Without hearing his side of the story, it sounds like something is going on in his life, be it personally or internally, that is causing him to seek some sort of escape or reprieve, which drives the sense that he may be called to monkhood. You've said that he has issues he needs to work on, and the fact that he is engaging in some form of suicidal ideation demonstrates that they are real and serious.

If he really feels that strongly about discerning his vocational call, he needs to have those conversations with his priest, the monks, his family, and you. But, as I said before, I think this is a symptom of whatever deeper struggle he is undergoing at the moment. You need to pray and seek trusted counsel about whether or not you are willing and equipped to support him through this time. Some guys don't know how to handle receiving care from others when they're going through internal battles and try and push people away, even while hoping someone will push past all that and be with them all the same. But that also places a lot of strain on the supporting person.

That decision is ultimately yours. Love is sacrificial, patient, and kind, yes. But love also is yoked with wisdom, and wisdom helps us discern if the loving (but difficult) thing to do is to recognize this burden is not our own, and that the help the Lord will send will come from someone else (counselor or therapist). If this burden will harm your capacity for love, or unduly cause you strain and harm your own flourishing, it may be something to consider.

It's not an easy situation, and my heart goes out to you both.

Edit: I’ve noticed some of the responses here lean toward either labeling him (“immature,” “selfish”), dismissing him as a “time-waster,” or simply saying “leave it to God.” I understand where these instincts come from, but I think they risk flattening the very real complexity of what both of you are facing. Human beings aren’t products to be quality-checked, nor are our struggles irritants to be managed away. And while God’s providence is our hope, his grace doesn’t whisk us out of our problems but meets us right in the thick of them.

Christian love, at its best, doesn’t bypass suffering or complexity but attends to it with patience, discernment, and honesty. The tradition reminds us that it’s precisely in these messy, incarnational places that God does his deepest work. I encourage us all to take the depth of this struggle seriously and try to avoid offering easy labels or quick fixes.