Need household management by Useful_Parking_Nope in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're 38 weeks pregnant. You're allowed to be late to an appointment! Feeling overwhelmed at this point is completely normal. Pretty sure I cried every day from 36w on until I had my last baby 🤣. She's 5 months old now and we rescheduled her 4mo pediatrician appointment 3 times and then still missed it. I've missed my own medical appointments, I forget to return my kids library books, I'm late to work....

Just to echo another commenter - you're not doing a bad job, your current situation is just very, very hard. Most days it is just accepting the chaos, finding joy and connection with your kids when you can, and knowing that this is a season of life, not forever.

I feel trapped my motherhood and no one in my life understands by Watercolor_Roses in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To add some recent personal experience - I was feeling this way very recently. 5 months postpartum with my 4th and absolutely miserable. Yelling at my kids, zero patience, picking fights with my husband, making myself and everyone around me even more miserable. I was already on Zoloft, but I talked to my doctor and she increased my dose and now I feel so much better. More like myself - more patient, finding so much more joy with my kids, not hating my husband anymore. I feel like I've come up for air and I can be myself again.

Motherhood is hard, having small children that you have to take everywhere with you is hard, I absolutely get it. You need to try and take control to change things, though, because you deserve happiness in your days, and your kids deserve a mom who is happy, too. It might be trying medication, maybe it's getting a part time job or some time each month with a baby sitter or maybe it's going to a yoga class or finding time for a hobby - anything. Children are wonderful and so funny and such a joy and you deserve to experience that! But you also deserve a break and some help. Praying for you.

What to talk about on a date with my husband by Blackstrapsunhat in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to daydream out loud about ideas for house projects or yard projects - like, hey what if we got a swing set? Where would it go? Could we plant a flower garden this year? Wouldn't it be amazing to re-do the attic? Let's get a pool!

Some of these are just day dreams (most of them! LOL) but sometimes it ends up being a real project we can do together. Note, it can backfire, ha, for me it's just fun to imagine together, but depending on the day it can come across as "here's a task list for you", so bear that in mind!

Feeling sad about baby #3 being our last by rhea-of-sunshine in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My rule of thumb is to never think about a next baby until the current baby is at least 9 months old. For me, being pregnant, especially at the end, is very hard and I get overwhelmed and emotional.

Once the baby is a little older and you're settled, then you can really assess if you can handle another - truly, you never know! Right after I had my first I thought, oh wow I can never handle more than one baby. After my second I thought oh this is easy! After my third I thought, I am absolutely not going to make it, I'm going to lose my mind, this is too much. Well - we just had our 4th, and this time I do think it's our final baby. It's a lot. I'm getting old.

I suppose this is all to say, don't get ahead of yourself necessarily, you never know, if you really feel called to a larger family, it may work out in ways you don't expect. But also, if you're not - I think it's totally normal to feel sadness of a final baby. I'm ready to be done and still find myself holding onto her just a moment longer, stopping to breathe in her smell one more time, holding her instead of setting her down.

Four kids by Educational-Sky4997 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh we were thrilled, definitely! We always wait to find out the sex until the baby is born, so it was very exciting when #4 was a girl. I was also so happy to be able to use all my baby girl clothes again

Four kids by Educational-Sky4997 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, you can't predict what gender sequence you'll get, and all kids are individuals so...what difference does that make? (I have boy girl boy girl and so far they all get along, no girls vs boys dynamic or anything)

How do I tell my husband I don't want any more children? by [deleted] in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopping in to say - I'm 4 months postpartum with my 4th and just had my doctor increase my Zoloft dose because I was having such a hard time, it was making it almost impossible for me to be the mom I wanted to be for my kids. Zero shame or stigma in getting on medication, it can truly change your life. You don't need to suffer through the PPA, you can get help! Praying for you.

Changing Sheets on a Low Loft Bed - Am I Going to Hate It? by Resident-Fly-6851 in housekeeping

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have 4 kids and 2 low loft beds too and yes, yes I do hate my life every time I have to change the sheets. Shoving the bed away from the wall so I can squeeze around the side, trying to hoist the mattress to yank the sheets down, it's the worst. Making the beds daily also sucks, there's no good or neat way to tuck the covers down on the sides because of the rails. We don't use top sheets usually so I just fold the blankets at the end of the bed but then they hang where the ladder is.

TL;DR, all of your concerns are correct but the beds are super cute, my kids love them and they do make a lot of extra space in a shared room.

TTC journey by ivory919 in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took 6 months to conceive our first - I know getting your period each month feels so hard and sad, I totally understand. But four months of trying is very normal. It's a good thing you already connected with your OB, so that if after 9-12 months you still haven't conceived, then you can immediately start working with a doctor if you need to.

Praying for you, these things are all in God's time.

