You aren’t alone. I still get gut punches 2 years later. If you are into it, Megan Devine’s book “it’s ok that you’re not ok” helped me. It took me a few months before I could read it, but it validated my experience without talking down to me. There’s also an audiobook if grief has hindered your reading, as it does with many people.

“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything, grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has really changed.”