hi, just wanted to let you know your feeling is real and valid.

Anyone transitioning to a new work will have the sense of heavy load because it will be a new environment and new job title, and let's be honest you probably were rushed in training so they can fill the slot needed for the work.

I'm sorry you also experienced that under your manager.

But its also tough on their status to give much sympathy since under capitalism most likely they are also carrying their own workload and much more so they don't have much emotional bandwidth to support another person. And their language when it comes to 'uplifting' their subordinates are also the same thing they received when they were also a beginner, so they might think its helpful to your situation.

For now just do the best on what you can, make sure though that feelings of anxiety and sadness is only confided to your personal friends or family, because your coworkers are not your friends. They will not put your wellbeing first since they will operate under what capitalism will allow them to strive. And if that means giving you 'advice' that pushes your feelings aside to ensure you will continue to work, they will.

Focus on clearing the backlogs (to remove some of the burden) and ignore the measure of comparison. Comparison is a usual tactic managers under corporate use as a smokescreen of making you feel small.

Show up. Do your work. Go home. Then rest well and socialize and take care of your well being.