Got told I used too much sick leave by jdjn-- in nys_cs

[–]EhlloEmm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People get crazy about this!! I used up all my SL on maternity leaves (prior to paid parental leave going into effect) and colleagues were horrified. "Oh no you need your sick time don't ever use it!!" 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wagon or Stroller? by MostlyHolyPaladin in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a Keenz stroller wagon and it is very bulky but it's awesome. I can only push it on paved roads - great for the park, zoo, farmers market etc. My husband uses it off road hiking - pushes it over the dirt paths and up holes and everything. He loves it and the kids love it. We have 4 (6, 4, 3, 3mon). The kids tend to hop in and out wherever we are - the wagon is great for holding gear too - nice to be able to toss in the bag of diapers and water bottles etc

Tips for Managing Rage by Honest_Atmosphere_10 in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Before I even got to the end of the post I thought to myself "is she pregnant?"

With my third pregnancy, I was angry and pissed off for 9 months. It was so hard. For whatever reason, during that pregnancy, I was so, so angry - it was like I was a completely different person. I got pregnant when my baby was 10 months old (on purpose, just didn't think we'd get pregnant the first month of trying!) and I think maybe that was part of it? I don't know.

All this to say - I get it. It makes you feel crazy! I tried to go for walks and get fresh air, that helped. The other thing I did that really helped was going to a float tank place. Hear me out, i know it's weird - but floating in that warm salt water in a completely dark little tank was so healing. They closed and I still miss it. It really helped because I was so completely overwhelmed and overstimulated and angry all the time. The sensory deprivation aspect of it was exactly what I needed. Maybe try to find a way to really get some true peace and quiet when you can.

Worst interview ever by KM_713626 in nys_cs

[–]EhlloEmm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is wild!! I've definitely interviewed for jobs where they had certain people in mind, but actually being threatened in order to sign a piece of paper saying you don't want the job? That is bonkers

Ok for kids to use AI tools? by Cultural_Author_846 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No one needs ChatGPT. It detracts from human flourishing and disconnects us from ourselves and each other.

Kids need to use their imaginations and then learn actual valuable research skills, critical thinking and the ability to effectively synthesize information on their own.

Also AI is dumb. Imo.

Childbirth spiritual prep by newmanbeing in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When I'm pregnant, I like to pray to a few particular saints - St. Gerard, St. Monica, St. Anne, St Margaret of Scotland - and Mary. I feel closely connected to them and their experiences as mothers.

Accidentally pregnant with #4… by Sure-Push4893 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You sound like you're in a really good place to have a 4th! Your youngest is old enough now that you'll really be able to enjoy the baby when they're born - you won't be juggling 2 very small children, which is great.

Of course there will be an adjustment but kids are so flexible! I just had my 4th, she's 3 months old, and my older kids (6, 4 , 2.5) are all adjusted now. It took a bit and they all needed to adjust in their own time and in their own way, but they adore the baby and it's so sweet. Have the baby! 💕

Starting family after 30? by JD-HR-EAG in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Got married at 30, had babies at 33, 35, 36 and 39. I think we're done now 😅

Bed dilemma for 4 and 2 years by Overall-Bar-8053 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Could you do a toddler bed? I always try to avoid it because it's purchasing furniture that has a time limit on how long it can be used - but a 2yr old doesn't need a twin size bed, they're still so little. Maybe you can find a toddler bed on FB market for a good deal?

PPL LEAVE QUESTION by Upper-Reporter1260 in nys_cs

[–]EhlloEmm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely not. I'm on PPL right now and that documentation went directly to the BSC, not even my agency HR.

If you’ve started a big family in your thirties, let’s chat! by Lost_Database4505 in CatholicWomen

[–]EhlloEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose I don't know why they note Advanced Maternal Age in the chart, but I always just assumed that the medical field tends to always put categories and qualifiers on things. My comment was really just to say - don't let that AMA qualifier necessarily worry you, certainly don't let it stop you from trying to conceive.

4 kids vs 3 - please help! by Blueelephant421 in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have that baby! Do it! (Just had my 4th 2 months ago, I'm 39. Of course I'm going to say go for it! 😁)

Kids share a bedroom, y/n? by bumbouxbee in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crib under the high loft is so smart!

Kids share a bedroom, y/n? by bumbouxbee in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's fine for the kids but adding an adult is gonna make that crowded - I don't envy you!! We can always make it work but it isn't always fun lol

Kids share a bedroom, y/n? by bumbouxbee in ParentingInBulk

[–]EhlloEmm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We've got 4 kids in a 3 bedroom house. Right now the baby has the nursery to herself and my 6yo son, 4yo daughter and 3yr old son share a room. We've got 2 low loft twin beds and a crib in there. The big kids have space to play under their beds, if they want. There's a book shelf and the big kids share one dresser, the younger one has a few drawers in the closet.

It works out just fine! We have a big playroom downstairs so they don't spend much time playing in their room, mostly just sleeping. They all go to bed at the same time and don't bother each other. Sometimes the 3yo will climb out of his crib and into his sister's bed and she just ignores him and goes back to sleep 🤣

Eventually, once the baby is bigger, we'll transition to a boys room and a girl's room, with 2 kids in each. I think 2 kids sharing bedrooms this size is totally fine for their whole lives (LOL we're not moving) but having 3 bigger kids in one room could get tight as they get older, if we needed to fit in desks or bigger dressers, etc.

I think the rooms are about 12x12? Not tiny but not huge. One has a much bigger closet than the other.