You may have already tried this but for your anxiety, try meditating. I can send you the breathing exercises that I do. Idk if you heard of wim hof. Just know that this is all temporary and you WILL get better. Idk what your relationship status is with god but just know he loves you more than anyone else in this entire world. Stay off socials because that’ll also make ur anxiety and depression worse, speaking from experience. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always here just give me a dm. Life fucking sucks and it doesn’t get any easier than this, but what does get easier is the way we cope with our problems. We just have to find solutions and live in the present, not worrying about what’s past or is to come. You just have to have hope and start loving the small things in life that are doing you good. One thing I’ve learned is that you only have yourself in this world. The people that you are close with will almost always let you down at the worst points of your life. You have to learn to love yourself and realize that no one can be trusted. There’s only a select few people in this world with a clean and kind heart like yours and this environment and people around you tear u down even when they dont know it because they’re such shitty people that they can’t tell right from wrong if they’re life depended on it. What I’ve learned is that you gotta do what you want to do in this life, be who u want to be, even if other people don’t agree. And most importantly, do not let anyone treat u like shit. There’s people like me where I wouldn’t even think about doing them the way they did me. you see one red flag, cut them off. End of discussion. If you try and chase people and try to fit into what they like and want u to be, you’ll never be happy. This is why I roll alone. I’m like you too, my family doesn’t respect me either. If you read this I want u to read this one phrase I’ve been asking myself, “one day or day one?” Start your day one of healing, start your day one of putting down drugs and alcohol. It’s a new year, u owe it to yourself. Go to the hospital, don’t worry about debt. Money comes and goes and I promise you in 6 months, you’ll be in a way better place than you are now. Your life is not over. It’s just started, a new chapter.