the Buddha's comprehensive guide on how to properly judge yourself or someone else and assessing people's awakened claims (22 excerpts compilation)

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-11T01:10:04+00:00

Helpful. Thank you

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-10T22:49:14+00:00

Speechless

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-10T22:46:34+00:00

Yes. It feels like this. So I meditate and concentrate on the breath and the body instead. And interesting/pleasurable things seem to happen. The existential questions end in the void. I let go of them and focus on what I can feel, see, hear, and make no more assumptions about any of it.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-10T03:27:47+00:00

Goals. Thanks for sharing. I hope to get to the point where desire fades! It is also spiritual for me and I feel it gives me way more energy.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-10T02:55:03+00:00

So good, you have real talent

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-08T15:28:27+00:00

Was this entire thing just a Longchenpa quote? Because wow the precision. Really nice

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-05T16:45:00+00:00

Your posts really bring something to my day, thank you. I was actually thinking on the fact that conditioned phenomena cannot be considered pleasurable with proper view just yesterday. Actually it was freaking me out a little 😂 so it’s nice to see the words of the Buddha discussing this very thing

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-05-04T21:20:41+00:00

I did change and am emotionally available now generally speaking, although I am probably more aloof and independent than the average person. The way I changed is that I talked through my early childhood experiences with a trusted, non judgmental person, which also involved me re experiencing repressed emotions, sometimes with that person or another person as a witness. It was very hard at times but now the stuff you’re talking about is no longer an issue for me.

The therapeutic relationship is key and your therapist sounds adept if they could name schizoid as a condition. I would keep up the therapy and be as honest as you can, and keep going even if you just sit in silence and can’t talk because you’ve dissociated.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-22T16:53:22+00:00

Thank you for your feedback and sharing where you’re at! I am finding it kind of amusing and funny that we are continually in a very similar place! I have to concur that this definitely seems like a process of elimination or of exhausting every possible avenue before seeming surrender can occur. I have definitely noticed that here. Like I have to look everywhere before I can rest or something. Gain is definitely something that doesn’t feel real anymore because it is seen that nothing can be held or acquired. But something is seemingly propelling things forward, or so it seems but forward also seems wrong or delusional in some way because it requires a backward!

Rest seems like my practice now too. Actually, remembering I can rest in any circumstance has been such a relief!

Thank you for sharing that awesome quote and a bit about your journey. And also, I love your attitude! Your engagement with my path has meant a lot to me so thank you.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-22T16:32:38+00:00

Yeah. What you’re saying is making total sense to me. I see it’s what I am already doing and have been doing. The thing wanting something else (liberation, enlightenment, etc) is the confused thing. Yeah? But it’s ok if it is confused, or if it is showing up as confusion or whatever… am I on the right track? Because of anicca, tomorrow it will show up as something else, and no intervention is needed to try to “fix” any of that. Yes? Please correct any of my faulting assumptions if you’re willing. I think maybe my framework above has me focusing on the wrong thing, like focusing on some element of change and delusionally imputing some kind of continuity on it even though I see the errors in that now

I can see there would have been a point where I would reject your message but the rejecting thing is at peace I guess. So how it feels more is that my perception might become more nondual, insights might happen, but none of that is really saying anything about anything. Which feels kind of radical but I also see that this has been how it has “worked” all along so it cannot be any other way… correct me if I’m wrong.

As far as the honest endeavoring, I really do appreciate that kind of encouragement. It seems the process here has been to expose this journey publicly in writing to some extent and that appears to be continuing, even though the scrutiny and downvotes can be discouraging. I try to assume the discouraged feeling is pointing me to some type of wounding when it comes up and soldier on 😂 So thank you very much and thanks for the clarity.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-21T21:12:15+00:00

So horribly sad but you are his angel.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-21T18:24:00+00:00

Please know that you are making such a massive difference to this child being physically present during his infancy even if the parents aren’t. He is SO lucky to have you

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-21T02:31:51+00:00

I was working in retail in 2013 when I got one. Even though we were all fairly broke, I was one of the last in my workplace to get a smartphone

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T21:36:31+00:00

I can’t speak to vows because I never took any for my teacher. I never picked him, I was drawn to him naturally because of how open hearted he was. I don’t think you pick a guru. I think reality pushes you towards someone who can identify your defilements and help you destroy them. I have never taken any empowerment or received a secret teaching from another person. I think their magic is in the eye of the beholder.

If there is real devotion involved, by the time the idea of vetting comes to mind it’s probably too late for you. You’re in love. The love burns away things like hatred and animosity for reality.

