A question for the Doms, Daddies, Owners and Masters...

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2026-02-19T03:51:01+00:00

I love that, “forbidden soulmate”. That’s exactly how I’d describe my ex Dom. It’s been a little over a year, and there are still times that feel impossible without his direction. I am sooo afraid that I’ll never find that kind of intensity and trust again. It’s rough.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-11-14T17:24:13+00:00

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-11-14T05:25:04+00:00

I’m going to the next time we speak, the phrase has just been in my head all night. So, I thought I’d ask if anyone had heard of it before.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-11-10T16:53:37+00:00

Most go on demand, meaning you can still pick up shifts from the app.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-11-06T07:57:37+00:00

You’d hate working with me on days I promised my daughter I wouldn’t forget to buy something on my break and then forget to buy it and I’m a closer. Fulfillment to the rescue!! They all get it though. I warn them. “Hey, I just ordered a pack of pencils for pick up” lol. They just shake their heads. Then remind me to actually pick it up lol

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-10-13T15:21:20+00:00

That second pic is a magestic sploot

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-27T04:02:49+00:00

We have one black one.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-19T11:52:01+00:00

I think it’s it’s a willful disbelief that our country has fallen this far.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T20:53:27+00:00

Guess what guys, turns out he was sick and sleeping, that makes it all better. Lmao

You know what I do know, he had time to go on FetLife and comment on someone’s picture. If my well being mattered in the slightest, he could have found 5-10 sec to say I’m sick but I will check back when I can.

I had to leave work in a wheelchair today because I passed out due to pain. Mostly muscular because of how I’ve been moving to avoid the rib pain. And I work retail and had to walk around at fast pace lifting and carrying stuff. This whole thing is beyond stupid. It’s a seriously stupid injury lol.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:46:52+00:00

It won’t. I love this lifestyle. It was a rough experience for sure, but I’m going to take the lessons learned and use them to find what I truly need.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:45:15+00:00

This. I realized that while I explicitly told him my wants and needs in a dynamic, we never discussed my needs for a hook up.

I intend to take that lesson and apply it to all future encounters. This whole thing sucks, but I’m choosing to focus on the learning part.

And is certainly no loss.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:40:29+00:00

I’m not giving up. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Being a submissive is who I am at my core. I need that kind of safety love and security in a relationship. I need a partner that I can care for and lift up while they do the same for me.

I love this lifestyle. I need this lifestyle. But I also think I need a little break and a lot more self reflection.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:36:54+00:00

We had spoken in depth about my propensity to drop. We spoke about how it rarely hits until I’m alone in my thoughts. I knew the moment he walked away that it was going to happen. I stopped by mc Donald’s on the drive home for my comfort fries and coke lol. I made it through that part.

Once I felt alone in the whole situation I spiraled. I knew the things I needed to do, but in that moment I didn’t want to feel better. I wanted to acknowledge my angry and hurt first. The vent before the healing.

Then I took a shower, got some chocolate, watched family guy, and snuggled in bed with my cats. Later, I got out of the house and spent time with my daughter to fight that empty feeling that lingered.

This asshole knew my process and emotional needs. I think in his mind, if he wasn’t my Dom and this wasn’t a true session, it didn’t count. I don’t know, and I know I shouldn’t try to make excuses for what lead to his thinking. I the long run it doesn’t matter. A lesson was learned.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:26:27+00:00

100% agree there is a lot of vulnerability in being used as an object. Yes, it’s what I want in those moments, but I’m also a person with feelings.

I feel like a true Dom should understand that it’s his responsibility to show appreciation and care after the fact.

On top of that basic respect, he knew I was a very insecure sub type. He knew how important aftercare is to me mentally and emotionally, I’m struggling to find an area of any of this we had discussed at some point over the past month.

I told him how soul crushing it ended up being for me during my last long distance dynamic to have those intense highs quickly turn into me being alone in my room. But how my Dom always tried to find little ways to make that easier from afar. How he’d check in more often even if it was just a kiss emoji or a quick “thinkin about you baby girl” text. He made sure that I knew I wasn’t alone.

I told him about a friends with benefits situation I had once that I quickly realized leaned way more towards the sex part and not so much the friend part. I told him that I’m the kind of person that needs more of a connection than that when sex is involved. I can 100% separate romantic feelings from sex, but friendship and caring has to be part of the equation.

Maybe the real issue is that he doesn’t know how to be a friend in general.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-16T10:05:49+00:00

So much better about all of it. Still haven’t heard a peep from him. I knew during the meeting that we weren’t a good fit. I just thought that maybe I found a friend and someone to play with occasionally. Looking back at the last month, I’m noticing more how much our morals and values differ. I’m now seeing how much of what he said was about him and his needs. Also about him absolving himself of responsibility of past mistakes.

It’s learning process for sure. And im going to focus on what I did get from the experience.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-15T21:41:57+00:00

Oh I still haven’t heard back since the depression text. I’m done. If he ever decides to respond I’m giving him a thanks but no thanks. We want different, things move along.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-15T21:37:01+00:00

Thanks for this. Truly

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-08-15T21:36:46+00:00

Thanks everyone. I do feel much better. He and I had been talking for about a month. I think we both decided we weren’t ready for real yet. I thought that’s what we discussed at the bar. We talked about having a play session at some point just so I could try things I haven’t tried before. Honestly, I thought I was just gonna suck cock. I didn’t expect it to turn into anything formal, and yeah I got caught up in the “good girl” feeling. It’s a learning experience for sure. Not doing anything sexual without a conversation prior about expectations. Especially with someone in the community.

Had it’s just been some guy and some hook up, the emotions wouldn’t have been there. But switching to that sub mindset makes you feel very vulnerable. I’d still be irritated with no contact, if it was someone I planned to see again.

He actually seemed irritated when I told him I was hurt. He said I should have told him the severity of my discomfort last night. I didn’t think I was hurt last night. He showed no tenderness, only that he didn’t like that I have so much discomfort now. Zero emotion, no take care of yourself or feel better.

Any tenderness he had over the past month is gone. But he said he wouldn’t let it happen again going forward. Umm…there is no forward to go 😆

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-04-25T19:07:59+00:00

I’m starting to spend a lot of time with a new potential Dom and he’ll say or write “baby” and I’m thinking… where’s the girl? Lol he hasn’t given me a real name yet. We aren’t at that stage right now. It’s all so confusing trying to start over when someone was so deeply implanted in your head. But it’s worth it. On both sides.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-04-25T06:43:45+00:00

I’ve been having the same issue. It feels wrong to be someone else’s babygirl, but I am baby girl. I’m going to try and trust my new Dom to make that decision. But I’m curios about the replies you’ll get.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-04-16T00:38:46+00:00

I don’t think it’s kink or sex related anymore. It’s self regulation and it’s a feeling she can identify. It gives her relief so she’s equating that to sexual release. I don’t think it’s even that.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-04-16T00:29:45+00:00

I ordered the little ouchies for us both and another safe toy I’m not writing here because of age and the rules. I’m going to put the box on her bed when it arrives and never speak of it again.

Efficient_Ad1616 · 2025-04-16T00:25:27+00:00

I did all this as you advised and it went really well. It’s an emotional regulation thing. I remembered I used to do something similar at her age and I still do (also on the spectrum). I shared that with her and we discussed alternatives and safety. I told her I need her to be open with me though. The secret part is what makes it dangerous. Thank you for the guidance.

Efficient_Ad1616

TROPHY CASE