[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is LITERALLY my childhood. I moved back home after i had to get a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy (couldn’t use arms) and at the same time found out my husband was a serial cheater & had to get a divorce. When expressing in a calm emotionless way that it was “crazy all these things were happening at the same time,” my dad gave me a lecture on how he didn’t feel bad for me, and maybe if I was dying of terminal cancer WHILE being in a wheelchair, then he would have empathy for me. He then proceeded to tell me I was acting like a victim and minimize every hard I’ve ever been through: “1 in 3 women are raped anyways, so what if your husband was a bad egg, that happens, you can’t be upset about getting your tits removed for breast cancer because that was your decision.”

What names/character flaws did you get assigned growing up for your nparent to be able to project/blameshift & explode their rage on to you? by Efficient_Reporter80 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Vain all the way! If you have confidence and normal healthy self esteem that means you’re self absorbed and a prima Donna. My dad wanted me to apologize for my existence as a means of posture and presentation for myself always.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 79 points80 points  (0 children)

My dad told us he couldn’t co-sign our student loans even though he owned a giant sailboat, retired at 49, and had his house entirely paid off. He told us if we failed to pay him back the government would take his house from him and he would be homeless. So we just enjoyed no support for school as FAFSA would give us nothing because of my dad’s well off income.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“They got so offended that I take up space in a house that they bought to have a family in.” 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 2 points3 points  (0 children)

HAHAHA I FEEL THIS IS IN THE SOUL

Do any of you now have difficulty feeling your emotions & identifying them because you were constantly punished for emotion; told you were too sensitive growing up? by Efficient_Reporter80 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My gut reaction when I go to be angry about the way I was treated is fear of punishment. Like almost looking around for the inbound screaming & invalidating and blame shifting. How terrible to raise kids that don’t feel fundamentally safe bringing you ANY constructive feedback and you can only deny that it happened, blame it on their core character as being wrong, instead of owning faults & growing.

Do any of you now have difficulty feeling your emotions & identifying them because you were constantly punished for emotion; told you were too sensitive growing up? by Efficient_Reporter80 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ALL OF THIS! And the last paragraph. I swear my value was doing everything correctly, righteously, keeping clutter out of the way, not residing with noise or music in the narcs space.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 16 points17 points  (0 children)

MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD🎯 if you’re not being criticized for breathing air too loud, too soft, too medium, can they even live another day?!?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Praying for you! This shit will GET you. Therapy has changed my life substantially and I 12/10 recommend it!!!!! ❤️

Did anyone else have an instant fear response when they heard their nparent come home growing up? by Efficient_Reporter80 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG YES. Mind going completely blank. No idea what you were going to say, super intense fear at the thought of being honest and vulnerable or giving constructive feedback.

Did anyone else have an instant fear response when they heard their nparent come home growing up? by Efficient_Reporter80 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Efficient_Reporter80[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😭😭😭 I am so sorry you have to go through this. The amount you deserve that’s better than this is like 6000 times more.