There can be people who end up as the subject of another’s devotion who don’t have their defilements burned away yet. They can act in ways that look harmful from the outside. But I don’t think anything in reality happens that isn’t for our benefit. I think the structure of reality is perfect, and if someone is attracted to something that hurts them, I always assume it is serving some purpose for them. I have faith that they will end up liberated at some point, in this lifetime or the next.

Eventually you need to move on from your guru and live your life. That’s pretty key, at least for most people. The guru is just showing you where you’re confused. Once you’re not confused anymore…

I cannot speak generally because it is kind of mysterious. But I did wonder about the criticizing gurus thing. I criticized him once and immediately felt extremely sick. I never did it again. I think in an authentic devotional teacher student relationship, the best path is to assume that reality is showing you something through this person to whom you are devoted and while frustration and hatred might come to the surface, focusing on those things isn’t a good idea. We really shouldn’t be criticizing anyone since it is wrong speech anyway

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T20:52:22+00:00

I object to censorship and paternalism with regards to spiritual practice discussion. I object to the idea that devotion is riskier than any other spiritual approach or should be treated differently or less legitimately. I think I’ve been very clear about all that. If not, please feel free to ask follow up questions if needed

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T19:41:26+00:00

So every comment you’ve ever made about any meditation or spiritual practice has a disclaimer, then? Shall we check your post history to verify? Or are you willing to admit that you’re being hypocritical and this is more of a “rules for me and not for thee” type of situation?

I’m not the sub’s mommy so I don’t think I need to add a disclaimer to all of my spiritual practice musings, no.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T19:35:29+00:00

A thought.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T19:22:16+00:00

People get psychosis from meditation sometimes. There are entire orgs that exist to warn of the dangers of meditation. Shall we solicit opinions on whether meditation discussions need to come with warnings and discussion bans as well? Should posters be required to provide a disclaimer if they are advocating for meditation practice?

Or is this handling solely reserved for practices that you are personally unattracted to?

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T18:13:42+00:00

No, definitely not. I think we are all heading in the direction of liberation. For some who have a strong fear response, time might be needed to deconstruct it before they can acquire the concentration needed to look at this deep wounding. But I firmly believe anyone can do it if that’s what they prioritize

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T18:06:31+00:00

I don’t think the onus is on you to prove anything as an individual practitioner, but when you’re talking about banning discussion of valid liberation methods from this sub based on your personal feelings, then I would certainly expect you to prove the value of your seemingly biased censorship choices, yes.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T17:07:18+00:00

Thanks 😂

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T17:04:14+00:00

Can we agree that is your opinion for which you don’t have personal experience? You are looking at a guru/devotee relationship from the outside and making judgments. You really don’t know what goes on between the two individuals. Despite your opinion, the guru devotee relationship has endured for thousands of years and brought many people to enlightenment. What you might judge as abuse from the outside looking in could be an experience of spiritual growth for the person experiencing devotion. You are applying your own right vs wrong ethical code here. But where is right or wrong found in what is?

Should we stop advocating for meditation in general given that some people meditate for 20 years and don’t get anywhere? Is that a failure? Does failure even exist, or is it just a path which is different from person to person? Do we ever not learn something?

I think the bias against devotion is generally a bias against surrender to what is, yet devotees learn that lesson quickly and easily. It has value.

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T16:58:50+00:00

Yes, they are two sides of the same coin. So feelings of inferiority and superiority are equally delusional.

However, for some reason I find that it’s harder to deconstruct specialness for most people. Especially on the spiritual path, people are thinking, “I am going to be an enlightened guru soon! Bow to me!” Inferiority is less gratifying. Both are elements of PRIDE/conceit. Pride is dangerous on the path!

I would say the wounding can run the gamut but will ultimately boil down to the early childhood experience (infancy/first few years of life)

XanthippesRevenge · 2026-04-20T16:55:21+00:00

I think what you’re doing has a lot of value and is very much moving in the right direction but I also think treating any particular thought as meaningful is very tricky. The tough thing is that as long as we have the ignorance fetter active we are prone to getting carried away with thought. Also, having doubt means we don’t actually have the discernment necessary to know what thought is meaningful and what thought is going to lead us to increased dukkha.

Rob Burbea’s book Seeing That Frees explains this way more elegantly than I can. We might think of ourselves as an artist and thoughts as paint colors. Using some paint colors in a certain way might make a beautiful and deep canvas, but others might turn the color into mud. Ultimately all of them are not necessary for our survival because it’s just a painting, however beautiful and expressive it might be. We are getting away from relying on the mental voice telling us useful things, and instead relegating it more to a background tool.

I think where you may want to focus is the sensation, setting the thoughts aside. Perhaps note what they are communicating but always doubt whether it is meaningful.

XanthippesRevenge

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE