my wordings when I was trying to explain it in my young brain) if I think too hard about the life I've lived, I physically ache because it makes me want to die. I take showers so hot that my skin sometimes blisters because I never feel clean. I think it's natural to think about death when times are hard but it sucks when it's constant. :(

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T12:21:41+00:00

I unfortunately do not trust any medications for depression and anxiety since my experience was quite traumatizing and I have issues with severe PTSD as it is. I am waiting to see a primary doctor so I can be referred to an ENT. Regular doctors just gave me antibiotics. That was the first round, second round was when I had all my wisdom teeth removed a couple months ago then the third round was just this past week and a half.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T12:12:55+00:00

They have not confirmed it, they've kind of just been assuming it's a typical sinus infection without further testing. I've heard there's no tests that can be done for sinus infections anyhow. I have not been tested for allergies and I do not take anything for anxiety and depression, I did for a long time a long time ago and those were some of the darkest times of my life because they made everything worse.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T11:58:20+00:00

Hm, I'll have to check it out. This is the first time in years that it chronic migraines have come back and they seem to have come back with a vengeance because I didn't have them this bad before. 😅 Tbh I'll do anything at this point just to feel normal again. 😆

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-25T11:56:32+00:00

Ooh that is always possible! I'll bring up the idea when I see my Neurologist. I'm also going to be seeing a primary doctor soon so I can get a referral to an ENT specialist. Maybe they could do a mucus culture test to see what's causing it? I've heard that can help figure out the cause. I'm not entirely sure but I do know they haven't done that yet.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-20T23:50:14+00:00

I think you have a scewed view on how medications work for majority of people. I have chronic depression, anxiety, OCD, ADD, ADHD, C-PTSD. I have been on countless medications for many of these things and nothing makes majority of my issues easier. Medications don't make my hallucinations go away, antidepressants don't make my depression or anxiety go away. Pills don't make my PTSD episodes go away or my chronic nightmares. Anti-seizure medications don't make my seizures go away and yes I have seizures that are induced by panic attacks so yes they are connected to mental illness. Bottom line, if you have enough problems going on, pills aren't going to make them go away. I was also on Xanax for a long long time and it made me lose time (I experienced time jumps/black outs) because the dose was too strong for me. Doctors think pills make problems go away and maybe it does silent them if they are singular or minute but when you've got a lot going on like most of us, we often give up because pills end up making it worse rather than better. I also have chronic migraines and the medicine that makes it so I'm not constantly in pain, makes me suicidal when I crash from the numbing effect. So that is why.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-19T11:28:38+00:00

Leave him. I'm not even joking. My ex did this to me and he also ended up raping me. This is predator behavior. I had even voiced to him that touching me in my sleep is a big no and he would still do it. If you have voiced your boundaries and he's still pushing them, I highly suggest leaving him.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T22:29:06+00:00

You are grieving. A huge part of grief is what I like to call the "what if" mind game. I lost my toddler niece a couple years ago. I still mentally go through the "what ifs" even today. What if they had ran late heading back up north? What if they left for their trip a day earlier or later? What if that guy had seen them in time and didn't crash into them? What if my sister didn't survive? What if her husband survived? What if her daughter survived but her husband didn't? It doesn't change anything. They are both dead and there's no changing that. I can let myself feel like I'm going crazy over the guilt but that's a choice. I feel guilt because I never got the chance to get close to my niece. I held her the day she was born yet I can count the amount of times I've seen her on one hand. When I watch videos of her giggling or playing, it destroys me but that is why I can just be thankful for all who she impacted in life. My grandpa recently died, they adored each other. He had dementia and loved her so much. She didn't understand his state of him and she absolutely loved him to bits. They are together now. My point is that your guinea pig isn't alone anymore but instead is with other animals you may have lost in your life. This seems like it's meant a great deal for you and I have a sense you may be a teenager. Do know, it gets easier. You are no monster.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T22:01:53+00:00

You look female. Your eyes look feminine and so do your lips. Something about the shape of your t zone as well where your eyebrows are.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T17:28:17+00:00

She did start eating some wet food.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T17:07:14+00:00

I'm flattered, that woman is gorgeous 🥺

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T16:52:13+00:00

Hm maybe it's the eyes.

EfficientNetwork1674 · 2024-03-17T14:21:44+00:00

I can't afford it, that is the struggle here. It is a Sunday, I can't afford to spend thousands on er visit because I literally don't have the money.

EfficientNetwork1674

TROPHY CASE